Welcome to Tumble Tales!

tumble-tales:

This blog is a collection of fairytales, myths and other stories told and retold on Tumblr.

This is a place for the mermaids who fall in love with dashing women sailors, the princesses who won’t get fooled again, the stories that are born in a text post that starts: But what if…?

Pull up a chair by the fire.

Once upon a time…


Tags:

#interesting #I look forward to seeing where this goes

shafiq28:

1971:

When the villagers heard from their city-based family about the massacres of 25 March 1971, they knew that the fate of Bidesh was at risk.

East Pakistan was disregarded as being “too Bengali”, uncouth and uncultured. This too extended to jadu: The jadukara of Maghribi (West Pakistan) decried the Bideshi ways for their reliance on what they saw as impure, unreliable methods based on silly superstitions. Their language was too clumsy for elegant magic, not like the beauty of Urdu or Punjabi. Their stories were messy and rambling. Their jadu weak and flimsy.

Those poor dears, they just didn’t know better. Assimilation would help everyone, can’t they see? Can’t they see the light? We only want to help them. We’re doing them a favour.

The villagers of Bidesh did not fall for any of that. Being Bengali, being steeped in the stories and language and lore, that was how they survived. The source of their jadu. Their livelihood.

The first deaths were of a number of teachers in Dhaka University. It would only be a matter of time before their Jadukara Cadet College would be a target. Some of its elite students and teachers took the hint and fled to safer pastures. Typical, thought many of the common folk; they claim to protect us, yet when our survival is really at risk, they only think of themselves. Just as selfish as the Maghribi.

Some, however, stayed behind: the few commoner students who had earned scholarships to the Jadukara Cadet College in the hopes of earning better lives for their families, the teachers that were aware of the true source of their knowledge, the outliers of the Shafiqs who were never quite comfortable with their privileged distant lives and knew that the real threat to their lineage were not the people the dainee had entrusted them to protect.

The dainee. They must know. They need to know. They’ll know what to do.

The elders of the villages came together for a communal jadu ritual: a rarity, as they tended to stick to their own clusters of families, but times of war call for unity. They tapped into the dangerous and difficult arts of shopnojyoti, dream magic – a complicated process involving draughts of rare spices and herbs accompanied with hours of precise tantramantra and rings of nazar battus for protection. As they closed their eyes, surrounded by all-night duas on tasbih and namaj for ishtikara and protection, they dreamt of a story:

A well-educated man hires a boatman to take him across the river.
Along the ride the well-educated man asks: Oh simple boatman, do you know of vedic astronomy?
No, sir, says the boatman. I only know of seeing the stars as I sail through the river at night, my only light in the darkness.
Ah, you are a simpleton, scoffs the well-educated man
. I know how to read the future in the sky. Your worth is only half of mine!
The boatman says nothing, but travels along. Further along the well-educated man asks: Oh simple boatman, do you know of ayurveda?
No, sir, says the boatman. I only know of the bark that my mother told me to chew on when I was sick, and which I still chew when I ail and tire.
Such a simpleton, replies the well-educated man. I know how to brew potions that will keep weariness and illness at bay. Your worth is only a third of mine!
Again the boatman says nothing, but travels along. Further still the well-educated man asks: Oh simply, simple boatman, do you know of tantramantra?
No, sir, says the boatman. I only know of the prayers I make before each journey, asking for direction and clear passageways.
Oh you really are a simpleton, exclaims the well-educated man. I know how to manifest anything I desire with just a few words! Your worth is only a quarter of mine!
As he made his proclamation he jumps up and down the boat, kicking a hole on the side. The boat begins to capsize as it fills with water.
Tell me, sir, says the boatman. Do you know how to swim?
Not at all, says the well-educated man in a panic.
I know the worth of my life, replies the boatman, and so I know how to rescue myself through cyclones and other treacheries of the water. The boatman pulls the well-educated man to the edge of the other side of the river.
The well-educated man is humbled and attempts to pay the boatman more than his original charge. The boatman refuses.
You do not know your worth, says the boatman, but I know your worth is the same as mine.

The very next day, everyone collected all the boats they could find, and built more with the strongest wood they can find. They cast their tantramantra, set up the nazar battus, and chanted duas. These boats will be their new homes, able to withstand the treacheries of war and water. These will be their schools, passing on the lore about jadu to the generations they hope will survive the genocide. This will be their shelters, not just for those with jadu, but for anyone who needs it – times of war call for unity, and the protection of a shared culture meant protection for everyone, regardless of borders or statutes of secrecy.

Borders and statutes were the invention of colonizers who saw separation and division as modes of power. Liberation from colonizers meant breaking those divisions.

On 4 December 1971, hundreds of Bengali’s brightest minds were rounded up and executed by the Pakistan army. Some of them were expert jadukara captured by the Maghribi before ransacking Begum Indrajala’s school. Those on the boats managed to sail away to safety, some of their passengers safeholding what’s left of her legacy.

The very next day, the people of Bidesh joined their jadunai familyon the battlefield, chanting and casting together: 

Joy Bangla!

