justice-turtle:

so obviously having a small turtle introspect about her childhood experiences with money leads to a whole new set of “is this normal?” or occasionally “does this ever happen? like, to anyone? what the fuck”

Keep reading

We had a lot of attempts to institute an allowance that never lasted very long, and what form the allowance took varied between attempts. IIRC, there were some versions where the money was dependent on good behaviour, but it wasn’t phrased as a fine: rather, “refraining from having a tantrum” *was* one of the tasks you had to complete in order to receive your money.

When we did the garage sale when I was 13 so that we wouldn’t have as much stuff to haul up to Canada, I *think* there were separate sections for each kid’s stuff. We’ve occasionally taken part in bake sales, and if I baked my own contribution I was consistently allowed to keep the profit. (It was inconsistent as to whether the cost of ingredients and/or the cost of things I bought from other bake-sale participants were deducted from the take.)

I don’t think I’ve heard the joint-casing one.

I never ran a service myself, unless you count Girl Scout cookies (and the profits from that went into a group fund for the troop, which was then used to cover supplies, field trip travel costs, and the like). I don’t know if it was common.

I don’t think I was ever outright forbidden from spending my money on a toy. (There was no question of whether I would get the money: even in-between allowance attempts, my extended family always gave me gifts of money for my birthday and Hanukkah, and I was allowed to keep it in a separate bank account.) There were a couple of times I wanted to buy a gadget and Dad talked me into getting a different gadget instead. (Which I think was for the best. A laptop *was* better than a Game Boy Advance (although I later got a GBA as a gift), and the Sandisk off-brand iPod was cheaper than Apple’s without really losing anything functionality-wise.)


Tags:

#reply via reblog #my childhood #abuse cw #(in OP) #(I’m fine)

sinesalvatorem:

I lost my first tooth while my mother was out of the country and I was home with just my dad.

He was So Excited about getting to be in charge of a parenting milestone all by himself.

It was honestly really cute.

Because my parents didn’t believe in lying to kids, I knew it was the parent’s job to steal the kid’s tooth and then pay them damages.

So, I knew it was my dad who’d put $5 in our currency (~$2 USD) under my pillow for it.

When my mother got home, she was SHOCKED.

She was basically like “WTF, why would you give them so much money???”

“Even if you were trying to keep up with inflation since when we were kids, wouldn’t you give them one dollar???“

“Do you know how many teeth kids have????”

“They never would have noticed the difference! But now you can never reduce the price!”

My father is usually a very thrifty, financially-savvy man. He had just gotten over-excited.

But now his wallet flashed before his eyes.

And he had a face of “Dear G-d, what have I done”

The type of horror you’d feel after accidentally launching a nuke.

I felt sorry for him.

But I never let him reduce the price >:)

I could see an argument for “the first tooth is more special and gets a higher price”.

(My first four teeth refused to budge even as their replacements began to grow in, and had to be pulled. I got $10 for the four of them, and a warning that this was due to special circumstances and I should not expect $2.50 for every tooth.)


Tags:

#reply via reblog

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And the number of people who thought a family bedtime of 2 AM was inherently abusive, because it would leave me chronically extremely sleep-deprived in order to get up for school on time the next morning. And I’m like “dude no, I just sleep until like 12 and do schoolwork in the afternoon, it’s fine”. And they’re like “school starting in afternoon?? does not compute”.

In my family when I was a kid, grocery shopping was a group effort, and we often went as late as 11 PM. I liked going grocery shopping, especially when I learned during a Girl Scout field trip to the grocery store how utterly lacking in grocery-shopping experience the other kids were and how incompetent this had left them, but dear god did we get a lot of Looks and a significant number of Questions when people saw two young children out and about that late.


Tags:

#this started as a tag ramble on the previous post #but I decided to split it off #you can still kind of see a bit of tag-register influence on the first paragraph #oh look an original post #homeschool #(I’ve shifted my sleep schedule back somewhat these days)

I can’t remember now who it was (I know @sinesalvatorem has been talking about school lately, but I think it was before that) who was talking about the overly large grip the school system has on society, and gave the example of how “what grade are you in?” is often used instead of “how old are you?”. I was thinking this morning* about that, about my own attempts to navigate the dreaded “what grade are you in” question as a homeschooled child.

At first, when I was very young, I would just freeze in confusion. I had no idea what they wanted from me.

