surprisebitch:

BABY Shark do do, do do do do

Baby shark do do, do do do do

Baby shark do do, do do do do

BABY SHARK

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influenzsa:

MAMA Shark do do, do do do do

Mama Shark do do, do do do do

Mama Shark do do, do do do do

MAMA SHARK

 

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planetben:

DADDY Shark do do, do do do do

Daddy Shark do do, do do do do

Daddy Shark do do, do do do do

DADDY SHARK

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gnarly-icarli:

GRANDMA Shark do do, do do do do

Grandma Shark do do, do do do do

Grandma Shark do do, do do do do

GRANDMA SHARK

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timberwolfalpha:

GRANDPA Shark do do, do do do do

Grandpa Shark do do, do do do do

Grandpa Shark do do, do do do do

GRANDPA SHARK

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ash-tonirwin:

LET’S GO HUNT do do, do do do do

Let’s go hunt do do, do do do do

Let’s go hunt do do, do do do do

LET’S GO HUNT

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antisocial-astronaut:

SWIM AWAY, doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo.

Swim away, doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo.

Swim away, doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo.

SWIM AWAY.

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literallyee-trash:

SAFE AT LAST, doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo

Safe at last, doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo

Safe at last, doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo

SAFE AT LAST

 

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iiredgm:

whoever doesn’t get this, you are missing out on life bro

 

rebel-against-myself:

I just sat there and sang the entire thing

 

maryellencarter:

I never heard this version! The version I know, after “grandpa shark”, it was “person swimming”, “shark attack”, “happy shark”.

I have done this song exactly once, and I have never been able to find anyone else doing anything close to the version that other Girl Guide troop taught us on that joint camping trip.

There was a lead-in about a couple going to the beach and swimming out into the ocean; I’m not sure how that part went exactly. It leads into the shark list with the line “Then they saw sharks”, though.

(Note that each line was only done once, not 3.5 times as in this thread.)

After the chorus is:

“So they swam back” [swimming motions with arms]
“Faster back” [faster swimming motions]
“Faster still” [even faster swimming motions]
“Not fast enough” [continue swimming, shake head “no”]
“They got a leg” [put one leg forward]
“Other leg” [step forward with other leg]
“And an arm” [hold out arm]
“Other arm” [both arms forward]
“And a head” [lean forward]
“And I was dead” [not sure about motion for this one]
[quietly] “And all were dead” [hold finger in front of mouth in “shh” gesture; “doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo” is subdued]
[quietly] “And all were dead” [ditto]
[big grin, normal volume] “Except the sharks!” [mama-shark clapping, because mama comes first in this version’s list]

(I think the shark order went “mama (horizontal clapping), papa or maybe daddy (vertical clapping), sister (diagonal clapping), baby (hand motions as if making a hand puppet talk; “doo doo”-ing is high-pitched), grandpa (place last knuckle of each finger against last knuckle of corresponding finger on other hand to evoke a mouth with no teeth left, make ‘talking’ motions; “doo doo”-ing is low-pitched and tries to sound old and toothless)”.)

And then you do the shark list again, and that’s how it ends.

It would be nice to refresh my memory on how that version went (though I’m kind of surprised by how much of it I *do* remember given that it was one time seven years ago), but I haven’t found anyone who knows what I’m talking about.


Tags:

#reply via reblog #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #(close enough) #my childhood #music #death tw #shark #long post #oral culture #amnesia cw?

I’m cleaning out my notepad program in preparation for a move to a new† laptop††, and I found this Tumblr draft dated March 10th, 2016.

One of the worst non-obvious things about prosopagnosia is that it *reduces the amount of serendipity in your life*.

All else equal, I have far fewer chance meetings with old friends and colleagues than a non-faceblind person would. I have witnessed my mother having chance meetings that I would not have had in her place. I abandoned Orphan Black partway through the first episode because it disturbed me too much, knowing that if they’d based the clones’ on *my* genetic structure instead of hers, the entire show would never have happened. Sarah and Beth would have walked right by each other and never known. How many plot hooks (let alone easter eggs) have I missed out on in my own personal narrative?

(I went bowling on my 22nd birthday. In the group playing on the lane next to my family, there was a girl who looked just like I would if I didn’t wear glasses. I assume it was a coincidence. I assume she was not a secret clone or long-lost twin. If I am wrong in that assumption, I will never find out. If one day I passed someone I assumed to be a stranger, and they were actually a former acquaintance who would have given me some life-changing piece of information had I struck up a conversation with them like old times, I will never find out. Almost certainly, I have at the very least passed by acquaintances who would have given me non-life-*changing* but life-*enhancing* pieces of information, had I only known it was them.)

(This post inspired by CORDYCEPS [link], another story whose plot is dependant on one person recognising another’s face. I like the mystery and I like Benedict’s writing, so I’ve been reading it anyway for now.)

†And by “new”, I mean “seven years old, but significantly higher-spec than my current seven-year-old laptop”. Dad’s laptop broke, so we agreed that I would buy a “new” one for me and hand my old one down to him. Back in the day, *I* used to get *his* hand-me-down computers, but my computer requirements have now outpaced his (fortunately not to the point where my usual laptop budget of ~USD$300 is an insufficient amount of money), so.

††My backups are generally pretty thorough, and it wouldn’t have been a disaster data-wise if I’d woken up this morning to find my laptop permanently unable to boot (which did happen to me one morning in my mid-teens! no warning, no particular reason AFAIK why that motherboard chose that night to fail, it just did!), but I’ve found a couple overlooked spots.


Tags:

#(I did finish Cordyceps) #(it was good if a bit horror-y for my tastes) #oh look an original post #prosopagnosia #amnesia cw? #cordyceps tcftog


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Dead Fandoms, Part 3

another-normal-anomaly:

vintagegeekculture:

Read Part One of Dead Fandoms here. 

Read Part Two of Dead Fandoms here. 

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Before we continue, I want to add the usual caveat that I actually don’t want to be right about these fandoms being dead. I like enthusiasm and energy and it’s a shame to see it vanish.

Mists of Avalon

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Remember that period of time of about 15 years, where absolutely everybody read this book and was obsessed with it? It could not have been bigger, and the fandom was Anne Rice huge, overlapping for several years with USENET and the early World Wide Web…but it’s since petered out. 