[[picture source: Shidulai floating schools, a non-profit serving about 70,000 children in Bangladesh
The story is an adaptation of Sholo Anai Micche, a comic poem by Shukumar Roy
dua, tasbih, namaj: prayers, rosary, Islamic prayer ritual. Like most Bangladeshis, the Bideshi are largely Muslim, with an approach to Islam that is comparatively less orthodox than in many other regions of the world. Their Bengali cultural heritage, including jadu, is still an integral part of their being.
ishtikara: consulting, finding guidance for a situation
Maghribi: the Pakistani equivalent of Bidesh, their magical enclave. West Pakistan used to be known as “Maghribi Pakistan”.
shopnojyoti: dream fortune-telling – the idea is directly from livesandliesofwizards, but obtaining wisdom through dream is pretty common in multiple indigenous and marginalised cultures]]


Tags:

#stories #probably technically set in the Harry Potter universe but having no involvement with canon whatsoever #Bangladesh #floating schools

Reverend Alpert: The Blood Gestaltist

{{Title link is technically http://lb-lee.livejournal.com/598737.html, but functional version is https://lb-lee.dreamwidth.org/590631.html }}

lb-lee:

Alpert tells Perfection who he used to be, why he has only one name, and why he avoids the church.


Tags:

#recs #you should go read this #but first you should go read all the previous Reverend Alpert stories #so you can understand it and also because they are awesome #and after you can go read all the non-Alpert stories lb-lee has written #there are many other awesome stories to choose from

andreashettle:

littlemissmutant:

hi tumblr would you like to hear the bedtime story that Alex made up for me on the bus home

So there’s this princess, and some dudebro prince wants to marry her and stuff, because that’s how these things work out. Dudebro’s like “I love you! Let’s get married!” and she’s like “Ew.” And he’s mad because she Just Doesn’t Realize how much he Really Truly Loves and Deserves her! so he pays an unscrupulous witch to put a curse on her so that she will fall into a deep sleep and only true love’s kiss will be able to wake her up.

So the princess falls into a big old sleep and her family is like Oh no! and they summon the best doctors, who gather around her and keep her in a big clean room and try to figure out what do. and her friends leave her flowers and her little dog sits outside the door and whines, and she doesn’t wake up. And then dudebro prince comes in like <ahem> “OH HEY LET ME TRY SOMETHING MAYBE IT WILL WORK” and he pecks her on the lips and like, she doesn’t wake up. Because he doesn’t love her. He doesn’t even know her. He just loves the idea of marrying a princess.

But now she’s still asleep and everyone’s out of ideas and the witch won’t even give Dudebro his money back because like, hey, the curse worked, he was the one who fucked up. Everyone is so sad because they can’t help the princess! Then one day her little dog squeezes past one of the doctors and runs into her room, jumps on her bed and licks her face. The princess wakes up.

Unfortunately she still has some lingering curse narcolepsy and will sometimes fall into an enchanted sleep while she’s trying to go about her business, so her dog becomes a service dog and his job is to give her kisses whenever she needs the spell to be broken again.

And they live happily ever after!

Service dog! Whose task is to give kisses!


Tags:

#fairy tales #adorable

lb-lee:

kumquatwriter:

fluffbutts:

sixpenceee:

If you are looking for the most heart-felt zombie short film, I recommend “Cargo”.

It’s about a man’s struggle to save his baby daughter in the middle of all this havoc. What he comes up with is both clever and upsetting. 

WATCH CARGO

OKAY JUST WATCHED THIS, THE SOLUTION WAS AMAZING WATCH IT OHMYGOD WATCH IT

If you haven’t seen this, watch it. With a box of tissues.

It is easily the most heartrending zombie film I’ve ever seen, and I watch the shit out of zombies.

See, THIS is a zombie scenario that’s interesting to me, people being SMART about it.


Tags:

#zombie apocalypse #oh my god #I love competency and cleverness in a character #and this definitely hits the spot

brin-bellway asked: For the age meme: 12 and 218

eponymous-rose:

I did 12 already, but ah yes, 218.

The year is 2206. I’m still breathing. I’m still active. It doesn’t make sense, they say. When I hit 150, news reports crop up in the local papers, which I manage mainly by ignoring them. At 160, bigger media conglomerates start knocking down my door. What’s your secret? Tell us your secret!

I avoid them, hire a reliable publicist to keep them off my back. Fire him when he sells an exclusive interview to the highest bidder. He gets a job working for the famous child prodigy who’s been accurately predicting the slow slump of continents into the rising oceans.

What’s your secret?

I think a lot about it, try to figure out what’s different about me, some easy trick I can share. The docs have got nothing, and after giving them every tissue sample imaginable for future research, I stay away from their tests. In a sort of cracked desperation, once I hit 200 I start attempting stuff other people have tried. “I lived to 140 eating only yogurt and potatoes!” so, hey, that couldn’t hurt, right?

Turns out it can. Turns out I now hate yogurt and potatoes. “I’ll never eat it for the rest of my life” is a pretty potent threat when you’re functionally immortal.

I start submitting my thoughts to a private log, which I know is about as private as a glass skytrain. But hell. I’ll put in the token effort. Maybe I want to be heard, a little. I try to reminisce about family, until that hurts to much. I try to get into politics. Read books. Stop when it becomes clear that people are actually paying attention to what I say.

