adventures in ‘close but not quite’

Hypnokink Education Alert

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

ellaenchanting:

@hypnokinkwithmrdream is posting their old hypnokink class notes under the Fetlife Hypnapocalypse tag. It’s a fascinating read- like having a mini-EEHU in my living room. Since there are a lot of older notes, it’s also an interesting peek into how and when hypnokink culture evolved into what it is now. 

Thanks for posting these @hypnokinkwithmrdream!

Personally, I find these posts chilling.

Being so much about the power of suggestion, hypnosis is, to a fair extent, what people believe it to be. What hypnosis is changes over time, as society’s view of it changes.

I happened to be born into a part of space-time where the view of hypnosis meshed with what I was naturally inclined to find hot. It hasn’t always been this way, and, I expect, it won’t always be this way.

Someday, you’re going to leave me behind. You’ll move on to new pastures, where I will not want to follow. When I read things like this (or this, or that vanilla article you linked a while back on waking suggestions that I can’t find), I fear that it is already happening.

I’ve read over two pages of the /chrono version of the tag you linked, and he hasn’t said a single thing that makes me think “yeah, that sounds appealing”. It’s all a mix of things that don’t sound like fun at all and things that sound like they maybe could be fun but in a purely platonic way.

His kink is okay, but it is not my kink. If I’d been raised in a culture where this was the consensus view of hypnosis, I don’t think I would be a hypno-fetishist.

Sooner or later, and perhaps sooner, the future of hypnosis will be defined by people who say things like:

“Honestly I think the ‘relax/sleep/deep’ is counterproductive to what I want. People treat it as an idiomatic crutch but the reality is that I don’t really want any part of the person to sleep. I want them to be so focused that they can barely integrate the experience they are having with anything before, after, or around them.”

I look at that, and all I can think is, “I hope I find my real people before these people realise I’m not theirs.”

(And if I don’t find them in time, at least I’ll have had something resembling a community, and which will have taught me some useful techniques that I’ll likely be able to preserve privately even after they fall out of fashion. The next generation of people like me may be completely alone.)

Tags:

#I spent yesterday afternoon dealing with communities that insisted on claiming me as a member against my will #and yesterday night dealing with communities that #I’m at least 60% convinced are getting ready (however slowly) to kick me out and leave me stateless in that regard #yesterday was a bad day for group affiliations I guess #reply via reblog #sexuality and lack thereof #people who can distinguish between their drive for sleep and drive for sex fascinate me #adventures in ‘close but not quite’ #raw nerves #negativity #nsfw? #in which Brin is predictable #(maybe not quite *as* predictable as the other post I’ve used that tag on) #(but this involves a couple of recurring and related themes of my blog)

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~ Brin ~ 2 Comments

Goddammit, it’s a goddamn roleplay blog.

*headdesk*

(so you know how I mentioned a couple months ago that sometimes I poke around somnophilia stuff in hopes of finding a kindred spirit? saw a suspiciously Relatable post in the Tumblr somnophilia tag today (though the actual post was from March). I look at their about page: not much there, their name is Deleisthai and they’re a fluid demigirl and that’s about it. nothing relevant.

so I’m about to get up the nerve to message them and ask them about it when I see there’s a page labelled “Rules”, and I look at it and it’s a bunch of roleplaying rules. I had assumed the label “indie dirk strider” on their sidebar was a metaphorical comparison, but no, it’s literally a fucking Homestuck RP, and that post didn’t have the curly brackets that–judging from the blog’s front page–they use to indicate OOC.)

Tags:

#aaggghhh #I didn’t even know there still *were* RP Tumblrs #I thought they went out of fashion around 2013 #oh look an original post #sexuality and lack thereof

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SCC Prompt Set #166

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

diaryofasnowflake:

What are some advantages of BDSM and D/s fiction?

You can get dark.  In real life BDSM, we play with the idea of non-consensual relationships, or completely one-sided ones, but we all know that at the end of the day, you’re talking about two people consensually exchanging power and caring for one another.  That’s the way it should be, but when you’re just reading to get off, you can make it really twisted without the same moral problems.

Also, I’m a mind control fetishist, so fiction allows for some fantasy scenarios that simply could not happen in real life.  

What are the risks?

Getting confused as heck.  When I was 14 and found hypnokinky erotica for the first time, I assumed that the fact that I was turned on by these fantasies meant that I wanted them in real life, even though I knew them to be abhorrent.  Plus, these websites often had disclaimers, saying that these were fantasies only and that acting on them meant you were sick.  I didn’t know that they were referring really to the non-consensual aspects, and that there was a way to satisfy these urges without running off a moral cliff.

So when fiction becomes predominant, and there aren’t counter-messages of what consensual BDSM looks like, it can be a real humdinger to work through it all.

These days, I actually bristle at so-called consensual BDSM porn.  First of all, it doesn’t do much for me; I get all that in real life.  Second of all, it comes off as moralizing, and that’s incongruous with writing that’s supposed to get people off.  Third of all, then you get the likes of 50 Shades of Grey.  The reason I hate that series is twofold: 1) It presents a creepy, messed-up relationship as consensual BDSM, making all its mistakes and insinuations about what it means to be kinky all the more messed up.  2) It has become a cultural reference point to refer to kink, and that shit IS NOT ME.

TL;DR: Kinky fiction is fun, but you have to learn the skills to separate reality from fantasy from BDSM play through other means, and misinformation or confusion can spread in the meantime.

I wonder how much of it coming off as moralizing is because of you not being into it? I’m having trouble thinking of moralizing examples, but then my reaction when I first discovered consensual hypno-kink erotica was “oh my god, where have you been all my life”. It’s very possible that the only reason I’m not rolling my eyes at stories trying to get all their ethical ducks in a row is because I happen to genuinely prefer ethical situations in my porn, right down to my id, and so I feel kindly disposed towards it.

(Or possibly I just haven’t read any of the really moralizing ones, especially since I still don’t have a better means of obtaining porn that at least sort of fits my tastes than “wander through seas of non-con and occasionally hit one by blind luck” (or the indirect word-of-mouth version, “wander through seas of recs for non-con and occasionally hit a rec by blind luck”).)

Tags:

#reply via reblog #sexuality and lack thereof #nsfw? #adventures in ‘close but not quite’

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