Mists of Avalon’s popularity may be due to the most excellent case of hitting a demographic sweet spot ever. The book was a feminist retelling of the Arthurian Mythos where Morgan Le Fay is the main character, a pagan from matriarchal goddess religions who is fighting against encroaching Christianity and patriarchal forms of society coming in with it. Also, it made Lancelot bisexual and his conflict is how torn he is about his attraction to both Arthur and Guinevere.

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Remember, this novel came out in 1983 – talk about being ahead of your time! If it came out today, the reaction from a certain corner would be something like “it is with a heavy heart that I inform you that tumblr is at it again.”

Man, demographically speaking, that’s called “nailing it.” It used to be one of the favorite books of the kind of person who’s bookshelf is dominated by fantasy novels about outspoken, fiery-tongued redheaded women, who dream of someday moving to Scotland, who love Enya music and Kate Bush, who sell homemade needlepoint stuff on etsy, who consider their religious beliefs neo-pagan or wicca, and who have like 15 cats, three of which are named Isis, Hypatia, and Morrigan.

This type of person is still with us, so why did this novel fade in popularity? There’s actually a single hideous reason: after her death around 2001, facts came out that Marion Zimmer Bradley abused her daughters sexually. Even when she was alive, she was known for defending and enabling a known child abuser, her husband, Walter Breen. To say people see your work differently after something like this is an understatement – especially if your identity is built around being a progressive and feminist author.

Robotech

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I try to break up my sections on dead fandoms into three parts: first, I explain the property, then explain why it found a devoted audience, and finally, I explain why that fan devotion and community went away. Well, in the case of Robotech, I can do all three with a single sentence: it was the first boy pilot/giant robot Japanimation series that shot for an older, teenage audience to be widely released in the West. Robotech found an audience when it was the only true anime to be widely available, and lost it when became just another import anime show. In the days of Crunchyroll, it’s really hard to explain what made Robotech so special, because it means describing a different world.

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Try to imagine what it was like in 1986 for Japanime fans: there were barely any video imports, and if you wanted a series, you usually had to trade tapes at your local basement club (they were so precious they couldn’t even be sold, only traded). If you were lucky, you were given a script to translate what you were watching. Robotech though, was on every day, usually after school. You want an action figure? Well, you could buy a Robotech Valkyrie or a Minmei figure at your local corner FAO Schwartz. 

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However, the very strategy that led to it getting syndicated is the very reason it was later vilified by the purists who emerged when anime became a widespread cultural force: strictly speaking, there actually is no show called “Robotech.” Since Japanese shows tend to be short run, say, 50-60 episodes, it fell well under the 80-100 episode mark needed for syndication in the US. The producer of Harmony Gold, Carl Macek, had a solution: he’d cut three unrelated but similar looking series together into one, called “Robotech.” The shows looked very similar, had similar love triangles, used similar tropes, and even had little references to each other, so the fit was natural. It led to Robotech becoming a weekday afternoon staple with a strong fandom who called themselves “Protoculture Addicts.” There were conventions entirely devoted to Robotech. The supposed shower scene where Minmei was bare-breasted was the barely whispered stuff of pervert legend in pre-internet days. And the tie in novels, written with the entirely western/Harmony Gold conception of the series and which continued the story, were actually surprisingly readable.

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The final nail in the coffin of Robotech fandom was the rise of Sailor Moon, Toonami, Dragonball, and yes, Pokemon (like MC Hammer’s role in popularizing hip hop, Pokemon is often written out of its role in creating an audience for the next wave of cartoon imports out of insecurity). Anime popularity in the West can be defined as not a continuing unbroken chain like scifi book fandom is, but as an unrelated series of waves, like multiple ancient ruins buried on top of each other (Robotech was the vanguard of the third wave, as Anime historians reckon); Robotech’s wave was subsumed by the next, which had different priorities and different “core texts.” Pikachu did what the Zentraedi and Invid couldn’t do: they destroyed the SDF-1.

Legion of Super-Heroes

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Legion of Superheroes was comic set in the distant future that combined superheroes with space opera, with a visual aesthetic that can best be described as “Star Trek: the Motion Picture, if it was set in a disco.” 

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I’ve heard wrestling described as “a soap opera for men.” If that’s the case, then Legion of Super-Heroes was a soap opera for nerds. The book is about attractive 20-somethings who seem to hook up all the time. As a result, it had a large female fanbase, which, I cannot stress enough, is incredibly unusual for this era in comics history. And if you have female fans, you get a lot of shipping and slashfic, and lots of speculation over which of the boy characters in the series is gay. The fanon answer is Element Lad, because he wore magenta-pink and never had a girlfriend. (Can’t argue with bulletproof logic like that.) In other words, it was a 1970s-80s fandom that felt much more “modern” than the more right-brained, bloodless, often anal scifi fandoms that existed around the same time, where letters pages were just nitpicking science errors by model train and elevator enthusiasts.

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Legion Headquarters seemed to be a rabbit fuck den built around a supercomputer and Danger Room. Cosmic Boy dressed like Tim Curry in Rocky Horror. There’s one member, Duo Damsel, who can turn into two people, a power that, in the words of Legion writer Jim Shooter, was “useful for weird sex…and not much else.”

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LSH was popular because the fans were insanely horny.

This is, beyond the shadow of a doubt, the thirstiest fandom of all time.

 You might think I’m overselling this, but I really think that’s an under-analyzed part of how some kinds of fiction build a devoted fanbase.  

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For example, a big reason for the success of Mass Effect is that everyone has a favorite girl or boy, and you have the option to romance them. Likewise, everyone who was a fan of Legion remembers having a crush. Sardonic Ultra Boy for some reason was a favorite among gay male nerds (aka the Robert Conrad Effect). Tall, blonde, amazonian telepath Saturn Girl, maybe the first female team leader in comics history, is for the guys with backbone who prefer Veronica over Betty. Shrinking Violet was a cute Audrey Hepburn type. And don’t forget Shadow Lass, who was a blue skinned alien babe with pointed ears and is heavily implied to have an accent (she was Aayla Secura before Aayla Secura was Aayla Secura). Light Lass was commonly believed to be “coded lesbian” because of a short haircut and her relationships with men didn’t work out. The point is, it’s one thing to read about the adventures of a superteam, and it implies a totally different level of mental and emotional involvement to read the adventures of your imaginary girlfriend/boyfriend.  