Eventually I learned it was a weirdly convoluted way of asking for my age. I didn’t think in grades, I thought in years. Sometimes, if I could remember the age–>grade translation algorithm well enough (it was hard to keep straight even at the best of times), I would translate for them. Other times I would try to cut to the point and give them my age in years. (Occasionally I’d get persistent people who would keep asking for a grade after being told an age. Usually I tried to explain that that’s not generally a meaningful question when you’re homeschooled**, either in that abstract way or–if I could remember the grade levels involved–saying things like “well, my math and history textbooks are designed for Xth grade, my spelling workbook for Zth grade, my writing textbook for Wth grade…”)

This all got worse after I moved to Canada, because it turns out that by Canadian standards I was born on a different side of the school birthday cutoff. While homeschooled grade levels are, as I said earlier, generally flexible, my parents had taken the lead of the American school system and started me on a kindergarten program at the same time I would have started public kindergarten, shortly before I turned six. While the grade levels of my textbooks soon diversified according to my abilities, there was a rough trajectory based on this starting point. In Canada, the birthday cutoff is in December instead of September, and a Canadian kindergarten would have wanted me shortly before I turned five.

There was no simple translation anymore, not even at the best of times. If I told them my grade, they would think of me as younger than I was. If I told them my age, they would think of me as older than I was. If I told them both, they would think to themselves “ah, she was held back a grade”, lower their estimation of my intelligence, and view me through that lens.

In an attempt to avoid all of these outcomes, I started to use longer explanations more often. For a couple of years in my mid-teens, the explanations began with “I lost count at 9th grade”, because frankly I had. I didn’t bother trying to get a grip on it again; what would it help if I were going to have to do the whole explanation anyway?

When I joined Girl Guides, soon after moving, I was placed by grade. I was placed according to the grade I was “actually in”, not the grade I “would have been in” if I’d been raised in Canada. I was a year older than people expected of me, and it tripped them up, especially in my last year after I reached age of majority.

(”You forgot the ‘parent or guardian signature’ bit on this form.”

“I’m eighteen. I am my guardian.”

“Oh, right.”)

This sort of thing seems to be a common problem across a lot of people whose lives are weird in some way. Somebody asks you what they think is a simple question, expecting a simple answer, and you’re like “oh god, do I lie? do I say something technically true but highly misleading? do I dodge the question? do I give a short answer with lots of implied weirdness*** that raises more questions than it solves? do I launch into an explanation of why [it’s not a meaningful question]/[it’s more complicated than that]?”

*An hour before waking-up time, goddammit brain.

**Sometimes you get homeschoolers who try to be very rigid and follow a strict grade system, but most of them loosen up before long and the ones who don’t are considered kind of weird.

***Example: “I’m on vacation between Xth and Yth grades,” says a child in October.


Tags:

#oh look an original post #our home and cherished land #I should probably get a homeschooling tag #I’ll go for something obvious #homeschool


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inquisitivefeminist:

brin-bellway:

sinesalvatorem:

I just watched Mean Girls! Damn, that movie is so Problematic I love it.

Mean Girls confuses me greatly.

It seemed to me like standard pro-homeschool propaganda, though with a bittersweet ending tacked on over the usual bad ending. It’s the cautionary tales homeschoolers tell each other, converted to movie format.

A movie like that is inherently niche: it can’t have mainstream appeal because the mainstream itself is the villain.

I watched it at a party with a group of public schoolers once, and I was boggled that they liked it. A movie that hated them, that called them animals (and not in the technical sense), and yet they were enjoying it.

Is this that “you aren’t stuck in traffic, you are traffic” thing? Nobody’s bothered by anti-public-schooler sentiment because everyone thinks of themselves as not counting, that the sentiment is directed at all those other people?

(Or maybe I was supposed to pattern-match it to Relatable Stories Reminding Me of My Own Life, and enjoy it on that level? But since I never went to public school, the thing in my life it best pattern-matched to was propaganda rather than personal experience, completely changing my perception of the film?)

What strikes you as homeschool propaganda, the thing where Cady is Corrupted By Popularity and ends up changing her whole personality?  Or the thing where the movie talks about how High School Is Like A Jungle/otherwise terrible?  Because both of those are very common teen movie tropes, and I’m curious if you’d react in a similar way to similar movies.

#I can think of way more examples for the first one  #I think the second one is more common in like books  #(and adaptations of books)  #probably to appeal to Sensitive People Who Read  #but it’s still definitely a common cultural trope

Both of them are also common tropes in cautionary tales about why you shouldn’t go to public school. Corrupted By Popularity is more disturbing when you’re a kid hearing these stories, but as I’ve gotten older I find High School Is Like A Jungle getting worse because of that…that knowing superiority embedded in it. “Yes,” it says, “we’ve all had times where we looked at a group of public school kids and saw a pack of lesser animals for a moment before they resolved into people. Most, perhaps all, of us have had times where they never resolved into people at all. It’s okay; not only okay, but worth encouraging.” And that’s…not…okay? It’s sure as hell not worth encouraging. Like, yeah I’ve done it, and I don’t feel inclined to beat myself up over it, but these days I try to actually see people as people? Not seeing people as people has a pretty bad track record in general.

