reply via reblog

Anonymous asked: Have you joined pillowfort? Why or why not?

~ Brin ~ 2 Comments

lavender-sprinkles:

I personally don’t have a Pillowfort account yet, but my partner does and she has let me look at her account fully to see what it is like. I’ve also viewed Pillowfort’s demo account which is linked to on their Kickstarter. I am waiting with anticipation when I can make my own account, but right now Pillowfort is in a closed beta which means the only people who have access to the site are ones who have been given special registration links. They were doing waves of free beta accounts a bit ago (which is how my partner got her account), but right now for every $5 you pledge to their Kickstarter you will receive a registration key if the Kickstarter gets fully funded (they are as of today 40% of the way to their $39,900 goal).

Here is why I’m excited for Pillowfort:

  • If you delete your original posts, every reblogged version will be deleted too. Edit your original post and the changes will appear on every reblog,
  • The ability to make posts visible to everyone, just followers, just mutuals, or just yourself.
  • A functional blacklist where you can blacklist a post body & tags or just tags.
  • A terms of service that explicitly states you hold all rights to your own intellectual property. It also states clearly that it forbids callout posts, doxxing, degradation, harassing, hate groups, spamming of tags with unrelated or offensive material, and slurs against minorities. If there is a user that is doing anything offensive or hateful, it is encouraged and mandated you don’t make posts about it and instead flag it and let the site moderators take care of it. This sort of system cuts down on “dashboard drama” and harassment that sites like Tumblr are known for. 
  • They have threaded comments which means discussions or praise no longer clog up your posts and your blog, keeping things much more organized and clean. We can also use tags for their ACTUAL purpose, tagging of posts for ease of search and organization instead of talking.
  • They have communities and a more connected user-based and user-led environment.
  • Posts in chronological order like they should be!
  • A staff that actually cares about the input of their members and is driven to listen and collaborate with their members to create a site that the users actually want instead of being led by a corporation that has their own agendas in mind.
  • A staff that wants to avoid corporate involvement, unwanted ads, and selling of user info to fund Pillowfort.
  • The future possibilities of what the staff can do with the site that we didn’t dream could be possible to have all in one place including accessibility and a functional mobile app.

So far, I’ve seen a lot of good things and I’ve been really impressed with how the staff is handling the site and how they have explained their plans for the future of Pillowfort.

If you say you really want a social media site that actually cares about their users, this is it. This is your chance to have what pretty much all of us want. This new blogging platform is all the best parts of Tumblr (and for those who miss Livejournal this is like a wedding between Tumblr and Livejournal) with all the parts we hate and loathe about the site scraped out of it.

If you like everything that you’ve read about Pillowfort.io, please pledge to their Kickstarter. Even $5 can help and it will get you a registration link to get on Pillowfort yourself if the Kickstarter gets fully funded.

If you can’t support Pillowfort monetarily, then please, please reblog, tweet, share, and spread it about everywhere you can. 

This is our chance to have a social media made with us in mind and it’s already starting out so well with 10,000 users in the closed beta. Let’s bring it to the next stage of its life!

 

Um.

Look, I understand why people would think having veto power over your OPs is a good thing, but also I really don’t want a site where bits and pieces of *my blog* are rotting out of existence because the thread originators unilaterally decided to delete them. Especially if–and I can’t find anything in the site’s about section that says for sure whether or not they do this, but it seems like the most obvious way to handle it–deactivating your account deletes all of your posts. You ever look at a years-old section of someone’s Tumblr and see how many of the OPs are deactivated? I want my blog to be an archive, not just an ephemeral stream†.

And I don’t want comments to be sequestered away within their associated posts, so that it’s not a standard action to say “hey, Brin often has interesting things to say and good taste in things to say them about, I want to be shown every thread where she comments”.

(having the *option* to make a particular comment sequestered rather than shown to your followers is good (perhaps a more robust version of the Tumblr “reply” function), but it should not be the default)

(likewise, occasionally you want a post to be sequestered, and I do agree that a better version of Tumblr would have a friends-locking system)

Pillowfort doesn’t have the best parts of Tumblr. It has the parts of LiveJournal that make LJ inferior to Tumblr, the parts that exalt posters over commenters, force you to make primarily OPs or be a second-class citizen.

(And, as I was saying the last time somebody tried a (somewhat more literal) marriage of Tumblr and Dreamwidth††, the whole reason I’m able to make Tumblr OPs is because I know my OPs are just one aspect of my blog and don’t have to stand alone.)

Each blog being a combined feed of the user’s posts and comments *is* what makes Tumblr great, and no “”new and improved”” Tumblr-inspired social-media site is ever going to have a hope of attracting me and others like me until they understand that.

—

†And yes, I *have* taken steps to ensure my blog archive outlives Tumblr itself.

††Notice how the OP on that post deactivated two years ago? And I’m still able to show you what my comment was?

Tags:

#reply via reblog #<– my favourite thing about having a Tumblr #Tumblr: a User’s Guide #amnesia cw #discourse cw? #(the following category tag was added retroactively:) #Pillowfort

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

nonomella:

Coraline is a masterfully made film, an amazing piece of art that i would never ever ever show to a child oh my god are you kidding me

 

cthullhu:

Nothing wrong with a good dose of sheer terror at a young age

 

whatthecurtains:

“It was a story, I learned when people began to read it, that children experienced as an adventure, but which gave adults nightmares. It’s the strangest book I’ve written”

-Neil Gaiman on Coraline

 

greenbryn:

@nightlovechild

 

lierdumoa:

This is a legit psychology phenomenon tho like there’s a stop motion version of Alice and Wonderland that adults find viscerally horrifying, but children think is nbd. It’s like in that ‘toy story’ period of development kids are all kind of high key convinced that their stuffed animals lead secret lives when they’re not looking and that they’re sleeping on top of a child-eating monster every night so they see a movie like Coraline and are just like “Ah, yes. A validation of my normal everyday worldview. Same thing happened to me last Tuesday night. I told mommy and she just smiled and nodded.”

