humanfist:

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

Concept: a dungeon-crawling sci fi game, except instead of wandering space pirates, you play as a crew of legitimate salvage operators retrieving valuable goods from abandoned or evacuated cities on formerly populated planets that have been rendered uninhabitable by various civilisation-ending disasters. The different “dungeon types” would reflect whatever disaster killed that particular planet: plague, increasing solar intensity, nuclear war, continent-shattering meteor, etc. Long-dead worlds have already been picked over by your competitors, of course, so in most cases you’re going in while the world-ending catastrophe is recent – and in some cases still ongoing! – offering plenty of opportunities for potentially fatal misadventures. If you need an overarching plot, maybe you eventually discover that all of these apparently unrelated disasters have some sinister common thread.

A few of the odder fates that might befall a world, as well as salvage operators’ slang terms for such worlds:

  • Deadworld: A world whose inhabitants have been rendered irretrievably non-sapient by a contagious neurological disease, parasitic fungus, basilisk meme, or other similar vector. Though in many cases their bodies are alive and kicking, they’ve been declared legally brain-dead, leaving the world open for salvage. Describing these unfortunate remnants as “zombies” is considered both unscientific and insensitive, which stops basically no-one. Sometimes an apparent deadworld turns out to actually be a nascent planetary-scale hive mind, which just gets awkward for everybody involved.

  • Eight-Ball: A world that‘s experienced a hard-takeoff singularity, a sudden asymptotic acceleration of cultural and technological development that certain worlds undergo for reasons which remain unclear. Nobody’s 100% sure what happens to the inhabitants of such worlds; some believe they transform into beings of pure information, transcend to another dimension, or simply die off, their civilisation achieving its zenith, decline and extinction in a matter of hours. Whatever the truth may be, one thing’s for sure: they don’t need any of their stuff anymore. Eight-balls are highly sought after by salvage operators because of all the physics-defying Weird Shit the planet’s former owners tend to leave behind in the wake of their apotheosis, and are among the most dangerous assignments imaginable for the exact same reason.
  • Locker:  One of the oddest fates that can befall a world, a temporally locked civilisation – or “locker”, for short – is literally frozen in a single moment, usually as a result of some damn fool messing around with time travel. With fewer than a dozen known cases in the whole of galactic history, lockers present a unique salvage opportunity: the retrieval not of property, but of people. No means of reversing a temporal lock exists, so the world’s inhabitants must be rescued one at a time, by crews equipped with containment suits that allow them to move about in frozen time – a task frequently contracted out to established salvage operators. Lingering on such worlds is not recommended; though there’s no scientific proof of their existence, rumours persist that temporal locks are known to draw the attention of things that live sideways in time.

(Feel free to add your own!)

  • Fallout: Seems self explanatory but also includes worlds subject to more creative WMDs like anti-matter and spacial destabilizers.
  • Coolaids: Linguists and drunk scavengers debate why worlds subject to mass suicides are called this, but its been the term for longer than anyone can remember.  Watch out for memetic contagions and “rearguards” assigned to make sure no one gets left behind.
  • Chocolates: Most times when a planet dies it sends out distress signals or refugees.  Most times when a planet doesn’t you can still figure out what happened from orbit. Some times you just have to hope that it isn’t nougat.

Tags:

#story ideas I will never write #apocalypse cw

kiranerysismyhero:

Odo, if I wrote Deep Space Nine

Odo switches around his gender presentation whenever he feels like it, and pretty much everyone is nonplussed. He’s comfortable with pretty much any pronouns besides “it” so there’s a lot of different people around the station who use different things. Some always use he/she/ze/they etc, some switch around depending on how Odo’s presenting that day. Sisko usually uses the binary pronoun that most closely fits that day’s presentation when introducing Odo to temporary visitors to avoid getting off track with explanations, but he often uses “they” among station staff. For one species “odo” actually sounds very similar to a pronoun in their language so they basically view him as a French speaker would view a woman named Elle, and to everyone else it just sounds like they never use pronouns for him. Kira is most used to using “him” because that’s what was used exclusively during the occupation (Odo didn’t feel comfortable being as free with his form under the Cardassians) but sometimes she’ll use a Bajoran pronoun that doesn’t specify gender but rather respectfulness [those actually do exist in some human languages!!]. Starfleet’s files officially list him as genderfluid because the first time an officer asked his gender he said “…I am a fluid.”

Bonus: he likes to take on a hyper-feminine form when arresting Quark, to annoy the little misogynist

@maryellencarter


Tags:

#I feel like you would appreciate this #Star Trek #DS9 #Odo #gender #(I personally tend to headcanon him as having gotten attached to his maleness in much the same way) #(he gets attached to his patrol schedule and furniture placement) #(but I like this version too)

roachpatrol:

huinsutt99:

notbecauseofvictories:

Listen, I hear what you’re saying, but Young Sam being the deadly combo of his mother’s powerful Ladies Who Organize tendencies, and his father’s stubborn anti-authority pragmatism makes him an ideal community organizer. He’s cheerful and unflagging and drinks coffee at a rate that would impress even Maladict; he has a dartsboard in his office with an iconograph of Lord Downey II pinned to it, and when asked his response is invariably a chilly, “he knows what he did.” 

When you look deeply in his eyes you can see the abyss looking back. 

(It wants to know if you’ve signed that petition yet.)

