via reddit.com
TIL that not everybody can work the “rumble muscle” in their ear. I just assumed that everybody can do it, but nobody ever talked about it because it is so useless.
Update: apparently I *can* do this? At least for short bursts. Huh.
Tags:
#oh look an update #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #kind of hurts to force it like that though
Do you feel like you have permission to be sexual or to have sexuality or to do things considered sexual in nature?
Who or what is granting this permission or denying it?
Does this tie into your asexuality?
(Related to this post.)
It depends on what you mean, but for the most part I do.
Personally, I feel like being ace actually makes it *easier* in some ways to feel like I’m allowed, because my sexuality is not interpersonal. People don’t get as many *opportunities* to forbid me from doing things, because I don’t do acts that require cooperation from others (I need very little of even the indirect, logistical kind of cooperation).
Being kinky *sounds* like it would make feeling permitted more difficult, and in some ways it can, but in other ways it makes things easier. Notably, my masturbation generally looks non-sexual when seen from the outside, out of context, and so getting caught is less bad. (The level of privacy at which I start to feel comfortable is “nobody else is on the same floor of the house”.) Fluid containment and lubricant sourcing are also complete non-issues.
It is probably relevant that my sex ed was pretty liberal (it *was* terrible for me, but only because I was an outlier who slipped through the cracks; unlike the “masturbation is for losers” kind of stuff that other people in the conversation are describing, the messages I received *would* have been good if I had been the intended type of recipient). It probably also helps that I’m not firmly attached to asexuality: the idea (regardless of how likely it is) of getting kicked out for having too much of a sexuality doesn’t really scare me, I kind of just shrug and figure “well, I could probably convince the bisexuals or somebody to take me in”.
I can’t relate to the thing in the linked post about not feeling like one’s sexuality really belongs to one: my sexuality definitely feels like it belongs to me, and that’s a lot of what I like about it.
Tags:
#sexuality and lack thereof #reply via reblog #nsfw text #asexuality
[no content in this post so that reblogs of this will be second-level reblogs]
I don’t remember it being used in my school.
It’s been long enough that I don’t remember the circumstances, but it was definitely not at school because I didn’t go to school. (I don’t *think* it was a schoolbook.)
It might have been from my parents: my dad’s left-handed, so *some* lesson on handedness would be bound to come up at some point†. Or media. Or maybe Girl Scouts (which is also kind of parents, since my mom led my troop). Or a combination of the above.
(When I dig through my brain, I get strongest associations with Girl Scouts, but that might just be from me *thinking* about previous right-handed-privilege stuff *during* Girl Scouts because of crafts using right-handed scissors.)
—
†And I suppose might not come up much in an all-right-handed family, so that alone would go a fair way towards making it not a Relatable Childhood Experience.
My mental model of a central SJ-enthusiast would not find the idea of handedness as a legitimate axis of privilege obvious, and would react to the idea with at best curiosity and at worst hostility. My mental model of a central generic liberal would also not find the idea obvious. I’m also very probably biased to underestimate the importance of “left hand = devil hand” type attitudes because I live in a liberal area where it doesn’t seem to be a thing. This is the context that informed the wording of my post.
It’s very possible my mental models of a central SJ-enthusiast and a central generic liberal are in error.
Tagging @ranma-official and @moral-autism because they also responded to my post.
I think the idea was, *because* handedness (in this part of space-time) is not a huge Thing to anywhere near the extent of gender or race or such, it’s a good way to ease people into the ideas without [putting them immediately on the defensive]/[making them focus on the trauma of their oppression] (depending on status).
So, I don’t think they’d go so far as to call it *legitimate* per se, but thinking it’s ridiculous to the point that “X implies that handedness is an axis of privilege” constitutes a significant mark against X also rings false to me.
Tags:
#reply via reblog #my childhood #our roads may be golden or broken or lost #mind you my dad also told me the ”I can’t operate on him! That’s my son!” riddle when I was a kid #and I felt *so* embarrassed and like *such* a failure not to have figured out the doctor was his mother #that I still remember it after all this time #(I don’t know what reaction Dad was aiming for or what reaction he thought I was having) #(but subjectively I felt like a disgrace to the name of feminism) #((I don’t recall the wording of my thoughts but that was pretty much the gist of it)) #(I doubt the *acute* pain lasted very long but the experience stuck with me) #tag rambles
[no content in this post so that reblogs of this will be second-level reblogs]
I don’t remember it being used in my school.
