runawaymarbles:

whetstonefires:

The thing is that the most interesting and novel invention of the MCU is a universe where billions of people turned into dust and then were physically reconstituted on the spot five years later, in a world that had just barely adapted to their absence.

That is wild. That is intense! That is a series of pathos-ridden emotionally complex doorstoppers waiting to happen. Half the entire world! All dead! And somehow we coped with that! And now we have to cope with them all being back?

A whole street of empty houses–surely not everyone there became ash. Some of them moved to better places, now opened by the mass mortality. Some of them died afterward. Who will live there now? Even if inheritances are reversed by resurrection, surely leases aren’t renewed. What the fuck happens to everyone who remarried?

What happens to the children snapped back to a world where their parents didn’t survive, or the reverse?

But they had to then hastily smooth over this utterly batshit sci-fi premise and get the world mostly back to normal working order as rapidly as possible, without too much emphasis on how literally every person in existence has been placed in a mason jar by a narcissist and shaken twice in five years.

So they could get on with more superhero whack-blam business, which is customarily done against a background of Normality.

This is, tragically, the most Comics thing these movies have ever done.

It is beyond satire that they did this immediately before and during a worldwide pandemic that everyone was pressured to smooth over and ‘return to normal’ about within 2 years if not sooner.

I’m still bummed She-Hulk wasn’t “Law & Order: MCU” featuring such disputes as

  • A dog’s owner is snapped and someone else adopts it. Now it’s five years later and the owner wants the dog back.
  • A baby’s parents are snapped and someone else adopts it. Now its’ five years later and the kid is now 6. Absolutely fucking devastating custody dispute ensues.
  • All the snapped people were legally declared dead and their remaining next of kin got their assets. Now some of them are demanding their money back, but their heirs already spent it.
  • All the snapped people were not legally declared dead, and life insurance companies are still claiming that some people who actually died were snapped so that they don’t have to pay out.
  • These senators were elected to a 6 year term but they only got to serve one of them before blipping. They think they should get to serve the next five years.
  • School funding is based on enrollment, and was thus slashed when there was only half the student population. Now everyone is back midyear and there isn’t enough funding, and parents are suing.

Tags:

#Marvel #fanfic #story ideas I will never write #apocalypse cw #death tw #illness tw? #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once

bedlamsbard:

bedlamsbard:

bedlamsbard:

cause of death: trying to make the internal geography of Stark Tower make sense, something neither JW or the Russos attempted to do.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH EASIER THIS WOULD BE IF Y’ALL HAD JUST MADE UP A BUILDING FROM SCRATCH INSTEAD OF MAKING IT CANONICALLY THE METLIFE BUILDING WITH THE TOP WHACKED OFF

it’s fine! it’s fine! you could have at least filmed the lobby scene in the actual MetLife Building instead of in the Proscenium in Atlanta but it’s fine! I’ll make it work! I will ignore Endgame.

this is distracting me from the important task of having Loki fight the Destroyer

also Natasha rescuing Steve, I guess.

my attempts to make the tower in 2018 (Horizon) line up with both the tower in 2012 (Avengers) and alt!2012 (Endgame) as well as in 2015 (AoU) mean that I’m pretty sure this building is actively hostile to human life and the city of New York would cry tears of joy if someone accidentally knocked it down. The New York Department of City Planning, the MTA, ConEd, and the SI lawyers and architects have a support group.

normal fic writers: “he took the elevator from the lobby to the penthouse”
me:

There were ninety-eight elevators in Stark Tower, but only three of them went all the way from the ground floor up to the former Avengers levels of the tower, which took up the top thirty floors.  A quirk of the architecture meant that the SI architects hadn’t been able to completely fix meant that forty-one of those elevators only went up to the highest remaining levels of the old MetLife Building, two of which were service elevators. Twenty-seven went from the ground floor to various tower floors below the Avengers levels, while twenty-two went from the lowest tower level to the floor immediately below the Avengers level. Another five only covered the thirty floors of the Avengers levels.  The floor numbering began again on the tower levels, meaning that in 2013 someone had called it “the most confusing building in Manhattan.”  An elevator enthusiasts’ magazine had made Stark Tower its cover story two months before the Ultron fiasco.  Natasha hadn’t even known there were elevator enthusiasts.

“oh,” you say. “why did you say the floor numbering started over at the lowest tower level?”

