in the shower


me: that’s not quite hot enough let me just turn it up to boiling lava.
me: yes good i shall bathe in the waters of mordor.
me: why do we have like 25 different kinds of shampoo?
me: i’ma read the back of this.
me: lather, rinse, repeat?
me: why do i have to repeat is your product so shitty it didn’t work the first time?
me: hold the fuck up i have to write fanfic in my head real quick.
me: if water is a renewable resource does that mean every celebrity i’ve ever loved has showered in this same water before?
me: eheheheheheheheheheh.
me: but you didn’t have to CUT ME OFF.
me: did i already wash my hair?
me: i think i did but i don’t remember.
me: i’ma do it again.
me: well played, pantene pro-v. WELL PLAYED
me: i wonder what it’s like to have sex in the shower.
me: i bet it’s awkward.
me: i bet a lot of injuries happen that way.
me: okay time to get out.
me: where the fuck is my towel.


#this is pretty much *not* me at all #(I like my water lukewarm) #(and I generally sing Everything is Ending in the shower) #(which is probably where my increasing tendency to sing in a British accent comes from) #(even when both me and the song would normally sound American) #(it just seems wrong now to pronounce can’t in an American way when singing) #anyway #still hilarious though

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