Santa is on strike due to global warming. All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger. Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.
A Vulcan named Stork works at the Terran adoption agency. Parents always request that he be the one to deliver their child to them.
It’s years before anyone explains it to him.
People keep gifting him robes with long white birds on them.
The fun thing is he would understand why people were getting him outfits with storks on them. That’s a word, it’s his name, straightforward. All the humans get him the same gag gift, but like, they’re putting effort in at least. This is a genuinely nice outfit. Stork will be a walking zero-effort pun sometimes, rather than waste a perfectly fine robe.
It’s fine. This is a readily comprehensible human illogic. Exactly the kind of thing he expected from moving to Earth.
Six years in he finds out about the stork bringing babies.
Stork has a good long meditation session about this myth, his name, his job, the outfits, the whole shebang (or whatever Vulcan concept is the equivalent).
And he decides he’s honored by it, in a humanly illogical way.
The humans are asking him to do what is after all his job, and specifically requesting him for the joy his name brings them on top of an already agreeable and satisfying task. He has no objection to engendering positive emotions in others. Harm hastens the heat-death of the universe, Surak teaches, so happiness must logically slow it down.
Plus, Vulcans of his generation love puns. There were two decades of punning competitions in colleges across the planet. So when he realizes that he is a walking zero-effort pun, and that the humans also love the pun, he is all for it. He is the Joe Cool of the entire Vulcan population in his city.
And via this pun, the humans are including him in a cherished and traditional myth, by casting him as the literal bringer of life and the expander of families.
There’s no downside. Stork wears his robes, pins, keychains, and other bird-related tchotchkes with genuine pride.
Tags:
#Star Trek #fanfic #story ideas I will never write #puns #adorable #embarrassment squick?
Also, interesting note on Lucy’s condition. Stoker is actually subverting what was a common trope in that time period.
It was a common for characters in novels to fall ill, often from tuberculosis, which had similar symptoms as what Lucy is experiencing- paleness, loss of energy, difficulty breathing. A victorian reader would quickly recognise these symptoms, and the trope they are suggesting.
But in this case, nope, it’s not that rascally consumption this time, Lucy’s got a case of the vampires, lads.
#Dracula #vampires #puns #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #illness tw #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what
#adorable #puns #domesticity #(…holy fuck the price of a hippopottoman has doubled in the past 7.5 months) #(I looked it up and the original tweet listing it at $99 was January 1st 2022) #(now it’s $199)
well, it was ok yesterday, and if it was ok on one day it should also be on the next one, so
Tags:
#first thought: are you telling me they used a picture from an electric-coil stove instead of an actual induction stove and #*didn’t even use a spiral coil*?? #second thought: no actually there’s like a 75% chance you’re not going to be okay #more if you count trauma #third thought‚ after scrolling down: and Sigma’s joke isn’t *either* of the interpretations that came to my mind #how many are we up to now
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Brinens and Things 