Endgame. That’s why. that’s not the god damn fourteenth floor counting from the ground level.

baad73ee319404b2be85b2b569f26f0ccadbb27e
f7a7fc91bc25abcc8b03f75cddcc7084bd3243f1
95183576fd1c56cda46f4828cd50ec5d8e9555a7

also, comedy, and believe it or not this is actually useful to me for plot reasons, but also oh my god.

(”but it looks different in –” I looked at literally every depiction of Starkvengers Tower up to 2018 (MCU date); anything after that date doesn’t matter for my purposes.  I have thought more about this fucking building than anyone at Marvel Studios ever did.)


Tags:

#Marvel #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog

ironmanstan:

ironmanstan:

biallmeans:

ironmanstan:

tony stark didnt die until he was canonically established as spidermans father figure

The Parker curse

jake gyllenhaal: ive got you now, spider man! this is where you meet your end!

peter: youre like a father to me

jake gyllenhaal dying on the spot: what the fuck

spiderman been putting the ‘e’ in ‘dad’ for half a century


Tags:

#Marvel #death tw #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #puns

tanoraqui:

professorsparklepants:

Do you think that in the mcu verse there’s a magic tree house book where they meet Captain America

Soldiers at Sunset

What’s it like to meet a true hero? Jack and Annie find out when the latest book sends them back to World War II – right in the middle of Captain Steve Rogers and the Howling Commandos! But all is not going well on this mission. Bucky Barnes has been kidnapped by HYDRA…again! Can Jack and Annie help Captain America save his best friend?


Tags:

#fanfic #story ideas I will never write #crossovers #Magic Tree House #Marvel

bi-thor:

scott lang, completely misunderstanding peter parker’s power: hey if u want man we could get tiny and just like hang out, i don’t know if you’ve ever been in a lego castle but it’s pretty sweet

peter parker: u have no idea how much physical pain having to turn this offer down is causing me but,

 

north-star-lesbian:

Scott Lang, upon realizing Peter Parker can’t shrink: oh okay no biggee, we’ll just make the LEGO castle big

 

magical-awesome-kid:

Peter, ready to cry from joy: do you like Star Wars? Because I have a replica… and my friend Ned and I got it to fly…

Scott Lang, a mechanical engineer and nerd: kid you are my people

 

letitrainathousandflames:

Tony, calling peter: …and may I know WHY THE HELL IS SHIELD CALLING ME ABOUT A LIFE-SIZED DEATH STAR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT?!

Peter: we didn’t want it to crush any buildings so we brought it out here!

Tony: THATS N O T MY POINT!!!

 

gingersnapwolves:

#and then Tony wonders when the hell HE became the responsible one#and promptly abandons his responsibilities#and jumps in his armor#to go zoom around the life size death star#pretending he’s Luke doing the trench run (via)

 

153-centimeters-of-sass:

It got better!

 

aqueerkettleofish:

I was gonna SAY, Tony would fly out there, look at the thing, and go…. No, this isn’t life size. Impressive though. Okay, bugs, put on these helmets, we’re taking this into orbit and doing this at 1:1 scale.

 

joasakura:

Sam: Barnes is gonna make an awesome Chewbacca.

Bucky: -.-

 

iconuk01:

Guardians arriving back in Earth orbit for a visit:

Rocket : When the **** did Earth get another moon?

Peter Qull (with an indescribable look on his face, but knowing his entire life has built to this moment): That’s no moon!


Tags:

#Marvel #Star Wars #fanfic #it got better

sapphowo:

Peter: Hey, Mr Loki!

Loki: Greetings, Spider-Child.

Peter: Spider-Man.

Loki: But you are but a child!

Peter: N- no I’m not! I’m a man.

Loki: A man would have a vocabulary greater than just the words: ‘same’ and ‘mood’.

Peter: MOOD


Tags:

#Spiderman #Marvel #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

trickerydickerydock:

Anne: I’m so glad you guys are friends after that whole mess with Venom, it really means a lot to me :)

Dan: Well, Eddie’s a great guy, water under the bridge with the cannibal space goo deal, it’s good, it’s all good :)

Dan, last night: And this one is selling sugar pills as heart medication, and these are the guys behind the insulin pricing bullshit, and this one–

Eddie, loaded down with several files’ worth of malpractice: I see you have a passion here, Dan

Dan: I’m a fan of you for a reason, Eddie

Venom: Remember that time I apologized for strangling you? That again, but this time I mean it


Tags:

#Venom #violence mention #medical abuse mention #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog