queenofastrology:

Aries: a reality check

Taurus: a line of coke and a karaoke machine

Gemini: a slap and a mood stabilizer

Cancer: a box of tissues and a block of chocolate

Leo: a room without mirrors

Virgo: a xanax

Libra: a backbone

Scorpio: to be escorted into hell

Sagittarius: a joint

Capricorn: to sit still

Aquarius: to fucking listen

Pisces: nothing you’re a fucking joy

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Tags:

#astrology #I find it interesting #considering how horoscopes are supposed to be completely generic so that anyone can identify with them #just how *bad* Scorpio stuff is at describing me #and I can’t blame it on having supposed to have been a Sagittarius because the Sagittarius stuff isn’t much better