 

redgrieve:

Stephen King had this whole spiel i found really interesting about this phenomenon about how kids have like their own culture and their own literally a different way of viewing and interpreting the world with its own rules that’s like secret and removed from adult culture and that you just kinda forget ever existed as you grow up it’s apparently why he writes about kids so much

 

12drakon:

An open-ended puzzle often gives parents math anxiety while their kids just happily play with it, explore, and learn. I’ve seen it so many times in math circles. We warn folks about it.

 

gokuma:

Neil Gaiman also said that the difference in reactions stems from the fact in “Coraline” adults see a child in danger – while children see themselves facing danger and winning

 

rosymamacita:

i never saw so much push back from adults towards YA literature as when middle aged women started reading The Hunger Games. They were horrified that kids would be given such harsh stories, and I kept trying to point out the NECESSITY of confronting these hard issues in a safe fictional environment.

 

jewishdragon:

Also, in an interview, he said that Coraline was partially based on a story his not yet 6 year old daughter would tell him 

SAGAL: No. I mean, for example, your incredibly successful young adult novel “Coraline” is about a young girl in house in which there’s a hole in the wall that leads to a very mysterious and very evil world. So when you were a kid, is that what you imagined?

GAIMAN: When I was a kid, we actually lived in a house that had been divided in two at one point, which meant that one room in our house opened up onto a brick wall. And I was convinced all I had to do was just open it the right way and it wouldn’t be a brick wall. So I’d sidle over to the door and I’d pull it open.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Right.

GAIMAN: And it was always a brick wall.

SAGAL: Right.

GAIMAN: But it was one of those things that as I grew older, I carried it with me and I thought, I want to send somebody through that door. And when I came to write a story for my daughter Holly, at the time she was a 4 or 5-year-old girl. She’d come home from nursery. She’d seen me writing all day. So she’d come and climb on my lap and dictate stories to me. And it’d always be about small girls named Holly.

SAGAL: Right.

GAIMAN: Who would come home to normally find their mother had been kidnapped by a witch and replaced by evil people who wanted to kill her and she’d have to go off and escape. And I thought, great, what a fun kid.

 

somewhereinmalta:

It’s anxious adults who desperately want to “soften” stories. Kids prefer the real thing: with monsters, bloodthirsty ogres and evil murderous stepmothers; where the littlest brother always wins and all the villains are horrendously punished in the end. The world is threatening to the eyes of a child, so they need a fictional universe where the little people have a fair chance against the big and strong.

 

maryellencarter:

Sometimes. Other times you have small anxious children who really, really don’t want anything upsetting or traumatic in their stories. Those do exist; I was one. The whole thing about “children don’t want soft stories, children want gore and horror and decapitated barbies” may apply to a majority of children, but not all of them. :P

#i also went hoppity-skip of my own volition   #i am not and was not a Real Child   #still kind of sensitive about that   #i was easily frightened and easily traumatized   #and the only people who seem to acknowledge that possibility at all   #are like Think Of The Children conservative activists and helicopter parents   #idk if i have a point here   #i just get a little tetchy about Real Children

—

Oh god, same.

The person right before you in the chain says “The world is threatening to the eyes of a child, so they need a fictional universe where the little people have a fair chance against the big and strong”, and while there’s a important harm *reduction* in that, also very important is “so they need a universe where things *aren’t* threatening for a change”.

This world is one *so* thoroughly threatening that even its *sitcoms* contain shapeshifting monsters that camouflage themselves as normal parts of the environment, and plagues that drive you insane and which can infect you through a phone call. A world where cars have stickers constantly reminding you of the terrible things that can happen to you in them, and every grocery store has a random chance of triggering you, re-rolled every four minutes (and you don’t have enough autonomy to even *attempt* to do anything to counteract it).

Why the fuck *wouldn’t* you want a break from that hellscape?

I did read Coraline as a kid, and I don’t think I found it *especially* horrifying, but “not especially horrifying” is *not* *saying* much at that age.

(I continue to be very glad that I did not read Animorphs.)

—

(Although, re: decapitated Barbies specifically, I *did* play barber-surgeon† with my stuffed animals. This somehow did not stop me from being what I think was the expected level of horrified by those bits of Toy Story; it wasn’t until I was an adult that I realised I was Sid.)

—

There’s *some* ways in which I rolled with it more as a kid (for example, my inclination towards fluff is actually *stronger* now), but I think that’s…sort of a learned-helplessness kind of thing? When horror is everywhere, there’s nothing you can do *but* take it.

(related: the thing where younger!me was into (what I would now recognise as) erotic horror because *that was all there was*; my tastes shifted heavily towards fluffy consentful stuff pretty much as soon as there was fluffy consentful stuff to be had)

—

I wonder if this relates to the assumption between adults that everyone’s masochistic.

—

†I don’t think I ever actually called it that, but I figure that term gives you a good idea of the sort of things involved.

Tags:

#the last time I walked into a grocery store and they started playing That Song #I walked right back out and listened to Florence and the Machine on my smartphone while I waited for them to be done #(and it *still* sucked just not as much) #ten-year-old me did not have that option #reply via reblog #long post #amnesia cw #ageism #nsfw text? #death mention #illness mention #my childhood

brin-bellway asked: 📻, 🎁

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

{{previous post in sequence}}

brin-bellway:

agapi42:

My favourite song currently: I do have times where a certain song captures my imagination and I listen to it a lot. Past examples include Nothing’s Impossible by Depeche Mode, the acoustic version of Gold Guns Girls by Metric, Clear Skies by Keane. However, nothing’s currently occupying that particular niche so I’ll go for a long-standing favourite, The Lightning Strike by Snow Patrol.

Best gift I ever received and why: I got a slide when I was six. That was great. Because it was my very own slide (except I had to share it with my brother) and I was six.

*

#marvel at my taste in music   #any suggestions as to new artists to try gratefully received

—

(sorry about the late reply, I was sick when you first posted this and by the time I’d recovered enough it’d gotten buried in my open tabs)

*listens to The Lightning Strike*

Huh, so *that’s* where “Be the lightning in me/that strikes relentless” comes from. My faction on Flight Rising is lightning-themed, and people use that quote in their forum signatures sometimes.

