inoppositionflorien:

I’d be great at violence and other crimes, I’d like to think. If that was a job, I mean.

Unfortunately the legal jobs that get characterized often as being “violence and crimes as a job” contain very little violence and crimes by weight and also have a degree of forced conformity that I don’t think I’d do well with. So I guess we’ll never know if I’d be good at them.

The point is I think museums should legally be able to assemble heist teams to heist other museums’s shit. This could solve essentially no problems, create many new ones, and destroy a bunch of priceless artifacts, but also it would be very funny and those priceless artifacts were stupid anyway.

In fact I think museums should all be allowed to steal anything from anywhere if they can get away with it, and it should be very easy to legally become a museum, with the main conditions being you can’t sell your collection and have to display some percentage (maybe 5 or 10%?) of it where it can be seen by the public (for at most a small fee, maybe like $20 tops). Heist wars. “Come to the Guggenheim, we stole davinci’s older, better woman-with-an-emotion painting and threw the Mona Lisa in the trash like the trash it is.” “Welcome to the National Museum of Brazil, featuring three insects and a bust from the British museum, one of the Benin Bronzes, the liberty bell, Two Thirds of Bill Paldorski from the US’s vinyl collection, and a terracotta soldier replica we made because the one we had got heisted by the Museum of Gabon. Also some stuff from Brazil, but you’re not here for that.” “Welcome to the Monument Museum. We were founded three years ago specifically to display the Statue of Liberty, and six days ago, as you may have heard, we successfully heisted it. It will be available for public viewing after we’ve reassembled it. In the meantime check out our Battle of May Island memorial stone and Minaret of Sinan Pasha Mosque, both of which we heisted for practice”

This would clearly be a superior world to live in.

Tags:

#story ideas I will never write #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #((this amusement not to be taken as expressing an opinion regarding the statement itself)) #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once