#discworld#………look mostly I want a discworld novel about young vimes grappling with his own kind of guarding dark#a guarding dark that protects against a more slippery kind of dark; a waiting dark#cool and patient and careless; as in it doesn’t care about the blood or the death or the cost—it only seeks to further its own darkness#the kind of darkness that lingers in locked bank vaults and unsafe mines and private clubs; places where the darkness is a feature#rather than something to be guarded against#yes exactly I want sam vimes the second Kicks Off The Labor Movement#the Vimes Boots Theory of Wealth Inequality deserves nothing less#also I couldn’t figure out how to turn it into a joke#but the reason you can’t call it “grassroots” politics is because there isn’t any grass in ankh-morpork#“cobblestone level” politics is the closest they get  @notbecauseofvictories

cobblestone politics: you pick one up and throw it at the rich bastards keeping you down. then you pick up another one.


Tags:

#Discworld #(it took a while for it to click that they were talking about Vimes’s son) #(and not Vimes’s past self like in Night Watch)

bunjywunjy:

duckbunny:

morkaischosen:

probablybadrpgideas:

Your players are faced with an ancient Sumerian curse! However, since the early ancient Sumerian language was only used for recording tax debts, it turns out to actually be an ancient Sumerian bill.

and therefore they need to get hold of some ancient Sumerian coinage and bring it to the ruins of the ancient Sumerian tax office, because the Sumerians had a pleasingly direct way of preventing tax evasion, namely horrifying curses.

well I don’t have any coin but I have these copper ingots, lovely copper ingots, from a very reputable merchant, never heard a word said against him, very thorough with his paperwork, anyway they’re guaranteed pure copper and proper weight, so can I pay my tax with those?

I just want everyone to take a step back for a second and really think about how we’re using the most powerful knowledge tool in history to make jokes about a specific dude who lived almost 4000 years ago.

it’s fuckin wonderful, is what it is.


Tags:

#… #I cannot believe I actually understand this

prokopetz:

Bad: aliens that insist upon referring to human women as “feeeeemales”.

Good: aliens that insist upon dividing humans into binary categories, but the binary in question is based on something we’d regard as trivial and bizarre.

 

the-gender-enigma:

pro cilantro and anti cilantro

 

theamazingsallyhogan:

Just to screw with us they refer to have designated half the population as “edible” and the other half is “inedible.”

No intention of eating anyone, they just like how uncomfortable it makes everyone.

 

cerynn:

Even better: the aliens all agree on who is edible and who is inedible, but the humans have no idea what the criteria is

 

ethantheheffalump:

Even better: there is no criteria, the Aliens just keep a running list of whenever one member designated a human as edible or not. People are baffled because the selection appears random yet all the aliens are up to date, so there must be SOMETHJNG

 

jungwildeandfree:

I love this because it implies the aliens possess either (1) a universal hive mind or (2) an intergalactic group chat dedicated to fucking with humanity 

 

july-19th-club:

they have a hive mind but they only use it as a shitty groupchat for this kind of stuff


Tags:

#aliens #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #cannibalism cw?

yieldsfalsehoodwhenquined:

concept, prompted by this post:

an android who’s really dense about emotions and social graces and such, and everyone assumes it’s because he’s an android, but halfway through the series it’s revealed that he’s an upload, living in a robot body, of a human guy who’s just like that


Tags:

#robot #story ideas I will never write

sigmaleph:

disconnected fantasy worldbuilding detail:

a world that has a sun, but because magic it does not emit light, but rather some other thing. The moon converts that thing into light and it is bright enough to mostly function as a sun for daylight purposes. But it’s still a moon, with a lunar cycle, and so how much light there is varies over the month, making the new moon a time of extended darkness and the full moon _too_ bright

magical artefacts can function as mini-moons and also turn sunstuff into light, but of course they only work during sun-day.


Tags:

#story ideas I will never write

orestian:

raptorific:

action movie about a guy who pretends to be a hitman and does the whole “25% up front and the rest when the job is done” thing but then just keeps the down payment, doesn’t kill anybody, and stops responding to the client’s calls, knowing that they can’t sue him for breach of contract without confessing to trying to hire a hitman. problem is now a lot of people who are comfortable with the concept of paying someone to kill someone else are mad at him

none of his former clients know his real identity, due to him using a fresh fake for each con, so he decides that his only hope of making it out of this mess unscathed is to land the inevitable contract for his own assassination and fake his own death. thus begins his deadly race against the clock and against other actual bounty hunters, former clients, and a smoldering ex lover, whom he must betray, persuade or kill. darknet: the catfish bounty


Tags:

#story ideas I will never write #murder cw #death tw

ink-and-roses:

ahumblebard:

doxian:

I want a movie about a little girl, aged like 11-12, going through the stuggles of prepubescent girl life, with her entire inner monologue is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson.

Shot of disgruntled adorable little girl.

SLJ: I knew that Susie was a backstabbin’ motherfucker, and if anyone was going to ruin my chances of being Miss Sugar Drop Queen, it was that asshole. 

I didn’t know I needed this in my life until now.

This is never not funny


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #juxtaposition #story ideas I will never write

kaylapocalypse:

wunkolo:

I had a dream I was able to time travel and I went like 10, 20, 100, 1000, 2000 years into the future but the instant I went to 4,000 I got stuck in a time dilation jail set up by the American government in the year 3,877 in which anyone that tried to time travel back or forth across May 23, 3877 while on Earth would end up stuck in this time dilation chamber trap to stop time travelers but like it was so crazy and mismanaged because it was legit capturing like every single time traveler ever and the place had only been open for 12 minutes and was already getting overpopulated with nonstop multiple recursive instances of this one other guy trying to break previous versions of himself out of this god damn time traveler jail

that is fucking hysterical and absolutely sounds like something the American Government would set up. 


Tags:

#I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #story ideas I will never write #time travel #home of the brave