—

I’m not sure I have that much grasp on what your musical taste is, and TBH I don’t listen to all that much music, but last time someone asked me for a rec I said Assemblage 23 and that seemed to go well.

Tags:

#music #reply via reblog

another-normal-anomaly asked: 1: What is the best and worst purchases you’ve made? And 3: What is the craziest thing one of your teachers has done?

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

another-normal-anomaly:

evolution-is-just-a-theorem:

1: What is the best and worst purchases you’ve made?

Already answered, but I’ll add that deciding that whenever I think of something it would be useful to have I will just buy a bunch of it on Amazon has been an incredibly good decision that hasn’t cost me much money. Strongly recommend to anyone with an income, moderately recommend to anyone with good runway / expectation of an income.

Some example purchases: a ton of zip ties, a set of screwdrivers, a set of small plastic drawers to keep things organized, a bunch of power strips, various cleaning supplies that I needed at least once, a large pack of pencils and pens.

3: What is the craziest thing one of your teachers has done?

Asked me, and I fucking quote: “But what about the possibility of a collection consciousness”.

Fuck you and your shitty off-brand new age continentalism.

Maybe they just wanted to talk about the Borg :(

In the Voyager episode “Drone”, the Borg (or rather, disconnected Borg nanoprobes acting autonomously, but presumably with standing orders from the Collective) create a drone using a genetic sample and whatever tech they could scrounge up and convert into implants and a gestation vat. The being comes into existence already Borg-ified (still without a live connection to the Collective, but with a homing beacon).

I think this indicates that the Borg *can* have kids if pressed, though prefer to reproduce via assimilation.

(yeah, the kid was made with heavy technological assistance, but they’re *Borg*, they do *everything* with heavy technological assistance, so I don’t think that stops it from counting)

Tags:

#Star Trek #Voyager #reply via reblog #tangents

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~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

swimmer963:

My favorite thing about my accounting prof is how adorably indignant he is about some of the arbitrary conventions that come with his life’s work. Some representative quotes: 

On the topic of materiality: “So at one point someone noticed employees were taking office supplies home and made a new rule that you had to request them from the clerk. To which the correct answer is ‘screw you, stop being a goddamned clown, it’s a 50¢ post-it note, IT’S NOT MATERIAL!”

On the topic of audits: “Of course, if they *were* committing fraud, you would literally never know because they could show me whatever book with whatever coding rules they wanted. One time I DID find an error in the books and I was so excited, I ran to my supervisor to show them, and they said ‘all right, good job, now you write up why it’s immaterial.’ I’ve never been so disappointed.” 

Miscellaneous:

“Land doesn’t depreciate” 

“It’s now a lesser truck than it was” 

“Is the operating cycle more or less than a year? If they’re selling fish it’d BETTER be less” 

“You know, what made the first computers commercially viable wasn’t the Internet or anything cool like you kids do these days, it was that they could do accounting” (I have no idea if this is actually true but it was cute) 

“The quick version is that the whole thing is stupid, but I’m going to teach it anyway” 

“The statement of cash flows is a pretty pointless report but GAAP made it mandatory soooo here we go” 

>>(I have no idea if this is actually true but it was cute)<<

IIRC, it depends on what you mean by “first” computer. Like, not the *first* first computers, but in the 80’s spreadsheet software was a Very Big Deal and an important factor driving computer sales.

*goes to find some stuff on Wikipedia*

Here are the Wiki entries for two of the big spreadsheet programs of the time, VisiCalc and Lotus 1-2-3.

Tags:

#in which Brin is very much [a CS major about to switch to accounting] #(I originally learned the stuff above from a textbook) #I feel like the original post qualifies for the tag #I cannot believe I actually understand this #adventures in University Land #reply via reblog #unfortunately I’m too brainfoggy from a cold to study right now #I might be able to manage working on the household financial statement though #as that is somewhat more informal #illness mention #history

~ Brin ~ 3 Comments

@sinesalvatorem, I was going to reblog your post [link], but I figure giving poverty advice in a reblog when the OP is about how one shouldn’t give poverty advice is asking for trouble (especially when OP has relatively few notes), so I’m pinging you on a fresh post instead.

—

>>On that note, if anyone who reads this has any life hacks wrt saving money or earning extra income, or knows online resources that have compiled a bunch of them, please tell me! I already know of quite a few, but I’m always looking for more.<<

Hey, look, a special interest!

(or, well, part special interest, part coping mechanism)

—

(Disclaimers: I acknowledge that for any or all of these things, you [may already do them]/[may not find them worthwhile]/[may not be able to do them at all]. If anything in the rest of this post sounds like I don’t, that’s just because it’s sometimes easier to get the words out that way.

A more specific version that I feel is particularly worth pointing out: while I have had plenty of financial difficulties and qualify as “poor” by many definitions, I have never (quite) been *broke*. Some of these tips will be stuff like “how to spend $800 in one day in order to avoid spending $1,400 over four months”, and if you never have $800 on hand at any given time feel free to ignore that (though maybe file them away for if/when you reach a point in your life where you can afford to tie up some money for a while in order to spend less in the long run).)

—

This has been kind of a recurring theme on my blog lately, but: housemates are so important. Finances are best played as a team sport: going it alone is sadly necessary in some situations, but it’s definitely Hard Mode, and being poor is hard enough as it is without adding more difficulty modifiers on top of it.

(It *is* painful to have to watch people you share finances with spend money in ways you don’t approve of, but–I remind myself at such times–it’s still completely worth it for all the bulk discounts and such you can get. (Although I’m sure there are *some* people out there somewhere who are careless enough with money that this would not be true, and obviously you don’t want to share finances with such people.))

—

People hate on Uber-type things a lot, but honestly, they really can be a lifesaver. Delivery gigs are what tipped us over into being in the black for March†. (Up ~CAD$230 over the course of that month! God, it’d been *so* long since our money had been on any kind of upward trend for any significant length of time.) Some companies in some places will also hire bicyclist or even pedestrian delivery freelancers.