@sinesalvatorem

“Yeah, I think public schoolers see it and think ‘Oh, yeah, I remember that shit at my school’.

ie: It’s not anti-public-school propaganda any more than people think the
average sit-com is anti-family propaganda. It’s a dramatised and
exaggerated version of their /actual lives/.”

#i mean i went to school in a completely different culture  #and still spent that movie going ‘oh yeah i remember that’

…huh. I really liked sitcoms as a kid, but I liked them to the extent that they did not remind me of my own life. They were–rather like Mean Girls, actually–glimpses into other ways of being.

I did once hear that Roseanne was so popular because it reminded people of themselves, and that surprised me. I liked Roseanne best because, as an upper-middle-class homeschooled kid, the lives of the Connors were completely alien to me, and I thought that was fascinating. I mean, it’s certainly possible to have a more alien-to-me life than they did–hell, I’m pretty sure you have one yourself, Alison–but people more foreign than them are generally portrayed as foreign, as people who are interestingly strange rather than interestingly identifiable-with. Roseanne portrayed itself as normal, as a story made by and for an alternate universe where people actually lived like that, and that was why it appealed to me.

It may be worth noting that IME, homeschooled minors generally do not date. Teen relationship drama pings as foreign to me, because…look, one time I heard through the grapevine that some sixteen-year-old in the community was dating someone, and the reason that got passed through the grapevine was because it was unusual for a sixteen-year-old to be dating at all. Another time, we got this one age ~14-15 kid who’d started out in public school and only recently switched to homeschooling. Apparently he flirted with the other kids around his age, most of whom didn’t notice and the remainder were weirded out. I honestly don’t know whether he flirted with me or not; I was in the oblivious majority, and I only know this was happening because I heard the parents talking about it.

Bear in mind, this was all among secular homeschoolers.

Mind you, even with the cautionary tales it’s very common for kids to switch to public school later on, especially at the middle-school/high-school transition, and the kids who do this tend to be more otherwise-normal than the kids who don’t. The weirdness level of homeschooled kids thus becomes more concentrated the older they get; in particular, groups of homeschooled teens are frequently upwards of 50% autistic. There are confounding factors and probably complicated feedback loops when it comes to which differences in homeschooling culture are actually cultural.


Tags:

#reply via reblog #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #(the following category tag was added retroactively:) #homeschool


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ilzolende:

thetransintransgenic:

So I haven’t thought about it in AGES, but did anyone else grow up with Muse Magazine? That there was, like, a fundamental part of my childhood.

I did! It was good. Also Odyssey and Cricket and other stuff by the same people.

Yes! Muse was great. I still have a bookshelf full of back issues I saved over the years.

These days I use Daily Planet and science blogs to scratch that itch, since they’re a lot cheaper, but still.

(One time I sent a letter, and they actually published it in the “letters to the editor” section. I was very surprised and kind of weirded out: all I really did was complain about [minor error redacted]*, why would they bother publishing that? My parents were so proud and showed it to everyone we knew, and it was embarrassing.)

*I’m tempted to be more specific about it and just figure that anyone who manages to work out my name given only that information is welcome to it, but nah.


Tags:

#reply via reblog #Muse #my childhood #the power of science

vessel-haver:

cyborgbutterflies:

buzzfeeds:

every time i share a bed w someone i realise that this is what married life is gonna be like and suddenly im happy with staying single for the rest of my life

There’s actually some important differences. Sharing a bed with a spouse often involves a lot more cuddling and also sex with someone you are comfortable with and love.

Like, I am happily married and enjoy sharing the bed (though it is problematic in some ways, it not being enjoyable is not one of them, despite the bed being small). I enjoy it entirely because I like the person I am sharing it with. It doesn’t make much sense to compare sharing the bed with a stranger to that, since strangers tend to make people a lot more uncomfortable than spouses do.

Who you do the thing with makes almost all of the difference.

I would guess that married couples also don’t have to scrupulously avoid physical contact while sleeping? Also two of my relatives just put two beds right next to each other.

…wait, who said anything about strangers and scrupulous avoidance of physical contact? When I was nodding along with OP, I was thinking of sharing a bed with my parents and later my brother. (Especially my parents, because I was in the middle between them, which meant no matter which way I turned I had somebody’s breath or sweat in my face.) Nightlights that were too bright, body heat that was too warm, people waking each other up on their way to the bathroom, and the snoring. Oh god, the snoring. We can’t stay in a one-room hotel because I can’t sleep in the same room as my mother, let alone the same bed. Even to this day, when I am down the hall with a humidifier/white-noise-machine running, occasionally she’s still too loud.