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Now, I should point out that of all the fandoms I’ve examined here, LSH was maybe the smallest. Legion was never a top seller, but it was a favorite of the most devoted of fans who kept it alive all through the seventies and eighties with an energy and intensity disproportionate to their actual numbers. My gosh, were LSH fans devoted! Interlac and Legion Outpost were two Legion fanzines that are some of the most famous fanzines in comics history.

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If nerd culture fandoms were drugs, Star Wars would be alcohol, Doctor Who would be weed, but Legion of Super-Heroes would be injecting heroin directly into your eyeballs. Maybe it is because the Legionnaires were nerdy, too: they played Dungeons and Dragons in their off time (an escape, no doubt, from their humdrum, mundane lives as galaxy-rescuing superheroes). There were sometimes call outs to Monty Python. Basically, the whole thing had a feel like the dorkily earnest skits or filk-singing at a con. Legion felt like it’s own fan series, guest starring Patton Oswalt and Felicia Day.

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It helped that the boundary between fandom and professional was incredibly porous. For instance, pro-artist Dave Cockrum did covers for Legion fanzines. Former Legion APA members Todd and Mary Biernbaum got a chance to actually write Legion, where, with the gusto of former slashfic writers given the keys to canon, their major contribution was a subplot that explicitly made Element Lad gay. Mike Grell, a professional artist who got paid to work on the series, did vaguely porno-ish fan art. Again, it’s hard to tell where the pros started and the fandom ended; the inmates were running the asylum.

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Mostly, Legion earned this devotion because it could reward it in a way no other comic could. Because Legion was not a wide market comic but was bought by a core audience, after a point, there were no self-contained one-and-done Legion stories. In fact, there weren’t even really arcs as we know it, which is why Legion always has problems getting reprinted in trade form. Legion was plotted like a daytime soap opera: there were always five different stories going on in every issue, and a comic involved cutting between them. Sure, like daytime soap operas, there’s never a beginning, just endless middles, so it was totally impossible for a newbie to jump on board…but soap operas know what they are doing: long term storytelling rewards a long term reader.

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This brings me to today, where Legion is no longer being published by DC. There is no discussion about a movie or TV revival. This is amazing. Comics are a world where the tiniest nerd groups get pandered to: Micronauts, Weirdworld, Seeker 3000, and Rom have had revival series, for pete’s sake. It’s incredible there’s no discussion of a film or TV treatment, either; friggin Cyborg from New Teen Titans is getting a solo movie. 

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Why did Legion stop being such a big deal? Where did the fandom that supported it dissolve to? One word: X-Men. Legion was incredibly ahead of its time. In the 60s and 70s, there were barely any “fan” comics, since superhero comics were like animation is today: mostly aimed at kids, with a minority of discerning adult/teen fans, and it was success among kids, not fans, that led to something being a top seller (hence, “fan favorites” in the 1970s, as surprising as it is to us today, often did not get a lot of work, like Don MacGregor or Barry Smith). But as newsstands started to push comics out, the fan audience started to get bigger and more important…everyone else started to catch up to the things that made Legion unique: most comics started to have attractive people who paired up into couples and/or love triangles, and featured extremely byzantine long term storytelling. If Legion of Super-Heroes is going to be remembered for anything, it’s for being the smaller scale “John the Baptist” to the phenomenon of X-Men, the ultimate “fan” comic.

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The other thing that killed Legion, apart from Marvel’s Merry Mutants, that is, was the r-word: reboots. A reboot only works for some properties, but not others. You reboot something when you want to find something for a mass audience to respond to, like with Zorro, Batman, or Godzilla.

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Legion, though, was not a comic for everybody, it was a fanboy/girl comic beloved by a niche who read it for continuing stories and minutiae (and to jack off, and in some cases, jill off). Rebooting a comic like that is a bad idea. You do not reboot something where the main way you engage with the property, the greatest strength, is the accumulated lore and history. Rebooting a property like that means losing the reason people like it, and unless it’s something with a wide audience, you only lose fans and won’t get anything in return for it. So for something like Legion (small fandom obsessed with long form plots and details, but unlike Trek, no name recognition) a reboot is the ultimate Achilles heel that shatters everything, a self-destruct button they kept hitting over and over and over until there was nothing at all left.

E. E. Smith’s Lensman Novels

The Lensman series is like Gil Evans’s jazz: it’s your
grandparents’ favorite thing that you’ve never heard of. 

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I mean, have you ever wondered exactly what scifi fandom talked about before the rise of the major core texts and cultural objects (Star Trek, Asimov, etc)? Well, it was this. Lensmen was the subject of fanfiction mailed in manilla envelopes during the 30s, 40s, and 50s (some of which are still around). If you’re from Boston, you might recognize that the two biggest and oldest scifi cons there going back to the 1940s, Boskone (Boscon, get it?) and Arisia, are references to the Lensman series. This series not only created space opera as we know it, but contributed two of the biggest visuals in scifi, the interstellar police drawn from different alien species, and space marines in power armor.

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My favorite sign of how big this series was and how fans responded to it, was a great wedding held at Worldcon that duplicated Kimball Kinnison and Clarissa’s wedding on Klovia. This is adorable:

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The basic story is pure good vs. evil: galactic civilization faces a crime and piracy wave of unprecedented proportions from technologically advanced pirates (the memory of Prohibition, where criminals had superior firearms and faster cars than the cops, was strong by the mid-1930s). A young officer, Kimball Kinnison (who speaks in a Stan Lee esque style of dialogue known as “mid-century American wiseass”), graduates the academy and is granted a Lens, an object from an ancient mystery civilization, who’s true purpose is unknown.