—

People also hate on advice to avoid bank-related fees because sometimes when you’re poor they’re unavoidable, but it’s still worth checking that each fee really *is* unavoidable before resorting to it.

(You know why I switched from annual statements to quarterly? Because I found out while preparing the 2017 statement that my parents had gone below their minimum chequing-account balance (which incurs a CAD$11 fee for each month it happens) *eleven months* out of the year, and had been quietly shouldering it *even though the household as a whole had enough money to cover everyone’s minimum balances*: it was just disproportionately in the kids’ accounts because at the time only the kids were employed. I immediately insisted on providing my parents with an informal, indefinite loan to help them cover their balance††, and started doing more frequent statements so we can catch shit like that sooner.

(Apparently Dad was embarrassed and Mom didn’t want to ~burden~ her children when she was ~supposed~ to be providing for them. And I was like “You can use the money you’re saving in bank fees towards buying me food.”))

—

You make a remark about the restaurants in San Francisco being expensive, and of course in this part of Tumblr I hear plenty about how high the rents are. To what extent does the Bay have generally high prices across the board (or for groceries in particular: grocery prices are about to be important), and how far away do you have to get from the Bay for things to stop having that markup?

The New York trick (travel to an area with a lower cost of living, stock up on cheap groceries to bring back) is harder in a place with no nearby-ish country borders or similar clear markers of “you are now entering the Cheap Zone”, but it might still be doable there.

(I think the trick used by people who *live* in Cheap Zones is to use coupons *intended* for places with higher costs of living (with discounts sized accordingly), but which are technically valid there. Occasionally these can even be stacked: Mom almost always brings some coupons (from American websites) to New York.)

—

Target does ad-matching: if you show them that another store’s flyer has a sale on a certain food, they will sell you that food at the other store’s sale price, letting you avoid the hassle and transportation costs of running all over town chasing deals. (note that Target does not match produce) The Flipp app [link] will give you the flyers for a (U.S. or Canada) postal code of your choice.

Walmart does not do ad-matching as such (in America; Canadian Walmarts still do it), but if you scan your Walmart receipt into their app, they will issue you an e-gift card for the amount you *would* have saved if they allowed it.

There might be other stores in your particular area that do matching, but these are the only ones I found when I was looking this up in an Arizonan context recently. It seems to be less common in America than it is in Canada.

—

Running ad videos and occasionally doing other stuff through Swagbucks is a nice way to get a bit of supplemental income. I recently helped Mom write a guide to using it [link], so I will direct you there. (please use the referral links, I’d very much appreciate it)

—

If you have anything that gives you a discount on Amazon purchases and/or generates income in the form of Amazon credit (like, say, Swagbucks), bear in mind that Amazon has an ever-expanding selection of other stores’ gift cards [link] (including, notably, Safeway [link]), almost all of which can be purchased using Amazon credit.

—

There’s this one program of incentives to encourage lower electricity use during peak periods [link] that I keep getting ads for from advertisers who don’t realise I’m not Torontonian, which is only available in Toronto and parts of California (weird list, I know). Is that applicable to you, or likely to become so?

—

I haven’t done any freelance audio transcription for Rev [link] in a while, but you might be better suited to it than I am. (Maybe your picking-out-what-people-are-saying-at-crowded-parties ability would help you here?)

—

>>At one point, I even had a list of which staple items are cheaper at which stores, but homelessness means I keep moving too much for that to ever stay relevant.<<

Some grocery stores let you look up their prices online, making it easier to collect data for such lists and less painful (relatively) to keep making new ones for new places.

—

I recently systematically went through the websites of every cell company available in this area and determined the single best phone plan for getting our house phone to do everything we currently need it to do while paying as little as possible, and I am very glad I did. If we hadn’t been careful, we could easily have ended up paying twice as much or more.

Unfortunately, there is essentially zero overlap between my available cell companies and yours, so I can’t just skip you to the end result of “Public Mobile is great; Freedom Mobile *might* be even better *if* you’re planning to only use your phone in cities”: you’d have to either do the comparisons yourself or find somebody more local who’s done it.

—

Some restaurants and the occasional grocery store will give you free food on your birthday. The selection is heavily location-dependant; there are various websites listing the available things for a given place (example: https://www.favoritecandle.com/free-birthday-meals/San-Francisco/CA), though their information is often out of date and you’ll need to check with each restaurant’s own website. Most require newsletter signups (I have a dedicated email address specifically for newsletters from people who might give me free stuff); many require you to buy something else in order to receive the freebie with it, but there are a few that are outright free (except transportation costs, of course: plan your route carefully, and ideally have them be on the way to somewhere you were going anyway). Last year I got a muffin (Starbucks) and a large fruit slushie (Booster Juice): this year Starbucks has unfortunately stopped offering freebies unless you buy at least one thing from them per year (any time during the year, though, not specifically your birthday! still suitable for lots of people!), but I’ve found a couple more newsletters and am set up to get a bag of chocolate-covered almonds (Giant Tiger) and a hamburger (Harvey’s), plus another slushie. (And who knows, maybe I’ll end up at Starbucks at some point between now and November and regain muffin eligibility for this year.)

(maryellencarter, if you’re reading this, note that I’m planning to give you a pre-sifted list of these for your birthday: you don’t need to go figuring this out yourself. I’ll probably compile and send it in October sometime, so that there’ll be less time for circumstances to change while still leaving room for the restaurants to consider you to have been on their newsletter for a sufficient length of time beforehand.)

—

My finances tag, “adventures in human capitalism”, might have some other stuff that I missed or covered in less detail here.

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†I don’t have a good picture of our finances after March yet: I’ve switched to preparing quarterly financial statements (formerly annual), but I haven’t finished collecting and processing the data from Q2, so right now it’s scattered around various bank accounts and credit-card records of four different people and I can’t see what it’s like overall.