It’s been long enough that I don’t remember the circumstances, but it was definitely not at school because I didn’t go to school. (I don’t *think* it was a schoolbook.)
It might have been from my parents: my dad’s left-handed, so *some* lesson on handedness would be bound to come up at some point†. Or media. Or maybe Girl Scouts (which is also kind of parents, since my mom led my troop). Or a combination of the above.
(When I dig through my brain, I get strongest associations with Girl Scouts, but that might just be from me *thinking* about previous right-handed-privilege stuff *during* Girl Scouts because of crafts using right-handed scissors.)
—
†And I suppose might not come up much in an all-right-handed family, so that alone would go a fair way towards making it not a Relatable Childhood Experience.
Tags:
#reply via reblog #our roads may be golden or broken or lost #Girl Scouts #my childhood #(I’m…I guess I could put it as ”right-handed but left-armed”) #(my right hand is better at finesse and my left is better at brute strength) #((I use my left hand to open jars)) #(apparently Mom’s dominant hand is also her stronger and she was surprised to learn mine were different) #(I wonder how common a difference is)
I wrote a while ago about my baby roommate and novelty. The idea is that people find things interesting and exciting when they have the right amount of novelty. Things that are too predictable, like a children’s book you’ve read to a demanding kid ten thousand times, are boring. Things that aren’t predictable enough, like a long novel in a language you don’t speak, are also boring. It’s the process of forming expectations that are often right but sometimes surprised which makes something fun. So for a baby, repetitive play is fun, because every time the duck lands in the bathtub is slightly surprising; for an adult, those variants all make perfect sense and aren’t a source of thrilling novelty anymore.
But I think adults also vary tremendously in how much novelty they enjoy. There are people who reread books all the time, and people who never reread books, both of whom tend to regard each other with total incomprehension. There are people who like their nice simple job doing mostly the same thing every day, and there are people who’d die of boredom. And people are often attuned to different kinds of novelty – for me, ‘sewing dresses’ sounds like doing the same boring thing over and over again, but I bet anyone who actually does it would tell me that different fabrics and threads and stitches and fittings and other constraints make every project different.
I think we tend to talk about jobs as if everyone wants high novelty (art! research! acting! travel!) and some are forced to settle for the mindless drudgery of accounting or marketing or human resources or middle management. But that’s not how it works. Things that are an exciting and satisfying amount of novelty for some people are above the satisfying threshold for other people, and they’re just stressful and demoralizing. Things that would have some people grinding their teeth with tedium have lots of hidden novelty of just the right type for some other people.
But we don’t give kids a lot of opportunity to discover if they’re someone who would find accounting delightfully rewarding minute-to-minute. We don’t even tell them that anyone finds accounting delightfully rewarding. There isn’t really a chance, ever, to try forty things and figure out which one of them hits the right spot in your brain. Which is too bad, because I suspect that getting this right (and noticing when your job has ceased to offer it) is a major contributor to day-to-day happiness.
Why do people think accounting is boring? Learning it is boring. Doing the day to day job… you don’t just do the same thing all day. Almost everyday it’s a juggling of what’s normal important right now and in 30 mins or an hour that’s going to change and you have to shift gears because something else has come up. The part I like the most but find the least rewarding is reconciliation projects for accounts that are years old. I can spend hours digging through tons of information to figure out what caused the problem and when it’s resolved, I solved the puzzle! But all I have to show for all that work is a couple of sentences or *maybe* a spreadsheet showing what I found. But I almost never get to really dig in on those problems because there’s always so much to do that has to be done Now.
Maybe it’s more boring in companies that have sufficient staffing.
I have really been feeling that lack-of-opportunity-to-figure-out-if-you-would-like-doing-accounting lately. *Specifically* regarding accounting.
There’s a draft I never got around to posting that talks about how I’ve been considering the possibility of changing my major from computer science to accounting, but that it’s hard to tell whether that’s a good idea because I have so little sense of what accountants actually *do*. (I interact with enough programmers that at least I have some sense of what *they* do.)