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Lensman Kinnison discovers that the “crime wave” is actually a hostile invasion and assault by a totally alien culture that is based on hierarchy, intolerant of failure, and at the highest level, is ruled by horrifying nightmare things that breathe freezing poison gases. Along the way, he picks up allies, like van Buskirk, a variant human space marine from a heavy gravity planet who can do a standing jump of 20 feet in full space armor, Worsel, a telepathic dragon warrior scientist with the technical improvisation skills of MacGyver (who reads like the most sadistically minmaxed munchkinized RPG character of all time), and Nandreck, a psychologist from a Pluto-like planet of selfish cowards.

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The scale of the conflict starts small, just skirmishes with pirates, but explodes to near apocalyptic dimensions. This series has space battles with millions of starships emerging from hyperspacial tubes to attack the ultragood Arisians, homeworld of the first intelligent race in the cosmos. By the end of the fourth book, there are mind battles where the reflected and parried mental beams leave hundreds of innocent bystanders dead. In the meantime we get evil Black Lensmen, the Hell Hole in Space, and superweapons like the Negasphere and the Sunbeam, where an entire solar system was turned into a vacuum tube.

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It’s not hard to understand why Lensmen faded in importance. While the alien Lensmen had lively psychologies, Lensman Kimball Kinnison was not an interesting person, and that’s a problem when scifi starts to become more about characterization. The Lensman books, with their love of police and their sexism (it is an explicit plot point that the Lens is incompatible with female minds – in canon there are no female Lensmen) led to it being judged harshly by the New Wave writers of the 1960s, who viewed it all as borderline fascist military-scifi establishment hokum, and the reputation of the series never recovered from the spirit of that decade.

Prisoner of Zenda

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Prisoner of Zenda is a novel about a roguish con-man who visits a postage-stamp, charmingly picturesque Central European kingdom with storybook castles, where he finds he looks just like the local king and is forced to pose as him in palace intrigues. It’s a swashbuckling story about mistaken identity, swordfighting, and intrigue, one part swashbuckler and one part dark political thriller.

The popularity of this book predates organized fandom as we know it, so I wonder if “fandom” is even the right word to use. All the same, it inspired fanatical dedication from readers. There was such a popular hunger for it that an entire library could be filled with nothing but rip-offs of Prisoner of Zenda. If you have a favorite writer who was active between 1900-1950, I guarantee he probably wrote at least one Prisoner of Zenda rip-off (which is nearly always the least-read book in his oeuvre). The only novel in the 20th Century that inspired more imitators was Sherlock Holmes. Robert Heinlein and Edmond “Planet Smasher” Hamilton wrote scifi updates of Prisoner of Zenda. Doctor Who lifted the plot wholesale for the Tom Baker era episode, “Androids of Tara,” Futurama did this exact plot too, and even Marvel Comics has its own copy of Ruritania, Doctor Doom’s Kingdom of Latveria. Even as late as the 1980s, every kids’ cartoon did a “Prisoner of Zenda” episode, one of the stock plots alongside “everyone gets hit by a shrink ray” and the Christmas Carol episode.

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Prisoner of Zenda imitators were so numerous, that they even have their own Library of Congress sub-heading, of “Ruritanian Romance.” 

One major reason that Prisoner of Zenda fandom died off is that, between World War I and World War II, there was a brutal lack of sympathy for anything that seemed slightly German, and it seems the incredibly Central European Prisoner of Zenda was a casualty of this. Far and away, the largest immigrant group in the United States through the entire 19th Century were Germans, who were more numerous than Irish or Italians. There were entire cities in the Midwest that were two-thirds German-born or German-descent, who met in Biergartens and German community centers that now no longer exist.

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Kurt Vonnegut wrote a lot about how the German-American world he grew up in vanished because of the prejudice of the World Wars, and that disappearance was so extensive that it was retroactive, like someone did a DC comic-style continuity reboot where it all never happened: Germans, despite being the largest immigrant group in US history, are left out of the immigrant story. The “Little Bohemias” and “Little Berlins” that were once everywhere no longer exist. There is no holiday dedicated to people of German ancestry in the US, the way the Irish have St. Patrick’s Day or Italians have Columbus Day (there is Von Steuben’s Day, dedicated to a general who fought with George Washington, but it’s a strictly Midwest thing most people outside the region have never heard of, like Sweetest Day). If you’re reading this and you’re an academic, and you’re not sure what to do your dissertation on, try writing about the German-American immigrant world of the 19th and 20th Centuries, because it’s a criminally under-researched topic.

A. Merritt

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Pop quiz: who was the most popular and influential fantasy author during the 1930s and 40s? 

If you answered Tolkien or Robert E. Howard, you’re wrong – it was actually Abraham Merritt. He was the most popular writer of his age of the kind of fiction he did, and he’s since been mostly forgotten. Gary Gygax, creator of Dungeons and Dragons, has said that A. Merritt was his favorite fantasy and horror novelist.

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Why did A. Merritt and his fandom go away, when at one point, he was THE fantasy author? Well, obviously one big answer was the 1960s counterculture, which brought different writers like Tolkien and Lovecraft to the forefront (by modern standards Lovecraft isn’t a fantasy author, but he was produced by the same early century genre-fluid effluvium that produced Merritt and the rest). The other answer is that A. Merritt was so totally a product of the weird occult speculation of his age that it’s hard to even imagine him clicking with audiences in other eras. His work is based on fringe weirdness that appealed to early 20th Century spiritualism and made sense at the time: reincarnation, racial memory, an obsession with lost race stories and the stone age, and weirdness like the 1920s belief that the Polar Arctic is the ancestral home of the Caucasian race. In other words, it’s impossible to explain Merritt without a ton of sentences that start with “well, people in the 1920s thought that…” That’s not a good sign when it comes to his universality. 

That’s it for now. Do you have any suggestions on a dead fandom, or do you keep one of these “dead” fandoms alive in your heart?

I’m still in the Lensman fandom! It’s trash, but it’s *my* trash.


Tags:

#interesting #long post #history #the more you know #(I’d vaguely heard of Mists of Avalon and I’d heard the name of Lensman but that was about it) #I recommend the other posts in the series too #there is probably some warning tag I should put on this but I am not sure what

{{previous post in sequence}}


brin-bellway:

brin-bellway:

brin-bellway:

I’ve been doing archiving again today, downloading local copies of things that previously existed (in versions accessible to me) only on the Internet.