††Honestly, I don’t really care whether they pay it back or not. Money used for things beneficial to me is mine for all practical purposes, and I’m not too concerned with whose bank account it happens to be in. (Mom expressed her gratitude at my “selflessness” recently, but I’m *really* not selfless: I’m just very aware that working together is in my own best interest. I don’t make anywhere near enough to survive alone: hell, often I can’t even contribute an equal share towards the group’s expenses, and have to find non-income ways to contribute like accounting and pest control. (I’ve gotten pretty good at killing houseflies. As long as they’re up against a window they’re easy.))

Tags:

#this post technically qualifies as: #oh look an original post #but is closer to the spirit of: #reply via reblog #adventures in human capitalism #long post #death mention #food #home of the brave #our home and cherished land

{{next post in sequence}}

~ Brin ~ 3 Comments

{{previous post in sequence}}

deductioneers:

Amass Fuck-You Money

 

thejochiang:

Goals: amass fuckyou money

Forever reblog the mother goddess

 

brin-bellway:

(status: I acknowledge that this is psychological damage from an extended period of financial hardship during formative years, but I nonetheless mostly endorse it)

Hmm. I seem to be having a bunch of thoughts and feelings about this.

There seems to be a…maybe “divide” is too strong a word, I don’t know. But…like, I called it “fuck-you money vs fuck-me money” in a post a while back. Even when the actions are the same, there’s this psychological difference in how people can approach it.

When I see FIRE people, they always frame it in terms of *freedom*. (It’s right there in the acronym: Financially *Independent*, Retiring Early.) But to me, it strikes me as being a thing about *safety*. “Enough money that you can run your household solely off the interest from your investments” can protect you from a lot of different problems, and *that’s* why the idea appeals to me.

A few weeks ago I saw some distant acquaintance-of-an-acquaintance on Tumblr (I don’t recall who) advising a young person with a high-paying job and relatively low expenses (Silicon Valley programmer, I think, or something like that) to go on some trips and enjoy themself, because they weren’t going to have this much disposable income again until their forties if not later. And it felt like a very weird framing to me, because…the way I see it, if future-me doesn’t have money to spare, then neither do I. I don’t have spare money unless I can afford to feed myself, and I can’t truly afford to feed myself unless I can afford to feed *all* of my selves.

16-year-old me got to eat because 7-year-old me’s dad put away some ““extra””, and eventually that ““extra”” was all he had left. Where is 33-year-old me getting *her* food from?

Because if the source isn’t me, then I don’t trust it to come through for her. I want to do all I can to make sure that, no matter who is or is not willing to employ her or for how much, 33-year-old me (and 44-year-old me, and 55-year-old me…) is fed and housed and so forth.

—

(This was going to be a tag ramble, but then I thought it should probably stay with the post if somebody reblogs it to respond or something. I’m just going to leave it in tag format.)

#this post probably partly inspired by my first anniversary of non-freelance employment   #which is coming up soon   #I think I will celebrate by scheduling the dental checkup I have been putting off for ~3 years because I didn’t feel I could afford it   #(yes government healthcare does not cover dental)   #(OHIP has some very weird-looking exceptions)   #(this is probably the result of some kind of complicated political negotiation that I’m not sure I want to know the details of)   #anyway a dental checkup seems like a good compromise between celebratory and practical   #(and [practical celebrations are easier to enjoy]/[I find myself drawn to practical gifts these days anyway including gifts I buy for myself])   #((that safety thing manifests here especially))   #((the things I dream of buying these days are always things that protect you from something))   #((checkups that protect you from tooth damage and electric cars that protect you from rising oil prices and solar-powered phone chargers that protect you from power outages))   #((this I am much less sure I endorse))   #((I mean I think it is good to want practical things but it would also probably be good if I felt safe enough to want a few non-practical things too))   #(((sometimes on especially bad brain days I can’t even bring myself to play Flight Rising)))   #(((that is currently the most common cause of my FR hiatuses)))   #(((it used to be the most common cause was that I felt like playing some other game instead)))

 

maryellencarter:

This is really interesting and I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I’m still not sure I actually have the brain to word everything I’m thinking/feeling about it, but here’s one bit, at least:

“the way I see it, if future-me doesn’t have money to spare, then neither do I. I don’t have spare money unless I can afford to feed myself, and I can’t truly afford to feed myself unless I can afford to feed *all* of my selves.”

I think… there are two things I’m thinking here. One is, I don’t think I believe, subconsciously, that it’s *possible* to have enough money to feed all of my future selves. This is almost certainly trauma-based – having enough money to eat has been a recurring theme in my life from the time I was very young, always coupled with inability to actually earn any money myself to buy any food. I’ve almost always been, and was *meant* to always be, dependent on somebody else to provide for me, and that has done Things to my wiring, which I don’t think I’m articulate enough to parse out right now.

(I think, at least partly… I’m not sure this even comes out in words, but I think there’s a thing I need to think at when I have words, which is that I – I don’t think I see working as me *earning money*. I think I see it as me doing what is incomprehensibly required by the eldritch deities that control whether I get to live. Like there’s a… you see posts about “you have rights as a worker, the company needs you, you have some control here”, etc etc, and I… can’t parse that? It fritzes me out. I can’t process the idea of me having any power in that equation. I’m supposed to only take what I get and be thankful they allow me to serve them. I think I see it as even more dysfunctional and abusive than how most workers in late-stage capitalism see it, and that makes it harder for me to deal with long-term. But that probably needs to be a post when I have slept recently.)