(Did you know it’s possible to routinely take less than two hours to get to sleep? Ten-year-old me did not know that. (Ten-year-old me actually fought sleeping separately, because better the devil you know.) AFAICT, kid!me’s insomnia was not an internal issue, but entirely due to ill-suited sleeping environment.)

…yeah, I really like sleeping alone.


Tags:

#yes I have tried earplugs on those fortunately-now-rare occasions when I must share a bedroom with my mother #turns out earplugs give me nightmares #specifically false-awakening nightmares in which I remove the earplugs and find my ears are still clogged #(given that I was prone to clogged ears as a kid) #(and was always scared that one day I might get them in both ears simultaneously and be nearly deaf for ~3 weeks) #(*and* ear clogs *were* often triggered by plugging my ears) #(I suppose it’s really not surprising that my subconscious takes earplugs badly) #reply via reblog

lizardywizard:

academicianzex:

stanford-pines:

In retrospect, I’m pretty sure the reason every American kid my age knows the song “Kids in America” is because of the jimmy neutron movie

Bitch, digimon the movie soundtrack

Get on my level

i don’t know it from any movie i just love kim wilde okay

i’m old


Tags:

#…oh my god #I have to go with the OP on this one #(although I think I have heard it places other than the Jimmy Neutron movie?) #(but only around the same time period) #music #Jimmy Neutron

wholmesianmisfit:

Who remembers

Motherfucking Scholastic

Scholastic Book Sales 1

Book

Scholastic Book Sales 2

Orders

Scholastic Book Sales 3

And then the magical traveling circus of scholastic would randomly show up

at the motherfucking BOOK FAIR

Scholastic Book Sales 4

 

ningcomepoop:

love

 

tessaviolet:

seriously the best ever.

 

italktosnakes:

This was actually my childhood. 

 

carolina-girl:

Wish they had these I high school

 

pinapplecuffs:

I planned very carefully so that I could manage to get my parents to say yes to letting me get something. Though, as good as the day walking through all the stuff was? Delivery day way so much better.

Do I remember these Scholastic sales? Not quite. Homeschoolers do it a little differently.

I looked forward to the Scholastic catalogues, arriving in our mailbox every month or three. Better still, though, were the warehouse sales. Twice a year (though most years we only went once), the Scholastic warehouses opened their doors to homeschoolers (also teachers and their families). As if that weren’t enough, most of the items were half price.

We drove for…I remember it as being a bit over an hour, but I also remember it as being located in Cinnaminson, and Google Maps says that’s only about 15 – 20 minutes away from my childhood home…anyway, we drove to the nearest warehouse and spent a couple of hours wandering the concrete aisles, looking at the books and occasional PC games on the warehouse shelves and some metal racks on wheels (like those shown above), spotting books to patch the holes in series we’d partially read (often out of order), buying things we’d never heard of because they looked interesting. (Every year there was always one book that turned out to be disappointing, but it was worth it to get all the ones that turned out well.)

The checkout line was almost always extremely long, but I didn’t mind, because I could read the books while I waited.


Tags:

#Scholastic #my childhood #nostalgia #(mixed with some pity) #(oh it was joyful at the time) #(but in hindsight it’s kind of sad that little-me’s access to reading material was so limited and luck-dependant relative to me now) #the more you know

jtotheizzoe:

popsci:

Alton Brown’s Secret Workshop: Inside the Mad (Food) Scientist’s Lair

Food Network star Alton Brown began hacking (he prefers the term “hacking” over “inventing”) on his food-science show Good Eats. During season one (which aired in 1999), he made an inexpensive fish smoker out of a cardboard box. Since then, his hacks have grown in size and showmanship. Brown’s Mega Bake oven uses 54 one-thousand-watt lights to cook a pizza in three minutes, and his Jet Cream makes carbonated ice cream in 10 seconds using two fire extinguishers—one filled with CO2 and the other with a “top secret” chocolate cream mixture.  

Brown has big plans for 2016, including releasing a new cookbook called EveryDayCook and embarking on a second national culinary variety show tour, the Eat Your Science tour, beginning in April in Charleston, South Carolina. In the meantime, Brown took a few minutes to talk with us about his inventions.

Read the interview here

Sensei, I am ready. Let’s collaborate.


Tags:

#Alton Brown #food #the power of science #I may be feeling some Good Eats childhood nostalgia