The thing about archiving is that it *hurts*. Not having done it–the moment when you want to remind yourself how something went and find it isn’t there to tell you, will never be there again–hurts a lot more, so I keep doing this. My past is valuable to me and I want to keep hold of it, have it available, and yet it always hurts to immerse myself in it.

(Today I’m saving works of fiction, works I think I would miss if their links rotted. (Some of them have already rotted. Most were salvageable through the Internet Archive. But only most.) I didn’t think that would hurt, but it turns out that it does, that they evoke the time periods I read them in.)

I know a lot of people hate their past selves, for their ignorance and foolishness. I think this is another version of that impulse, but I don’t hate past-me.

I don’t hate *her*. I hate the people who did this to her.

I think that’s a lot of the problem. I think maybe a lot of the pain of archiving isn’t inherent to the task in general, but because most of the stuff I’m archiving–this project and previous projects–is from around my late teens, give or take, and I was in a lot of pain then. A lot of it I hardly acknowledged at the time, or if I acknowledged it I shrugged and figured that was just how things were.

Maybe it’s good for me to immerse myself in the past, sometimes, if only to show myself how far I’ve come.

aaaaaaaahhhhh

I have reached a series that–while it has many good parts, and I still have plans to finish reading it someday–also brings up a whole lot of baggage

and a large part of the baggage is feeling like I’m not allowed to complain about it

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

#I can’t even really get angry at anyone involved, #the worst part is knowing they weren’t even wrong to do it, #knowing I really *didn’t* deserve consideration,

no, you know what? that’s not quite true

yeah, I didn’t deserve *full* consideration, and yeah even if they’d done everything right I’d probably still have felt subjectively (unreasonably) betrayed, but I deserved more consideration than I got

everyone deserved it

because you know what? even if they didn’t recognise it as erotic, even if they didn’t even recognise it as *trance*, they still sprung a “““vicarious relaxation exercise””” on people without content warnings

honestly in some ways that’s *worse* for other people than it is for me, *I* realised what they were doing three paragraphs in, most people straight up *don’t have* “this story is attempting to hypnotise the reader” alarms in their brain and so it couldn’t have set those alarms off

@injygo replied:

that’s horrible and i am really upset that anyone would write that now

people should warn for hypno type things

i once went to a concert thing where they did a “relaxation exercise” and it triggered the fuck out of me and caused a meltdown

and this could have been alleviated by providing a content warning

 

The good news is, I went back and checked and they’ve since added a content warning to the beginning of the fic (continuing to refer to it as a “vicarious relaxation exercise”, but I suppose that’s probably enough to be getting on with). It looks like they added that in response to the comment I left when I first read it.

I hope that reassures you. I know *I* find it reassuring, that my comment actually accomplished something useful and wasn’t just me barging in somewhere and making people uncomfortable.


Tags:

#(I don’t know how uncomfortable they actually found it) #(it’s partly the anxiety talking) #replies #sexuality and lack thereof #amnesia cw? #(for first post in chain) #vagueblogging

{{previous post in sequence}}


brin-bellway:

I’ve been doing archiving again today, downloading local copies of things that previously existed (in versions accessible to me) only on the Internet.

The thing about archiving is that it *hurts*. Not having done it–the moment when you want to remind yourself how something went and find it isn’t there to tell you, will never be there again–hurts a lot more, so I keep doing this. My past is valuable to me and I want to keep hold of it, have it available, and yet it always hurts to immerse myself in it.

(Today I’m saving works of fiction, works I think I would miss if their links rotted. (Some of them have already rotted. Most were salvageable through the Internet Archive. But only most.) I didn’t think that would hurt, but it turns out that it does, that they evoke the time periods I read them in.)

I know a lot of people hate their past selves, for their ignorance and foolishness. I think this is another version of that impulse, but I don’t hate past-me.

I don’t hate *her*. I hate the people who did this to her.

I think that’s a lot of the problem. I think maybe a lot of the pain of archiving isn’t inherent to the task in general, but because most of the stuff I’m archiving–this project and previous projects–is from around my late teens, give or take, and I was in a lot of pain then. A lot of it I hardly acknowledged at the time, or if I acknowledged it I shrugged and figured that was just how things were.

Maybe it’s good for me to immerse myself in the past, sometimes, if only to show myself how far I’ve come.

aaaaaaaahhhhh

I have reached a series that–while it has many good parts, and I still have plans to finish reading it someday–also brings up a whole lot of baggage

and a large part of the baggage is feeling like I’m not allowed to complain about it

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh


Tags:

#vagueblogging #I can’t even really get angry at anyone involved #the worst part is knowing they weren’t even wrong to do it #knowing I really *didn’t* deserve consideration #oh look an update #amnesia cw? #sexuality and lack thereof


{{next post in sequence}}

copperbadge:

So, once upon a time I said, “If you can’t tell Captain America what you’re doing, you probably shouldn’t be doing it” and it inspired a poem by Catt Kingsgrave (aka theactualcluegirl​) which eventually led to this pre-release rough-draft single, The Ballad Of Captain America’s Disapproving Face (also available for listening here on SoundCloud). 

I guarantee you will never laugh this hard at any other song that opens with a riff on the Star Spangled Banner. Also there is, if I’m not mistaken, a kazoo cover of Star Spangled Man involved. 

Anyhow, Murder Ballads is working on an album, and if you like the song, consider throwing a few bucks their way to help get their album made.

(The accompanying image up there is by the astonishing Frogbillgo, but is not associated officially with the album.)

 

stoatsandwich:

This has come across my dash a number of times and I’ve never listened because I’m usually doing my Tumbling in circumstances when it would be inconvenient (either because everyone else is asleep or because I’m doing it in 15-second increments while also cooking and ensuring the kid doesn’t jump out the window), but I finally made the time and I do not regret it. Listen to this. Listen to it again. Giggle. I did.

 

captainamerisarah:

Ladies and Gentleman And All,

My actual face trying to keep my shit together at work while listening:

 

tumblr_inline_nkcces99bv1qjrc3e

 

rembrandtswife:

This is *always* worth a reblog. Especially with omg-face pics attached. Yes, that *is* a kazoo cover of “Star-Spangled Man with a Plan” during the bridge.

 

daredevilmeme:

Makes absolute and perfect sense to me!