Where was I? Right. Tied into the same traumas is the – well, the brainwashing, that I eat Too Much. That no matter how little I eat, I have to eat less, because I am the Fat. (I’ve said this before, but my skeleton alone is probably hefty enough to play high school football. I’m never gonna be acceptably skinny, even if I literally starve to death.) So the… concept of feeding all my future selves, ties into that irrational belief – the idea that not only is it impossible to amass that much money under late-stage capitalism because the elder gods will not give it to me, but it’s impossible for there to *exist* enough money to feed all my future selves, because I’m like one of those entities in the one Norse myth. You know, the one where the cat was Jormungandr. Words aren’t wording and I can’t identify *which* entity; I feel like the logical one would be fire, the one that eats everything faster than anyone, but I keep thinking of the cup tied to the sea. But, I mean – am I making any sense? This irrational belief that no matter how much money I ever have, I will eat it all. (And that there will be other disasters, that I’ll always have to fix my car or buy new shoes or whatever, but fundamentally: that my needs are too much, that I’m too greedy, that no matter how much money there is, I will use it all up, because I am Bad and demanding and selfish and I take and take and take and never give. But also specifically that if I could eat, and I wasn’t forced to pinch pennies or count calories or be *controlled* somehow by people or circumstances, that I would literally never stop eating and I would eat and eat and eat all the food and all the money and use up all the resources and devour the world. Maybe *I’m* Jormungandr. ;P)

Uh. That… that turned into a thing. I really hope Tumblr doesn’t eat this. It hasn’t eaten any reblog posts I tried to make on my laptop *yet*, but I’m gonna copy it first anyway.

Anyway. All of that was approximately the first of the two things that I was trying to say here. The other one is, of course, that I also don’t actually believe in my future self existing. Any of my future selves. Again, it’s a trauma thing (obviously), but it doesn’t make it any less… convincing. It’s hard to feel like saving up to support my future self has any validity when I’m quite certain – not at all rationally, but still quite certain – that I’m gonna either keel over or kill myself sometime in the next few years. Or that somebody else will kill me. Something along those lines. “Sense of foreshortened future”, that one post called it. I died too young and now my brain can’t stop thinking I’m going to keep dying.

*sigh* I don’t even know if any of that made any sense. Basically I think it’s just a lot of irrational beliefs that I know are irrational but I can’t seem to uninstall them. But maybe writing them down will… help, at some point? Possibly?

>>One is, I don’t think I believe, subconsciously, that it’s *possible* to have enough money to feed all of my future selves.<<

Sometimes I try running some calculations regarding how much money my household would need in order to live off the interest, and depending on what assumptions I feed into the model I tend to get results in the 1 – 2 million USD range.

And on the one hand that’s a lot of money, but at the same time it’s not nearly as much money as I might have guessed off the top of my head. *And* that’s assuming the goal is to not–in an average year–have to touch the money originally invested at all, rather than merely having funds that aren’t due to run out until after dying of old age. (Brain: “The point is to *not* die; why would I make Plan A’s that rely on me dying at some point?”)

(Not to mention the various in-between consolation-prize states, in which one can cover a significant chunk of one’s expenses with interest and only needs to find a *little* work to cover the rest, which is not entirely safe but still quite an improvement.)

You might not find that sort of thing helpful yourself, but personally I find it reassuring to have a sense of the end goal. Even if I have a hard time believing I’ll ever actually have that kind of money, I like having an idea of what Enough money would look like, to help me know where I stand.

—

I was mostly using food as a metonym for necessities, but yeah, it does sound like you’ve got some food-specific brain issues.

(I have fairly low food needs myself, but that’s really just luck. Luck that I have a low metabolism, luck that when a nasty stomach bug in 2012 gave my gut flora a hard whack I found that afterwards my appetite now matched said metabolism rather than being slightly higher, luck that I live in a place where drinking water is extremely easy to source so that needing an extra 2 – 3 litres of water a day doesn’t cause more problems than needing less food prevents. (I don’t expect those things are *directly* related, but all bodies have their own quirks, and some circumstances are more amenable to some quirks than others.))

—

>>I don’t think I see working as me *earning money*. I think I see it as me doing what is incomprehensibly required by the eldritch deities that control whether I get to live.<<

I wonder if something like that isn’t more common than one might think, though maybe not to the same severity and…I think it’s particularly expected of *higher*-tier workers? Like, cubicle farmers and stuff. There is *some* room in the cultural consciousness for people scraping by on minimum wage to be displeased by having their hours cut, but people with a generally comfortable-in-the-medium-term paycheck are expected to have that mental disconnect between work and money, expected to desire to work as little as possible even when their pay is directly tied to how much they work. One is supposed to respond to the prospect of an additional day off with “Sweet, vacation!”, not “Damn, I wanted some more metaphorical acorns to squirrel away for later.”

(and even with low-tier stuff, I *still* sometimes get people expecting me to be pleased if one of my shifts gets removed from the schedule. even my own mother does this sometimes, and she *really* should know better.)

(And yeah, this is another financial aspect where I have the opposite psychological issues to you: I’m *acutely* aware of the connection between work and money. I still have a hard time believing that anyone is willing to pay me $14/hour just to do *this*, and I feel like I have to constantly justify my wage.

On the bright side, I think that *has* gotten me a niche in the employee schedule: slow times and times when he’s not *entirely* sure he needs an extra person on but the risk of being understaffed if he doesn’t is too great. My *top* speed is not very good, but my *average* speed can be quite competitive, because I keep looking for things to do long after everyone else has given up and started looking at stuff on their smartphones (or chatting to each other, or showing each other stuff on their smartphones). And if he puts me on and then finds out too late he didn’t need me after all, he gets a consolation prize of cleaner walls.)

—

>>“Sense of foreshortened future”, that one post called it. I died too young and now my brain can’t stop thinking I’m going to keep dying.<<

Reminds me of a conversation we had a while back regarding nausea, where the same basic impulse manifests in *your* brain as “I want to die” and in *my* brain as “I want to be temporarily unconscious; please wake me when this is over”.

Tags:

#…and now I’m late for bed #oops #reply via reblog #adventures in human capitalism #disordered eating #abuse cw #suicide cw #death tw #long post #(the following category tags were added retroactively:) #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers

Alicorn | Masquerade

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

{{Title link: http://alicorn.elcenia.com/stories/masquerade.shtml }}

another-normal-anomaly:

luminousalicorn:

New novelette.  Fantasy, < 12,800 words.

I’m curious where on the tempting/horrifying scale people find 1) Myron’s lifestyle of multiple bodies and 2) the narrator’s lifestyle of wearing someone else’s mask. I find the latter absolutely awful; better than death and maybe better than homelessness or prison but worse than most other things. The former is tempting for the life extension and the extra time, but it would take a *lot* of getting used to and I’d have a hard time believing the other person had actually volunteered; I don’t know if I’d go through with it given the opportunity. Is it possible for two people to wear masks of each other and get the life extension and redundancy that way? Because if that would work and my husband was down for it I could see doing it with him. (I asked him and he is not sure if he would be down for it, but thinks it would be worth trying.)