I enjoy making my family’s financial spreadsheets and gathering and crunching the numbers on what possible frugality-efforts would get us, but I don’t know how suggestive that really is.
@gnomer-denois (it won’t actually let me ping you, but since I’m reblogging directly from you you’ll probably still see it), if I may ask, what made you decide to become an accountant?
Um, well. My degree in floral design (BS in Horticulture) wasn’t proving very useful since I didn’t have the equity to open my own store. Then I realized that, despite my rebelling against my math teacher mother, I do actually like math. I was on the fence between engineering and accounting but I prefer the more basic number manipulation to the higher level math.
My grandfather was an accountant after he retired from the Air Force, but a bunch of uncles and cousins are engineers, so that part could have gone either way. I had already taken an intro to accounting course during my first BS, and while it was confusing at first, once it clicked it made sense and I knew I could do it.
Also, at the time I started my BS in Accounting, most job listings for accountants required a BS and most for engineers required an MS. Since then there were stricter requirements put in place to sit for the CPA exam that mean I’ve needed to go on to a Masters of Accountancy, though I suspect if it was worked right that might not be necessary for everyone, depending on state/country. Recently I’ve been considering going on for my PhD and becoming a professor.
It sounds like you enjoy doing cost-benefit analysis and some other things that might lend well towards managerial accounting. Www.imanet.org has information about that if you are interested.
Thank you! That sounds promising.
Traditionally I take two consecutive days off from school-related tasks after finishing a semester, but I will look through that website after I’ve had a chance to recover.
I have one intro-level elective slot left in my computer-science major, so I can take intro to accounting without any sunk costs (the credits will still count towards my degree even if I continue with CS). I’m planning to do that next semester, and we’ll see how it goes.
Tags:
#reply via reblog #adventures in University Land
I wrote a while ago about my baby roommate and novelty. The idea is that people find things interesting and exciting when they have the right amount of novelty. Things that are too predictable, like a children’s book you’ve read to a demanding kid ten thousand times, are boring. Things that aren’t predictable enough, like a long novel in a language you don’t speak, are also boring. It’s the process of forming expectations that are often right but sometimes surprised which makes something fun. So for a baby, repetitive play is fun, because every time the duck lands in the bathtub is slightly surprising; for an adult, those variants all make perfect sense and aren’t a source of thrilling novelty anymore.
But I think adults also vary tremendously in how much novelty they enjoy. There are people who reread books all the time, and people who never reread books, both of whom tend to regard each other with total incomprehension. There are people who like their nice simple job doing mostly the same thing every day, and there are people who’d die of boredom. And people are often attuned to different kinds of novelty – for me, ‘sewing dresses’ sounds like doing the same boring thing over and over again, but I bet anyone who actually does it would tell me that different fabrics and threads and stitches and fittings and other constraints make every project different.
I think we tend to talk about jobs as if everyone wants high novelty (art! research! acting! travel!) and some are forced to settle for the mindless drudgery of accounting or marketing or human resources or middle management. But that’s not how it works. Things that are an exciting and satisfying amount of novelty for some people are above the satisfying threshold for other people, and they’re just stressful and demoralizing. Things that would have some people grinding their teeth with tedium have lots of hidden novelty of just the right type for some other people.
But we don’t give kids a lot of opportunity to discover if they’re someone who would find accounting delightfully rewarding minute-to-minute. We don’t even tell them that anyone finds accounting delightfully rewarding. There isn’t really a chance, ever, to try forty things and figure out which one of them hits the right spot in your brain. Which is too bad, because I suspect that getting this right (and noticing when your job has ceased to offer it) is a major contributor to day-to-day happiness.
Why do people think accounting is boring? Learning it is boring. Doing the day to day job… you don’t just do the same thing all day. Almost everyday it’s a juggling of what’s normal important right now and in 30 mins or an hour that’s going to change and you have to shift gears because something else has come up. The part I like the most but find the least rewarding is reconciliation projects for accounts that are years old. I can spend hours digging through tons of information to figure out what caused the problem and when it’s resolved, I solved the puzzle! But all I have to show for all that work is a couple of sentences or *maybe* a spreadsheet showing what I found. But I almost never get to really dig in on those problems because there’s always so much to do that has to be done Now.
Maybe it’s more boring in companies that have sufficient staffing.