 

scarletmemewitch:

i feel guilty just listening to this and i haven’t even done anything wrong today!

 

d-lewis-avengerwrangler:

Maybe it’s my general apathy towards campy music, or maybe it’s the immunity to Disapproving Looks that I’ve developed over the years, but I’m not really feeling convicted or whatever.

Maybe it needs more cowbell?

 

memecaptainsteverogers:

tumblr_inline_ogozg9wrpi1r9b28i_540

 

daredevilmeme:

Well, I thought it was hilarious.

 

scarletmemewitch:

yeah. that disappointed face

steve, i’m sorry for everything


Tags:

#Marvel #music #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #scrupulosity tw? #amnesia cw?

Harry Potter and How the Scene Should Have Gone

argyle-s:

Umbridge: Mr. Potter, do you expect to be attacked in my class?

Harry: Yes.

Umbridge: What?

Harry: Well, I mean, I’m running four for four.

Umbridge: Mr. Potter-

Harry: Quirrel tried to choke me out.

Umbridge: Mr. Potter-

Harry: And Lockhart tried to wipe my memory.

Umbridge: Mr. Potter-

Harry: Of course, Professor Lupin didn’t mean it. He just forgot his potion, but still, totally went werewolf on me.

Umbridge: MR. POTTER-

Harry: And then Moody turned out to be an escaped Death Eater in disguise.

Umbridge: POTTER!

Harry: So, yeah, I figure it’s 100% you’ll attack me in June, 50/50 you’ll try to kill me, with a 25% chance of an Unforgivable curse.

Harry: (Turns to Hermione)

Harry: Did I get the math right?

Hermione: Yes.


Tags:

#Harry Potter #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog

INVENTORY

somnilogical:

CONTAINERS

room (container)
bathroom (container)
backpack (container) (me)

drug bag (container) (backpack)
misc bag (container) (backpack)
liquids bag (container) (backpack)
sleeve for papers (container) (backpack)
wallet (container) (backpack)

plastic bags, small (finite) (container) (misc bag) (backpack)
daily pillbox (container) (drug bag) (backpack)

hamper (container) (room)
simple bag (container) (room) (NIX)
green suitcase (container) (room)
red suitcase (container) (room)
trashcan (container) (room) (NIX)
document organizer (container) (room)
passport+birth certificate binder (container) (room)
lego bag (container) (room) (NIX)

ME

watch (me)
phone (me)
earphones (me)
credit card (me)
clipper card (me)

CLOTHES

hiking shoes (attire) (room)
sandals (attire) (room)

socks (attire) (x?) (room) (red suitcase)
underwear (attire) (x6) (room) (red suitcase) (red suitcase)
bra (attire) (girl) (room) (red suitcase)
black dress, polish (attire) (girl) (room) (red suitcase)
black dress, business (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl)
black shirt, polyester (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl) (conifer) (upskuttle)
brown pants, cotton (room) (red suitcase) (attire)
boxers (x2) (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (upskuttle) (NIX)
skirt, koi gift (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl)
sports bra (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl)
blue dress, patterned (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl)
black warm thing with long sleeves (room) (red suitcase) (attire)
pajama pants (room) (red suitcase) (attire)
skirt, blue (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl)
shirt, math (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (conifer) (upskuttle)
shirt, “HIRED” (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (upskuttle) (NIX)
trenchcoat-ish, cotton (room) (red suitcase) (attire)
fidget toy (room) (red suitcase)
lipstick, pink (room) (red suitcase) (girl)
leggings, blue (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl) (upskuttle) (NIX)
longsleeve shirt, purple (room) (red suitcase) (attire)
longsleeve shirt, grey, buttons (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (conifer) (upskuttle) (NIX)
hoodie, grey (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (lol trans)
skirt, purple (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl)
gloves, black (x2) (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (NIX) (REPLACE W/ GLOVES THAT WORK ON TOUCHSCREEN)
trenchcoat string, polyester? (room) (red suitcase) (attire)
inserts (x2) (room) (red suitcase) (girl) (attire)
not-a-kimono (room) (red suitcase) (attire)
grey pants, nylon (room) (red suitcase) (attire)
grey pants, cotton (room) (red suitcase) (attire)
girl swimsuit (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl)

vest, blue (room) (red suitcase) (attire)
blue dress, cotton (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl)
shirt, grey (room) (red suitcase) (attire)
shirt, green (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl)
longsleeve shirt, grey (room) (red suitcase) (attire)
cool fucking patterned shirt thing (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (lol trans)
skirt, black, long (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl)
longsleeve shirt, cyan (room) (red suitcase) (attire)
pants, sparkly (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (lol trans)
trenchcoat, the rainproof one (room) (red suitcase) (attire)
shirt, striped (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (conifer) (upskuttle) (NIX)
leggings, red (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl)
skirt, red (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl)
skirt, black, short (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl)
skirt, blue, patterned (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl)
leggings, black, patterned (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl)
short shorts, pink (room) (red suitcase) (attire) (girl)
jeans (room) (red suitcase) (attire)
shirt, dark blue (room) (red suitcase) (attire)

black boyshorts (room) (red suitcase) (attire)

DRUGS

modafinil (drug) (finite) (drug bag) (backpack)
gabapentin (drug) (finite) (drug bag) (backpack)
propranolol (drug) (finite) (drug bag) (backpack)
melatonin (drug) (finite) (drug bag) (backpack)
estradiol (drug) (finite) (drug bag) (girl) (backpack) (pillbox)
progesterone (drug) (finite) (drug bag) (girl) (backpack) (pillbox)
spironolactone (drug) (finite) (drug bag) (girl) (backpack) (pillbox)
ibuprofen (drug) (finite) (drug bag) (backpack)
focalin xr (drug) (finite) (drug bag) (backpack)
testosterone (drug) (finite) (drug bag) (backpack)
phenibut (drug) (finite) (drug bag) (backpack)
dhea (drug) (finite) (drug bag) (backpack) (room)
nicotine (drug) (finite) (drug bag) (backpack)
caffeine (drug) (finite) (drug bag) (backpack)
escitalopram (drug) (finite) (drug bag) (backpack) (room)
l-theanine powder (drug) (finite) (backpack)
grapefruit juice (drug) (finite) (room) (NIX)
acetaminophen+aspirin+caffeine (drug) (finite) (drug bag) (backpack)