Myron’s lifestyle body-wise is pretty far along the tempting end of the scale, more for the redundancy than the productivity though the productivity is a nice bonus.

(“like a person with a mere single body was only just clinging to life” is pretty fucking relatable, tbh)

I still agree with the past self running a Star Trek: DS9 LJ comm and yelling about Rao Vantika that I would *absolutely* shack up in somebody else’s body to keep from dying. (I like being singlet, but I like being alive a lot *more*.)

>>I’d have a hard time believing the other person had actually volunteered<<

I also still agree with my previous Rao-Vantika-related yelling that if I had some particular reason to believe I was going to die *soon*, rather than just the baseline anxiety of clinging-to-life-with-a-mere-single-body, I *would* resort to nonconsensually possessing someone if that was the only option available. I’d try to move to a more willing host once I got the opportunity, though.

(I know that’s pretty horrifying, but I think dying’s even more horrifying. And I think it passes the Golden Rule, albeit primarily *because* I’ve already decided I would do it myself. I think I’d be pretty forgiving of [someone who possessed me because their choices were that and dying] because I *know* I would have done exactly the same thing in their place, and it’s hard to be really angry at someone for doing something when you fully agree that it was their best remaining move.

(I mean, obviously bodyjackers-in-self-defence should be as nice about it as possible: don’t fuck up their body, let them get plenty of time at the front if they’re not going to try to kill you (*especially* if you’re using some (non-mask) form of body-sharing in which people who aren’t fronting aren’t conscious), again try to find a willing host ASAP, etc))

—

Yeah, wearing somebody else’s mask is not the *worst* thing but still seems pretty bad. A lot of that is because of the power dynamic, though: it’s the other person’s body shape and the other person’s sole decision how much control of the body you get and when. If it were a more equal relationship I could see a lot more appeal, even if I personally prefer singlethood.

Tags:

#look Rao Vantika did *some* genuinely evil things #but in large part the dude just wanted to survive and I completely respect that #(and because it’s the first season and they’re still finding their feet) #(the mind-transference device Vantika invented is *never brought up again*) #(despite the fact that it should be a game-changer) #(despite the fact that a mere five episodes later they face a problem that) #(could easily be solved with the judicious application of a mind-transference device) #((you bet your ass any goddamn person in that village would have *gladly* volunteered to host the Storyteller)) #reply via reblog #Star Trek #DS9 #it was a good story and I am glad Anomaly talked me into reading it with this post #(Alicorn is very good at causing Emotions with her writing) #(but she often aims for *negative* Emotions) #(and it has been a long time since I was in a state of mind where I could handle that) #(so half the time if I read a new Alicorn story I regret it because I’m too fragile for that kind of thing right now) #(but this was in the other half) #tag rambles #death tw #there is probably some other warning tag I should put on this but I am not sure what

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

thejochiang:

deductioneers:

Amass Fuck-You Money

Goals: amass fuckyou money

Forever reblog the mother goddess

(status: I acknowledge that this is psychological damage from an extended period of financial hardship during formative years, but I nonetheless mostly endorse it)

Hmm. I seem to be having a bunch of thoughts and feelings about this.

There seems to be a…maybe “divide” is too strong a word, I don’t know. But…like, I called it “fuck-you money vs fuck-me money” in a post a while back. Even when the actions are the same, there’s this psychological difference in how people can approach it.

When I see FIRE people, they always frame it in terms of *freedom*. (It’s right there in the acronym: Financially *Independent*, Retiring Early.) But to me, it strikes me as being a thing about *safety*. “Enough money that you can run your household solely off the interest from your investments” can protect you from a lot of different problems, and *that’s* why the idea appeals to me.

A few weeks ago I saw some distant acquaintance-of-an-acquaintance on Tumblr (I don’t recall who) advising a young person with a high-paying job and relatively low expenses (Silicon Valley programmer, I think, or something like that) to go on some trips and enjoy themself, because they weren’t going to have this much disposable income again until their forties if not later. And it felt like a very weird framing to me, because…the way I see it, if future-me doesn’t have money to spare, then neither do I. I don’t have spare money unless I can afford to feed myself, and I can’t truly afford to feed myself unless I can afford to feed *all* of my selves.

16-year-old me got to eat because 7-year-old me’s dad put away some “”extra””, and eventually that “”extra”” was all he had left. Where is 33-year-old me getting *her* food from?

Because if the source isn’t me, then I don’t trust it to come through for her. I want to do all I can to make sure that, no matter who is or is not willing to employ her or for how much, 33-year-old me (and 44-year-old me, and 55-year-old me…) is fed and housed and so forth.

—

(This was going to be a tag ramble, but then I thought it should probably stay with the post if somebody reblogs it to respond or something. I’m just going to leave it in tag format.)

#this post probably partly inspired by my first anniversary of non-freelance employment   #which is coming up soon   #I think I will celebrate by scheduling the dental checkup I have been putting off for ~3 years because I didn’t feel I could afford it   #(yes government healthcare does not cover dental)   #(OHIP has some very weird-looking exceptions)   #(this is probably the result of some kind of complicated political negotiation that I’m not sure I want to know the details of)   #anyway a dental checkup seems like a good compromise between celebratory and practical   #(and [practical celebrations are easier to enjoy]/[I find myself drawn to practical gifts these days anyway including gifts I buy for myself])   #((that safety thing manifests here especially))   #((the things I dream of buying these days are always things that protect you from something))   #((checkups that protect you from tooth damage and electric cars that protect you from rising oil prices and solar-powered phone chargers that protect you from power outages))   #((this I am much less sure I endorse))   #((I mean I think it is good to want practical things but it would also probably be good if I felt safe enough to want a few non-practical things too))   #(((sometimes on especially bad brain days I can’t even bring myself to play Flight Rising)))   #(((that is currently the most common cause of my FR hiatuses)))   #(((it used to be the most common cause was that I felt like playing some other game instead)))

