indeed Socrates is said to have proposed that his ‘penalty’ for his conviction should be that he be dined at private expense like an Olympic victor for the rest of his life.

yeah I would have voted to poison this mf too


Same thing. You say poisoned, I say dined at public expense for the rest of his life.


#death tw #poison cw #fun with loopholes #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #light a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once





the difference between yugioh and magic the gathering (as someone who plays neither) is that a yugioh card says like “if you own a Blorbionicus the King of Red Eyes in your pendulum summon zone (but NOT your left pendulum summon zone) you can special summon (NOT ritual or zexal or pendulum summon) sixteen cards named Blorbimini (excluding Maid Blorbimini) to any zone EXCEPT the super double defense zone” and no one can explain this to me but meanwhile a magic the gathering card says “flying. after the end of your turn draw a card” and people are like oh those fools bc the action only goes on the stack after the end of your turn and because of the use of ‘your’ instead of ‘the owner’s’ and because mercury is in gatorade, technically it only resolves during the opponents third upkeep when explicitly you cant draw cards or else a sniper will shoot you


it is my understanding that because one instance of an ability says “when you tap this card you can gain one mana” and another says “tap this card to gain one mana” they are meaningfully distinct and the former may or may not be legally allowable in multiple situations that the latter clearly is (bc of the definitions of a Mana Ability). this has been explained to me and I even vaguely understand the reasons. i still think it is very fucking funny.

God, I hate that I actually know which card(s) this refers to.

Anyway, have one of my favorite images on the internet.


thank you so much I hate this. what do you MEAN +2 and -2 don’t cancel out,


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(honestly the single funniest part of this is ”mercury is in gatorade”) #Magic the Gathering #fun with loopholes #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once





smartphone storage plateauing in favor of just storing everything in the cloud is such dogshit. i should be able to have like a fucking terabyte of data on my phone at this point. i hate the fucking cloud

this is gonna make me sound very Old Man Yells At Cloud but i just hate how many things in my life assume i will always have access to a quick, reliable internet connection and almost cease to function without it. Obviously certain things Have To Have An Internet Connection, but i want to be able to listen to music if my service is bad. i want to still watch movies if Netflix is down. i want to have a working map when i can’t get a cell signal. nearly every tech product these days bears the fingerprint of the extremely internet-rich places they are developed, high rent offices in Seattle, San Francisco, etc.. I think often the idea of the internet not being available is so remote to them it doesn’t even factor in to development. i remember when the Xbox One was debuted and Microsoft was almost mockingly like “if you don’t have reliable fast internet, then don’t bother buying this”, and there was such backlash they completely went back on so much of that. But now that attitude is just the tech norm.

I don’t trust the cloud.

This makes me happy I don’t use my phone for going online

i mean you can get a terabyte phone but it costs like $1600 USD (give or take a couple hundred, idk, i’m not looking it up)

what really pisses me off is that the samsung flagship phones have completely phased out their sd card slots. you can’t get a cell phone with expandable storage anymore

Yeah, it’s such bullshit that it’s a whole ordeal to dig up a model with a microSD slot now.

I *do* have a 2020-model phone (a slightly different model of which is still in production) with a half-terabyte microSD† in it. (For CAD$155 instead of CAD$70 I could have gotten a full terabyte of microSD, but I didn’t have the budget. Mind you, I *could* upgrade later, without having to replace the whole phone…) But that’s because a microSD slot was my single highest priority when deciding what model to buy, absolutely non-negotiable: if I’d cared any less, I’d probably have ended up with a Pixel or a OnePlus.

Hmm, I wrote an extremely outdated guide to orienting your phone setup around not having reliable Internet access in 2015, and a substantially outdated guide in 2018, so it sounds like I’m due for another one. Be right back.

[three months of on-and-off tinkering later]

Okay, here’s “Tips on Offline-First Smartphones, 2023 Edition”.

†Some of the specs for that phone model you’ll see around will say it takes “up to 128 GB”, but don’t be fooled: 64 GB – 2 TB microSDs are the same backwards-compatibility tier. If a phone can take 32 GB, it might not be able to take 64, but if it can take 64 it can take 2048.


#reply via reblog #oh look an original post #disappointed permanent resident of The Future #Brin owns *two* 2010’s computers now #fun with loopholes #101 Uses for Infrastructureless Computers



Roll d10:

1-9: Item: a regular Butter Knife; can cut everything like butter, which is to say it cuts through anything that is similar to butter and nothing else.

10: Item: the Butter Knife; can cut everything like butter, as in through any substance with similar ease to that with which a normal knife can cut through butter.


#overly literal interpretations #fun with loopholes #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once


We got in a transport today from our rural shelter partners (history: pups abandoned on person’s property) and one was a 9 week old puppy with “a swollen face and unable to use his legs.” They thought she was sick with something.

The face is because she is a shar-pei mix


Though I admit she does look like she ate a spicy sky raisin, but she’s been like this for a week. It’s just her face.

The legs however…

I palpated one limb and felt a very thickened, broken femur, and on the other the femur as a whole had gone walkabout so I thought dislocated.

Vet agreed with me so we took rads.


I mean, that left leg is *technically* not dislocated. Technically. The break on the right is so old there’s nothing we can do.

Puppy is going to foster for a month to build muscle in the right leg to, and I quote my vet, “to give her a leg to stand on” since we will be amputating the left.

Also, how long do you think it will take the algorithm to incorrectly flag this?


She… she fucking rebuilt her femurs??? The one floating off into nowhere, the dog built a whole new femur and even a whole new greater trochanter????


Original rad on the left, most recent on the right.

Our vet sent the rads to her orthopedic surgery mentor and he responded with “ I believe in God now”

If you look closely, you can see that this dog is currently in possession of 3 whole femurs like a goddamned overachiever


@talesfromtreatment so what’re you gonna do with the extra femur? remove it?


Her body is actually already working at removing it via a process called remodeling. That’s why it has a more ‘ghostly’ appearance than the new femur that she built. In a few more months it will be gone entirely.


A collection of my favorite tags on this fabulous little creature and what a good job she did with her three (3) femurs.



#dogs #fun with loopholes #body horror #animal abuse cw? #aging cw? #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(”isnt this what happened w the tenth doctor”) #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once


Oh hell yes, poll results are now to tenths of a percent. But @staff can we pretty please have the raw counts?


wildgifthorses: I think you can get raw counts from the API

Yeah, and you can also get the vote percentages to six decimal places in web debugger, thanks to a truly wild web design choice:


Sticking the raw percentage directly into the width attribute is just a delightfully bonkers way to implement that, and I love it. And with six decimal places that’s enough to derive the raw count unless you go really mega-viral (and maybe even then it just adds more decimal places).

But it would be nice to have a way I can see right on the dash without having to tinker.


#The Great Tumblr Apocalypse #fun with loopholes #fun with statistics #the more you know






the thing with pokemon is they all stop at 3 dimensions.  there’s no 10-dimensional geodudes.  i know nothing of pokemon but i feel like i would’ve heard about it if there were hypergeodudes.  i have explicitly arranged my life such that if this were the case someone probably would’ve told me


#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #fun with loopholes #Dinosaur Comics #comics #(3.141592653589793238) #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #this post was queued because my to-reblog list is too long and I didn’t want to dump it on you all at once