I have really been feeling that lack-of-opportunity-to-figure-out-if-you-would-like-doing-accounting lately. *Specifically* regarding accounting.
There’s a draft I never got around to posting that talks about how I’ve been considering the possibility of changing my major from computer science to accounting, but that it’s hard to tell whether that’s a good idea because I have so little sense of what accountants actually *do*. (I interact with enough programmers that at least I have some sense of what *they* do.)
I enjoy making my family’s financial spreadsheets and gathering and crunching the numbers on what possible frugality-efforts would get us, but I don’t know how suggestive that really is.
@gnomer-denois (it won’t actually let me ping you, but since I’m reblogging directly from you you’ll probably still see it), if I may ask, what made you decide to become an accountant?
Tags:
#adventures in University Land #reply via reblog #adventures in human capitalism #today was the last day of my current semester #now that there’s no short-term schoolwork for a little while I was thinking of doing some digging #trying to learn about what being an accountant is like #but I will happily take stumbling across some information #(only one more month until I can make the annual report for 2017!) #(honestly looking forward to it)
I think one of them was Siblings Without Rivalry, but I don’t know if that was the one with the ice-throwing story. I just read the first chapter because it was free on Amazon and I’m kind of alarmed I read it as a small child; it’s all about horrific intrafamily bullying and parents talking about how much witnessing this makes them hate their kids. Then again, I’ve repeatedly had the experience over the last few years of going ‘wow I read what when I was seven’ (Animorphs, yikes) so maybe small children are just actually pretty resilient.
Huh, interesting. I tend to have the opposite experience: “wait, *this* was enough to terrify me when I was seven?” (There are a few episodes of mid-series Red Dwarf like that. They were trying to play the suspense for laughs, but back then I reacted as if it were played straight.)
It’s kind of comforting to see how I’ve improved. I tend to think of myself as fairly psychologically fragile, but compared to child!me I’m a goddamn juggernaut.
(it’s…probably for the best I never read Animorphs)
Tags:
#I did read a parenting book my parents had lying around when I was about nine #I don’t recall its specific problems #–and there may not have been anything specific so much as a general aura– #but I thought it was rather patronising and offensive #(as I had suspected it would be) #reply via reblog #my childhood #Animorphs #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see
Disney Descendants hogwarts house sorting fanfic. I am a simple person with simple needs like EXPLAINING TO EVERYONE THAT BEN IS NOT A GRYFFINDOR YOU DUMBFUCKS
this is excellent, and has also made me want to write sorting snippets for my characters
Are those last three any relation to this show?
they are indeed! “my characters” is loose usage, there – I play them in glowfic occasionally, but they are originally from the show in question. which is excellent, and I am delighted to find someone else who knows it!
:D
God, it’s been ages. I’ve only watched through it once, back in late 2012 (and technically very early 2013), on a recommendation from @justice-turtle.
I liked it. I did not entirely understand it, but I gather it is not a show that anyone entirely understands.
(I wonder if I still have it around here somewhere. I know I have some S&S fanfiction links buried in old bookmarks. *looks* Like this one!)
Tags:
#Sapphire and Steel #reply via reblog
Disney Descendants hogwarts house sorting fanfic. I am a simple person with simple needs like EXPLAINING TO EVERYONE THAT BEN IS NOT A GRYFFINDOR YOU DUMBFUCKS
this is excellent, and has also made me want to write sorting snippets for my characters
Are those last three any relation to this show?
Tags:
#reply via reblog #storytime #Sapphire and Steel
HEY Y’ALL IT’S HEALTH CARE TIME
GO SIGN UP
HEALTHCARE.GOV
GO. YOU HAVE 45 DAYS. GO NOOOOOW.
(sorry for shouting, but open enrollment is only nov 1 – dec 15 this year with minimal advertising to tell folks it’s open. go. please. get yourself covered.)
Update: because of this post, I successfully remembered to renew my Ontario health card.
This was…not its intended purpose, but also not *not* its intended purpose.
Tags:
#oh look an update #our home and cherished land #(now I just need to replace my 3.5-month-expired driver’s license) #((don’t worry I haven’t driven since then)) #(I’ve been using my Canadian passport when I need a government ID but a card would make things a bit easier) #((for some reason health cards generally don’t count))
Brinens and Things - Tumblr Mirror 