Tags:

#tag rambles #adventures in human capitalism #this should probably have some warning tag but I am not sure what #I will put this in the tags though: #I was reading my Tumblr archive recently and *damn* 2014!me was having a hard time #she didn’t talk about it much in public but occasionally she couldn’t quite hold it in anymore and it leaked out into a post #I felt very sorry for her #basically what I’m saying is #hi 2022!me #I hope you’re in a good enough position that you can feel sorry for me rather than going ”yeah I still know that feel” #(but if so please do still provide for farther-future!us) #(just with a healthier frame of mind) #(maybe buy solar chargers *and* video games) #in which Brin has a job #(the following category tag was added retroactively:) #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers

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~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

moral-autism:

moral-autism:

moral-autism:

moral-autism:

Laptop is in the shop almost certainly overnight at least. I can’t find the power cable for my old 2010 one. I probably can’t set up my Raspberry Pi, I know I don’t have the right adapter for it because I broke it. I might be able to use someone’s old AlphaSmart?

Laptop still in shop. I should get info tomorrow at least, emails say I’ll be called after 48 hours. I forgot to ask about the AlphaSmart.

Honestly I think the amount of stuff I’ve done and the fact that I have had chunks of happiness over the past several days and not injured myself at all is really suggestive of a lot of mental health improvement. Maybe it’s experiences, maybe it’s having more produce and sardines, but something’s working.

This is still really difficult for me, though.

Update: Apple called this morning to say that I have a hard drive problem (that affects booting from USBs and persists when the drive is wiped, yet doesn’t present any issues when copying files off the drive? seems unlikely) or a motherboard problem. Apple wanted to charge $475 to fix it, which I declined.

I was able to install Xubuntu on it from USB, and it is “working”, in that it still can’t talk to the battery at all and that it seems to freeze sometimes. I’ll probably try to transfer files later today. I am still overall dissatisfied with this state of affairs, though.

I am happy that I have a computer right now, but this does create a bit of a dilemma. I’m not sure I can justify replacing this computer just because I want to play some video games without Linux support and be able to see how charged my battery is. I guess this might get worse in the future, which might also justify replacing it. I sure don’t know how to replace a motherboard myself, and it sounds like a huge pain.

Laptop status update:

  • It gets completely nonresponsive and requires a forced shutdown sometimes more than once daily
  • Still doesn’t show the battery level (acpi won’t work)
  • Sleep/wake issues, does not travel well (overheats in bag)
  • Cannot shut down properly

I also still haven’t put my files on this thing. “Mount a 200GB disk image, on an HFS-formatted drive, of an Ext4 partition with logical volume management, and then figure out how to decrypt an encrypted user folder, with the password but without being able to log into it” is something which sounds like it should be technically feasible but also kind of sounds like a nightmare, and I have a feeling that my current computer setup is really not my long-term setup. I can get files from SpiderOak but that will take a while and they won’t be as recent.

What’s going on with the disk image was that booting up my computer in Target Disk Mode and getting the data off of it, using a connected Mac, was such that I couldn’t mount or even really properly interpret a partition with logical volume management, so I just frickin’ copied the whole thing. Yadda yadda I should make more frequent cloud backups or actually figure out how to do regular nice usable backups to a drive or both. At least I have the files. Probably.

I will apparently have some support in repairing or replacing this machine, which biases me towards doing so. Also, I’ll want to use it for taking lecture notes and other time-sensitive outside-the-home uses, so freezing and being a pain to store while asleep are problematic. If I repair it, I’m pretty sure it needs a logic board replacement which I would really rather not do myself. (I don’t have the right screwdrivers, a good workspace, etc.) If I replace it, I should probably replace it with a Windows machine, because the only times I’ve used OSX recently have been gaming and taking the easy route in dealing with printers/scanners.

I don’t know much about shopping for non-Macs or using whatever the latest version of Windows is. Every time I interact with recent proprietary operating systems I do get the vague feeling that they are tending in a direction my computer is not, such that my experience with Windows XP and 2016-and-previous versions of OSX won’t necessarily generalize.

If anyone has advice on any of the above, let me know.

For replacement laptops, eBay is great, especially for people located in the United States. The laptop I am typing this on, which I recently bought from one of the refurbished-laptop stores that sell through eBay, was USD$300 *after* international shipping and import taxes. For an American, it would have been around USD$250.

My usual strategy for laptop buying is “get the best PC USD$300 can buy”. I generally find laptops at that price point strike a good balance between “cheap” and “will keep pace with my needs for the approximately three years it takes for a used laptop to die of old age anyway” ; if you need more from a laptop than I do, you may need a higher budget.

You might not need me to tell you this, but make sure you know what kind of specs you need in a computer (RAM quantity, storage space, number of CPUs, dedicated vs basic graphics, etc), and add a little to leave room to grow. When searching, keep an eye out for laptops that have been discounted because they have problems in areas you don’t care about or are willing to live with: my previous laptop was unusually cheap because it was incapable of standby and took several minutes to come out of hibernation, which was pretty easy to adapt to for someone with my usage pattern.

Since I only just got a Windows 10 machine yesterday, I can’t say much about it. I *can* say that I’m pretty much just keeping that partition around for gaming, and intend to continue using Ubuntu for my primary OS.

—

Rather than a dedicated backup drive, I just keep a full copy of my files on my smartphone [link], where they are readily accessible and can in fact–in most cases–be accessed directly from the drive itself. I gather that a lot of people have too much data to pull that method off easily, but even if you can’t do it *yet*, maybe keep it in mind for if/when the progression of smartphones’ increasing storage space catches up to your needs.

Tags:

#reply via reblog #home of the brave #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now #(that is a category tag; I actually own four right now) #(it’ll drop to three probably-tonight when I give Dad my old laptop to replace his broken one) #(and I haven’t yet had a chance to sell off my old smartphone but I still plan to) #(morning edit: I think it probably qualifies for this tag too:) #adventures in human capitalism

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