Texts From Superheroes
#Marvel #X Men #fanfic #covid19 #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #illness tw?
tony stark didnt die until he was canonically established as spidermans father figure
The Parker curse
jake gyllenhaal: ive got you now, spider man! this is where you meet your end!
peter: youre like a father to me
jake gyllenhaal dying on the spot: what the fuck
spiderman been putting the ‘e’ in ‘dad’ for half a century
#Marvel #death tw #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #puns
Do you think that in the mcu verse there’s a magic tree house book where they meet Captain America
Soldiers at Sunset
What’s it like to meet a true hero? Jack and Annie find out when the latest book sends them back to World War II – right in the middle of Captain Steve Rogers and the Howling Commandos! But all is not going well on this mission. Bucky Barnes has been kidnapped by HYDRA…again! Can Jack and Annie help Captain America save his best friend?
#fanfic #story ideas I will never write #crossovers #Magic Tree House #Marvel
scott lang, completely misunderstanding peter parker’s power: hey if u want man we could get tiny and just like hang out, i don’t know if you’ve ever been in a lego castle but it’s pretty sweet
peter parker: u have no idea how much physical pain having to turn this offer down is causing me but,
Scott Lang, upon realizing Peter Parker can’t shrink: oh okay no biggee, we’ll just make the LEGO castle big
Peter, ready to cry from joy: do you like Star Wars? Because I have a replica… and my friend Ned and I got it to fly…
Scott Lang, a mechanical engineer and nerd: kid you are my people
Tony, calling peter: …and may I know WHY THE HELL IS SHIELD CALLING ME ABOUT A LIFE-SIZED DEATH STAR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT?!
Peter: we didn’t want it to crush any buildings so we brought it out here!
Tony: THATS N O T MY POINT!!!
#and then Tony wonders when the hell HE became the responsible one#and promptly abandons his responsibilities#and jumps in his armor#to go zoom around the life size death star#pretending he’s Luke doing the trench run (via)
It got better!
I was gonna SAY, Tony would fly out there, look at the thing, and go…. No, this isn’t life size. Impressive though. Okay, bugs, put on these helmets, we’re taking this into orbit and doing this at 1:1 scale.
Sam: Barnes is gonna make an awesome Chewbacca.
Guardians arriving back in Earth orbit for a visit:
Rocket : When the **** did Earth get another moon?
Peter Qull (with an indescribable look on his face, but knowing his entire life has built to this moment): That’s no moon!
#Marvel #Star Wars #fanfic #it got better
Peter: Hey, Mr Loki!
Loki: Greetings, Spider-Child.
Loki: But you are but a child!
Peter: N- no I’m not! I’m a man.
Loki: A man would have a vocabulary greater than just the words: ‘same’ and ‘mood’.
#Spiderman #Marvel #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
Anne: I’m so glad you guys are friends after that whole mess with Venom, it really means a lot to me :)
Dan: Well, Eddie’s a great guy, water under the bridge with the cannibal space goo deal, it’s good, it’s all good :)
Dan, last night: And this one is selling sugar pills as heart medication, and these are the guys behind the insulin pricing bullshit, and this one–
Eddie, loaded down with several files’ worth of malpractice: I see you have a passion here, Dan
Dan: I’m a fan of you for a reason, Eddie
Venom: Remember that time I apologized for strangling you? That again, but this time I mean it
#Venom #violence mention #medical abuse mention #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog
no offense but bucky not remembering what he does as the winter soldier makes his & sam’s rivalry so much funnier
sam: you know im STILL not over the time when you ripped out my car’s steering wheel!
bucky: the time i WHAT
sam increasingly realizes he can just say whatever tf he wants & bucky’ll be like
Sam: I can’t believe you stabbed Caesar
“I can’t believe you shot 2Pac”
This just keeps getting better and better
sam: it’s so fucked up how you assassinated JFK
bucky: this isn’t funny anymore, sam
steve: no… you actually did do that, buck.
#Marvel #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #amnesia cw #embarrassment squick #murder cw
Spider-Man trying to interact with the fourth wall even though he can’t see it because Deadpool keeps insisting it’s there in Spider-Man/Deadpool #42
#Spiderman #comic #Deadpool