MISC BAG

sticky notes (finite) (misc bag) (backpack)
hair ties (finite) (x?) (misc bag) (backpack) (room)
razor heads (finite) (subscribed) (misc bag) (backpack)

external battery, small (misc bag) (backpack)
earplugs (x?) (misc bag) (backpack)
pens (x3) (misc bag) (backpack)
tampon (misc bag) (backpack) (girl)
pad (misc bag) (backpack) (girl)
nail polish, sparkly (misc bag) (backpack)
key lanyard (misc bag) (backpack)
condoms (x?) (misc bag) (backpack)
lighter (misc bag) (backpack)
metal razor handle (misc bag) (backpack)
usb thumb drives (x2) (misc bag) (backpack)
micro sd to sd converter (misc bag) (backpack)
d20 die (misc bag) (backpack)

LIQUIDS BAG

deodorant (finite) (liquids bag) (backpack)
shaving cream (finite) (liquids bag) (backpack)
toothpaste (finite) (liquids bag) (backpack)
sunscreen (finite) (liquids bag) (backpack)
lip balm (finite) (liquids bag) (backpack)
lip gloss, clear (finite) (liquids bag) (backpack) (girl)
lip gloss, brown (finite) (liquids bag) (backpack) (girl)
lipstick, purple (finite) (liquids bag) (backpack) (girl)
foundation (finite) (liquids bag) (backpack) (girl)

BACKPACK

laptop (backpack) (room)
laptop fan (backpack) (room)
laptop charger (backpack) (room)
kindle (backpack) (room)
kindle case (backpack) (room)
soylent (finite) (subscribed) (room) (backpack)

external battery, large (backpack)
usb-to-wall (x2) (backpack)
micro usb to usb (x2) (backpack)

ROOM

all-purpose cleaner (finite) (room) (upskuttle)
hand sanitizer (finite) (room) (upskuttle)
detergent (finite) (room) (upskuttle) (conifer)

the dragons of eden, carl sagan (room) (book) (NIX) (UNNIX, library book)
childhood’s end, arthur c. clarke (room) (book) (NIX) (UNNIX, library book)
early works, winsor mccay (room) (book) (NIX)
salvaged pages young writers’ diaries of the holocaust, alexandra zapruder (room) (book) (NIX)
the value of science essential writings of henri poincare, henri poincare (room) (book) (NIX)
japan from prehistory to modern times, john whitney hall (room) (book) (NIX)
improving nature? the science and ethics of genetic engineering, michael j reiss (room) (book) (NIX)

power strip (room)
timer (room) (conifer)
vibrator (red suitcase) (room)
x-files cd (room) (NIX)
ramen maker (room) (upskuttle) (conifer)
sleep mask (room)
umbrella (room) (upskuttle)
20q game (room) (upskuttle)
hangers (x5) (room) (upskuttle) (conifer) (NIX)
towel (x2) (room) (red suitcase) (red suitcase) (nix one)
hand towel (room) (red suitcase) (NIX)
broom (room) (upskuttle) (conifer)
dustpan (room) (conifer)
blanket (room)
bedsheets (x?) (room)
sleeping bag (room) (NIX) (conifer don’t nix)
passport (room) (passport+birth certificate binder)
birth certificate (room) (passport+birth certificate binder)
pill bottles, empty (room) (NIX)
legos, misc (lego bag) (room) (NIX)
lego millennium falcon (room) (jade’s)

BATHROOM

toilet paper (finite) (bathroom) (NEED TO GET) (NIX)
soap (finite) (bathroom) (NIX)
shampoo (finite) (bathroom) (NIX)
conditioner (finite) (bathroom) (NIX)

 

somnilogical:

does anyone know of a program that would give a nice gui to my .txt files like this which are basically just lists with tags?

i am making this inventory because i am moving (i am not sure where to but the landlord is predictably kicking everyone out of the drugs sex and violence house by the end of this month) and want to be able to:

(1) keep track of things when i move

(2) be able to notice patterns without laying all my clothes out

(3) be able to push symbols around and mark things that need to be updated or refactored into different containers

(4) reify useful categories like “containers” and “misc bag” which organize my thinking

(5) this is under (2) but more specifically I’d like to be able to not rely on my brains inconsistent association network/memory. why actually search my memory or my actual bag for what’s in my “misc bag” when i can pull out my phone and hit the “misc bag” tag? why query my brain for a list of “containers” when it will often leave out the object “wallet” because it is a non-central example? the first rule of human memory is you don’t store anything you actually care about in human memory.

(6) share the data structure with other people. i shared this file with ~5 people i know and they were able to help me locate inefficiencies. (i shared it with them in parallel of course, if i shared it with a group of 5 people at once, the answers would be bent and warped by human background monkey politics) i like being able to have several people look over my stuff and make arguments for what is needed and what isn’t, they are p much inoculated from the status quo bias. it is less “i live like this” and more “you… live like this?”.

ive started transcribing things to google keep which has some of this functionality but

* it doesn’t seem to have import/export to .txt and .csv files which i would like

* i have to make a new account to separate it from my network of alarms and checklists

* it would be nice to be able to type everything up on a full sized keyboard

* i don’t want google knowing about certain objects “”“in case they get hacked by someone who is actually evil”“”

suggestions for [a program that organizes the above list with a good gui and satisfies the listed criteria] or [how to streamline my possessions halp] would both be q grand

 

somnilogical:

@transientpetersen i… could do a cloud excel spreadsheet thing. though google keep has a better interface than this still.

i am interested in the things you find indispensable but are not on my list! (as consistent with point (6)!) i might be missing things that i expect to increase my subjective well being.

 

transientpetersen:

Don’t know if they’ll improve your well being but I’ll mention a few items I own that surprised me to see you don’t.

No basic maintenance tools. Expected at least an adjustable wrench, a screwdriver, and maybe a flashlight (in case of power loss if for no other reason).

No mention of transport options or maintenance, only a Clipper card. Bike and chain lube make my list and I would prune a lot of other things before I considered letting them go. (Your hiking shoes get my +1.)

