Honestly, for a criminal in Ankh-Morpork, being pursued by Samuel Vimes must be TERRIFYING
Just imagine:You’re walking in the Shades.
There’s no one around and your gang is gone.
Out of the corner of your eye you spot him:
Samuel Vimes.He’s following you, about thirty feet back.
He gets out of the shadows and breaks into a sprint
He’s gaining on you!
Samuel Vimes.You’re looking for your gang but you’re all turned around
He’s almost upon you now
and you can see there’s blood on his face
My Gods, there’s blood everywhere!Running from Commander Samuel Vimes
He’s brandishing his badge it’s Samuel Vimes
Lurking in the shadoooows!
His Grace the Duke of Ankh Samuel Vimes
Patrolling the streets (Samuel Vimes)
Solving all crimes (Samuel Vimes)
Arresting the guiltyyyyActual By-The-Book Samuel Vimes!
Now it’s dark and you seem to have lost him
but you’re hopelessly lost yourself.
Stranded with the Blackboard Monitor!
You creep silently through the streetsAha! In the distance!
An old safehouse of your gang friends!
Hope! You move stealthily toward it…
but your scent! Ah! It’s caught by a werewolf!Covering your tracks (Quiet, quiet)
Sneaking to the safehouse (Quiet, quiet)
Now you’re on the doorstep
Sitting inside: Samuel VimesLighting a Cigar (Samuel Vimes)
He’s coming to arrest you (Samuel Vimes)
You’re taking out your weapooon
Threatening Commander Samuel VimesMoving in to fight with Samuel Vimes
Get kicked in the crotch by Samuel Vimes
Puking on the floooor
Arrested by Samuel Vimes!You limp into the dark streets
Handcuffs tight around your wrists
And he has won; you’ve been beaten by
Samuel Vimes.It’s a reference to this song. Which is, incidentally, hilarious.
Tags:
#Discworld #music #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #it probably says something about just how long I’ve been on Tumblr #that I knew immediately what song this was referencing #Shia Labeouf #vomit mention
Brinens and Things 