Children send me pictures of their pets, together with heartbreaking, handwritten notes. Can you make Snickers live as long as you? And, with increasing hope, Can you bring Peaches back?

I can’t. I keep all the pictures, until my directory is full enough to begin attracting unwanted attention. And then, without much other choice, I start posting the pictures to my permanent, private log.

The pictures outlast the pets. The pictures outlast their owners. Millions upon millions of loving snapshots and videos of small creatures who were loved, once. I’ve dragged them with me into immortality.

For a long, long while, it’s enough.


Tags:

#origfic #awesome #I think I was expecting an uploaded-consciousness kind of thing #mostly because of that one time I proofread an acquaintance’s Eclipse Phase fic #but this is great #and I thought the rest of you should see it too

Toad Words

{{Title link: technically https://carawj.tumblr.com/post/90052367351/toad-words, but an (as of 2019-07-16) more functional version is http://www.redwombatstudio.com/2014/06/26/toad-words/ }}

bakafox:

ursulavernon:

Frogs fall out of my mouth when I talk. Toads, too.

It used to be a problem.

There was an incident when I was young and cross and fed up parental expectations. My sister, who is the Good One, has gold fall from her lips, and since I could not be her, I had…


Tags:

#Ursula Vernon #recs #awesome #I read this fic on her LJ and it was great #(the problem with Tumblr is that reblogging has preserved the missing ‘with’ in ‘fed up with parental expectations’) #(though it has since been fixed in the OP)

Jackalope Wives

{{Title link: https://www.apex-magazine.com/jackalope-wives/ }}

mls-classics:

1crowlaughing:

Oh, I love this.  Hey everybody: go read this.

Hello, yes, good.

A tad body-horror-ish, but yes.


Tags:

#this fic #it is an awesome fic #go #bask in the wonders of Ursula Vernon #(I really should read Digger sometime) #(first people told me Digger was awesome) #(and I said ‘okay good to know’) #(and put it into the Infinite Pile of To-Be-Read) #(*then* I met Ursula Vernon) #(and found that she was awesome) #(*then* I learned she wrote Digger)

astrakiseki asked: *whispers* Nerdy little sphinx girl who plops next to the lady she’s riddling like an oversized cat and saying pun-ishment will be having to provide purr-fect pettings for a half hour.

astrakiseki:

pathopharmacology:

oh no oh no oh no

Stern lady adventurer who catches on to the pun thing in like two seconds flat and answers every single one with a totally straight face — “okay okay okay try this one: what did the scientist say about the book on anti-gravity?” “that it was impossible to put down?” “eeeeeee you guessed it!!!!!!“ — and at first the sphinx is super-excited because NO ONE EVER GUESSES PROPERLY, NO ONE!!!!!, but her elation soon turns to disappointment because the stern lady adventurer isn’t laughing and, like, that’s the whole point, and anyway the sphinx is hilarious, she knows she’s hilarious, puns are the bEST—

so basically it turns into a ridiculous and adorable adventure story where the sphinx decides she needs to accompany the stern lady adventurer on her travels because she is damn well going to make the woman crack a smile, and they get up to all sorts of shenanigans and the nerdy little sphinx girl puns her way out of half their scrapes and the stern lady adventurer is like “what” and “how” and “no”

The sphinx is all, “it’s probably a good thing you have me along, you know, because I make for a pretty great pawdyguard”

The stern lady adventurer scowls, all, “stop that,” and she IS NOT GOING TO SMILE at the way the little sphinx goes all wiggly and delighted

“Wait wait wait,” the sphinx says. “I have to tell you something. Me and you—”

“no. NO.”

“—make a TOTALLY—”

“don’t you dare”

“—PAWESOME TEAM!!!!!

“oh gods why”

[shipping intensifies]

And the sphinx is just smiling and acting all kittenish until someone tries to attack the stern lady adventurer, then suddenly the sphinx pounces and defeats the idiot soundly.  The lady adventurer is wondering why did she go into a battle mode there and not during some of the scrapes they’ve been in.

“Beclaws I was hungry.”  The sphinx shrugs as she licks her paws clean.

And the lady adventurer just sighs again and covers her face again, shaking her head.

Back To The Motor League: I am going to try to best explain what I witnessed at lunch today.

panasonicyouth:

I work in downtown San Francisco, in an area called South of Market (SoMa) that is literally that. It’s south of Market Street. I have a love-hate relationship with this part of the bay (which I elaborate on in an upcoming American Gods post) and lunchtime in downtown is a good example of that. I…

That…that…ahahahhaha…


Tags:

#I left two–TWO–Post It notes on your desk asking you what tie I should wear tomorrow AND YOU STILL HAVE NOT CIRCLED THE ANSWER AND RETURNE   #WHY DID YOU NOT REPLY TO MY EMAIL FORWARD I SENT YOU YESTERDAY. IT WAS FULL OF WONDERFUL POLITICAL INNUENDOS   #i almost want to write a fic about these two men and the absurdity that Angry Man always brings to the office   #san francisco   #what did i just witness   #tags original