Food prep or transport didn’t seem to make the list. No containers or coolers or lunch box. I only see a ramen maker. No knife (either cooking or multipurpose). No mug/bowl/comfortable serving option.

Nothing too sentimental. I have one or two items that remind me where I’ve been, help me focus on where I’m going. Nothing you made yourself (as far as I can tell).

Hair ties so you’re used to dealing with length but only hair ties, nothing else to secure your hair. I need a head band at least to do anything active, bandanna will do in a pinch.

Jealous that your vision is better than mine. :)

No library card? That’s just wrong.

I hate and fear the cloud and so cling to my small external hard drive.

You have a document holder so I will assume that you are keeping a similar set of financial and medical records in hardcopy as I am.

 

somnilogical:

>basic tools, flashlight

i haven’t needed basic tools yet. might be good to get a swiss army knife

my [external battery, large] doubles as a flashlight! though in practice i have only used it once and other times have just used my phone

>bike, chain lube

i want a bike pretty badly tbh

>food container, knife, bowl

i had a bento box, i had knives, i had a bowl; i didn’t really use them. i eat ramen using utensils and bowls i find around the house. ill get a bowl and utensils in the future.

>sentimental things, things i make myself

yes! i am trying to upload everything to the computer. i used to have stacks of notebooks ~1 meter tall that i carried with me everywhere. i left these behind along with lots of other creations. (i do have photos of a few of them uploaded to tumblr.) i am trying to burn away sentimentality, it’s a spiritual project

i want to not say “everything i love can be uploaded to a computer or die” but im also feeling this a bit rn

>headband, bandanas

i used to have these, bandana for cleaning things and stuff. they weren’t essential but they were fun

>vision

yep! i have better vision than the majority humanity, 19/20. although this may no longer be accurate as i ruined a bit of my short-range vision by staring at the full moon through a telescope for ~3 hours when i was 12

>library card

i have a library card! i didn’t inventory my wallet, because i was tired at the end. this is the only significant thing i knowingly didn’t inventory

business cards (x16) (backpack) (wallet)
mental health card from uni (backpack) (wallet)
aclu know your rights! mini pamphlet (backpack) (wallet)
starbucks gift card (x3) (backpack) (wallet) (one of these was a gift from @lethriloth)
cvs prescription card (backpack) (wallet) (my sister’s)
insurance cards (x4) (backpack) (wallet)
BART tickets (x5) (backpack) (wallet)
1$ bills (x2) (backpack) (wallet)
bus tickets for [redacted] (x4) (backpack) (wallet)
disabled bus pass for [redacted] (backpack) (wallet)
my uni id (backpack) (wallet)
someone else’s uni id (backpack) (wallet)
laundry card for old apartment (backpack) (wallet)
clipper card, defunct (backpack) (wallet)
storage facility access card (backpack) (wallet)
sf library printing card (backpack) (wallet)
sf library card (backpack) (wallet)
visa prepaid card (backpack) (wallet)

>external hard drive

i think i left this at my parents’ i need to pick this up. i p much keep everything on my laptop+the cloud

>document holder

yeah that’s why i do it! come to think of it, [document holder] and [passport+birth certificate binder] could be merged

thanks! this was v helpful

(I tried to double-check the relevant parts of your inventory (or absences) before remarking on them, but I might not have succeeded.)

No water bottle? (I use a one-quart Rubbermaid bottle.)

(Plus a water bottle holder with a shoulder strap, for easier carrying. If you’re using a backpack, though, that might not be necessary.)

Do you keep a dream journal (other than the occasional Tumblr post)? I know you said you’re trying to computerise everything, but personally I find that keyboards and (especially) backlights put me in the wrong frame of mind for dream journalling, so what I do is write it out by hand and later transcribe it into a digital backup. I don’t know if you’re the same way.

Hair ties are finite? What kind of hair ties are you using? I’ve had the same scrunchie for several years, excepting the few months where it was lost. (Found it inside the couch during spring cleaning.)

I notice you have three Starbucks gift cards.

If you’re looking for ideas for useful things to keep around, this list might help. It’s outdated, but many things are still accurate, and often the general idea of an object holds even when the specific object has changed. (For example, instead of biscotti, I currently use a pair of granola bars: one berry and one peanut. Gives me options depending on what I feel like having and whether I’m in a nut-free environment.)

What about non-ingestable medical stuff? Band-Aids, alcohol wipes, wound ointment? (also mentioned in the list linked above)

Another thing from my list that I want to draw particular attention to: a sub-container dedicated to handheld-computer and its accessories. (have since upgraded from MP3 player to smartphone, but basic idea remains the same) You’ve got SD converters and USB converters in different areas, whereas mine are next to each other. (Keeping the phone in the accessory pouch also prevents “I forgot to bring my charger” issues, though I understand some people like to keep their phone in their pocket. Probably harder to get at the phone from a backpack than from a belly bag, too.)


Tags:

#reply via reblog #long post #Useful Things

tinyadventureclub:

Hey you, did you remember to take your medication? 

Did you remember just now because of this post? Go do that now and earn this badge!


Tags:

#I…remembered one of them and not the other #I should have just enough time left before bed that I can safely take the second one #I’ll go do that #(I don’t try *super* hard to remember to do them) #(because both iron supplements and prune juice are kinds of drugs where skipping a day isn’t a big deal) #(mind you I’ve forgotten the prune juice for several days in a row now) #(I’ll try to be a *little* more careful) #anyway since this post helped me I’ll pay it forward #PSA #medicine #tinyadventureclub

Anonymous asked: brin-bellway

{{previous post in sequence}}


brin-bellway:

comparativelysuperlative:

You might like to know that this afternoon I spent like thirty seconds cackling in causeless happiness at the word “meridian.”

…oh right, I did technically reblog that post, didn’t I. Anon, get thee too a church of your choosing at whatever frequency suits you.

(please stand by)

I had actually forgotten I’d told you that, though I remembered telling my readership in general that.

(Yay cackling in causeless happiness!)


Tags:

#…who’s giving my name to ship memes? #and why? #it’s not that I mind I’m just confused #I mean at least Adam has vaguely compatible kinks so that kind of made sense #I have no idea where me/Nate comes from #reply via reblog