#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #bugs #unsanitary cw? #death tw? #(I’d never heard of spotted lanternflies before) #(I looked it up and apparently my area’s winters are right in the grey area where spotted lanternflies can kind of sort of maybe overwinter) #(so I may or may not be seeing them soon) #((apparently they are known to fuck up apple trees‚ grapevines‚ and stonefruit trees))
“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.
going through my microsoft word archives is great fun because i always find the wildest shit in there and by “the wildest shit” i mean the time i tried to rewrite the entire bible from scratch at the age of eleven and a half
“And so Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden, and Eve turned to Adam and said, ‘Nice going, loser.‘”
iconic
whilst you were listening to avril lavigne, i learned the way of the Lord
I would read this in its entirety.
Tags:
#story ideas I will never write #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #death tw #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what
I thought about this recently when watching a great couple who loved each other very much. The wife said some kind of extremely mushy compliment to the husband about how much she loved him, and the husband joked something like “Oh, you always say that.” He maybe mildly appreciated the compliment, but they really were always saying incredibly nice things about how much they appreciated each other, to the point where it kind of started to sound kind of like background noise.
Suppose you reached the point where it sounded exactly like background noise. Your spouse could give you a dozen red roses and a sonnet about your many excellent qualities every day, and it wouldn’t update you at all. At that point, you either need to have the mysterious “companionate love” thing in place – something that isn’t based on reward prediction error – or you are doomed to never feel another positive emotion from your relationship at all.
the giant, who is constantly being high-intensity nice at me: Yeeaahh. I’ve thought about this. But… it’s so hard to NOT tell you how much I love you every time I see you.
me, in complete sincerity: So the problem is that the reward needs to be unpredictable, right? Here’s what I suggest – you keep a digital die roll website open in a pinned tab, roll it every time I come into the room, and –
the giant: No!!
me: [stricken by the irrationality of human beings]
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #fun with loopholes #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what
Welcome to the funniest set of memes I’ve ever seen thank you
Tags:
#gender #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #((this amusement not to be taken as expressing an opinion regarding the statement itself)) #(((more specifically‚ not to be taken as expressing an opinion regarding the particular paradigm of gender implied by these memes))) #(((I am aware of the existence of gender paradigms that think *both* transphobes *and* these memes are full of shit))) #(((but that’s way above my pay grade))) #(((regardless‚ that ”Pangea” one *is* hilarious))) #((((and to a lesser extent ”check out this cornfield”)))) #discourse cw #politics cw #cissexism cw
THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE (2010) — Robert Pattinson’s audio commentary with Kristen Stewart
#Twilight #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #food mention #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what
I’m trying to think up a response that even comes CLOSE to being as funny as this tag, but, for obvious reasons, I cannot
Tags:
#art #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #overly literal interpretations
1. Tim Rice wanted to write a musical about chess since he was born, but couldn’t figure out a high-stakes plotline. He was really excited when he learned about the Cold War.
2. Tim Rice wanted Andrew Lloyd Webber to help him write a musical about chess, but Andrew Lloyd Webber wanted Tim Rice to help him write a musical about cats. They both called each other fucking morons, and there was an intense stand-off where all the pent-up sexual tension came to a boiling point.
3. Hateful words were exchanged that day, words that were regretted the moment they were said but that could never be taken back, words like “you plagiarized every good bit of music you’ve written,” “you have never written a good lyric,” “your face looks like the word moist.”
4. .Tim Rice next turned to Stephen Sondheim, but Sondheim said he was in the middle of an adaptation of a Kaufman and Hart play with George Furth.
5. As a last resort, Tim Rice met with the Swedish pop group ABBA. Since chess does not exist in Sweden, they thought it was a game of Tim Rice’s own invention.
6. Musicals did not exist in Sweden either. ABBA thought Tim Rice was an eccentric genius inventing a whole new game game and a whole new genre of media just to showcase that game–or vice versa. They were eager to collaborate.
7. There was a legal dispute over some songs and lyrics that were stolen wholesale from March of the Falsettos such as “I’m Breaking Down” (sung by Florence), “This Had Better Come to a Stop” (sung by every character to Freddie) and, of course, “The Chess Game.” Even though March of the Falsettos wouldn’t be written for another 10 years, the ACLU got involved, and William Finn won.
8. Tim Rice and ABBA got along well, but Tim Rice missed Andrew Lloyd Webber. He longed for the days when they would put on top hats and coattails and stroll down the River Thames, tossing street urchins stale crusts of bread for a shoe shine. But neither would apologize for their words on that fateful day.
9. The book for the musical was turning out to be a major problem. It was not shaping up the way anyone wanted it to. Tim Rice refused to turn to Andrew Lloyd Webber to help. Instead, he sought the aid of numerous writers including William Goldman, Carrie Fisher, and Edward Norton, none of whom could help. “Go back to Andrew,” Carrie implored, “he misses you.” But there was too much pride at stake.
10. As of today, there are over 1,760 major rewrites and versions of Chess. None of them work.
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#unreality cw #Chess: the Musical #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #I don’t go here but ”your face looks like the word moist” is a hell of a line
Brinens and Things 