I think a lot of people spent their childhoods being very deliberately forced out of their comfort zones by parents / teachers / whomever in a way that was just deeply unpleasant and degrading and so, when they reach young adulthood and are finally allowed real control over their lives, become set on only doing things they know they’re comfortable with forever. that’s a really important thing to be able to do, especially if you’re so used to having your boundaries routinely ignored that you aren’t even certain what you like vs what you can bear, so I absolutely see why a person would have a negative reaction to being told that discomfort is good: it can very easily sound like being told that all that work they’ve been doing to prioritze their needs for the first time ever is Bad and Selfish, actually. and to that I will say two things:
one: as long as you aren’t hurting or, like, being a dick to anyone, just staying in your comfort zone isn’t an immoral action. if you just want to read one type of book (or just fanfiction), or just eat one type of food, or just watch one type of movie, or not go to new types of social events, you aren’t being a bad person for that, and if people say that, they are soundly wrong and just trying to get a self-righteousness kick.
two: trying new things because you want to expand yourself feels a hell of a lot different than trying new things because you’re being forced to. you’ll feel better about trying new foods if you know you have a back up familiar one in case you can’t stomach the new one, it’s easier to read new books if you can experiment with audio versions or reading it in little five-page chunks by yourself, you can breathe a lot easier going somewhere new if you aren’t chained there for three hours because your parent is your ride home, etc.
tl;dr: new things are good. I get why you might not want to try new things, and that’s fine, but it’s also more comfortable to try new things as an adult with your own agency so, yeah, what have you got to lose by trying a weird old art film?
It’s really important to recognize that the negative reaction you might have to being forced into something new might make your reaction much worse than if you had the no-pressure option to explore it on your own. I always try new foods when no one is around, or only some few close friends I trust on that level, because I feel judged for being a picky eater – even if people aren’t *actually* judging me, I feel judged anyways and the pressure makes the whole experience unpleasant and I’m less likely to enjoy the food
It’s also important to recognize that sometimes, newness, in and of itself, can trigger a disgust reaction. For this reason, when i’m genuinely trying some new food/drink, I take a small bite/sip or two to get over the initial “this is new and new is bad ew ew ew” reaction, and then take the next bite/sip to actually evaluate how I feel about the flavor/texture/etc. Even when i don’t end up liking the food, this often takes a food I’d be super grossed out by and moves it closer to the “eh i simply don’t like it” category.
huge part of being autistic (and why that is Literally Traumatizing) is that your comfort levels and sensory experiences are so out of touch with everyone else’s that you’re just routinely subjected to awful, terrifying, torturous stuff as a kid and you are told “no one likes this, everyone is scared sometimes, but you just have to do it”
because the adults in your life think you’re experiencing a normal, bearable level of discomfort? because that’s what they themselves would experience, in your situation?
And you have never experienced being another person, so you think you are experiencing a normal, bearable level of discomfort, and just over-reacting to it.
The part that really digs itself into your psyche is the certainty that you can’t expect the world to be kind to you. That suffering so much is just and even necessary. The feeling that the whole world will see you in excruciating distress and think it’s unnecessary to help you, just, scars some deep primal part of your brain
it me
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#as does this‚ in a way #and yeah‚ consent matters #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #interesting #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what #autism #(…I don’t have a dedicated tag for immune bullshit as such‚ but that bit in the comments about) #(”the adults in your life think you’re experiencing a normal‚ bearable level of discomfort because that’s what they themselves would”) #(sure is a thing)
when i was a child my dad made up a fake holiday called big sandwich night the weekend after thanksgiving, during which we got the longest bread we could find and built a big sandwich together and then cut it up and ate it. we got really fancy ingredients and each built our own section of sandwich before cutting it. building the sandwich together represents community or teamwork or something. and then we would put our christmas tree up and the holiday season was officially kicked off with big sandwich night.
i grew up believing this was a real holiday that americans everywhere celebrated until when i was like 8 i asked a friend if they were excited for big sandwich night and they were like what the hell are you talking about riley. kind of shattered my worldview. but we still celebrate it and ive spread the tradition to friends and partners.
big sandwiches of years past:
as weve included more people weve started having to graft loaves together to make a sandwich big enough for everyone. but it still communicates the core idea of everyone eating the same sandwich together in fellowship.
This is a good holiday tradition.
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#this seems related to the previous post #food #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see #the more you know
Back when I was a teenager who’d just learned how to generalize the concept of Trying To Optimize Things, I found the concept of holidays somewhat silly. Surely, I thought, if a celebratory activity is fun or otherwise valuable enough to be worth doing at all, it’s worth doing always, rather than constraining it to one day a year. Surely, I thought, if a celebratory activity isn’t fun or otherwise valuable enough to be worth doing normally, it’s not worth doing during specialized holidays, either. And surely, I thought, even for those activities which are expensive enough or low-demand enough that it does make sense to do them relatively infrequently—expensive fireworks shows, for instance, or elections—it’s better to do them whenever it makes sense given the specific logistics of the limits they’re under, rather than pinning them to the calendar in any sort of strict fashion.
There’s a sense in which I still partially agree with my past self. There are many holiday activities, like wearing costumes on Halloween, that I’d find it valuable to disperse more widely throughout the year. (And, indeed, I struggle somewhat with finding costumes to wear for Halloween, nowadays, because I wear Whatever I Want all year round now and thus lack the “wear something I want to wear but couldn’t usually bring myself to for expected-social-disapproval reasons” angle of costume-selection which makes it easy for many others.) And there are many other holiday activities, like fasting on the various Jewish fast days I grew up with, which I find valueless enough that I don’t bother with them even during the holidays where they’re the Official Means Of Celebration.
But, looking back, my past self was looking at things through the wrong frame. The value of holidays isn’t specifically in doing things which are fun or otherwise valuable, but rather in doing things which shake oneself out of one’s usual life-pattern temporarily. Breaking from one’s standard daily routines, and thus getting the chance to notice flaws in those routines or opportunities for improvement, in a way which would be actively impeded were the celebratory activities to be made common enough for people’s standard routines to start factoring them in. The fun is just the hook to get people willing to take breaks from their usual patterns in order to participate in those routine-breaks.
Because there’s a large class of traps one can fall into wherein one has routines, these routines are bad (or at least less-good-than-available-alternatives) for achieving one’s goals, but the nature of the routines is such that it’s hard to notice the availability of whatever less-bad alternatives might exist. Having a dedicated day for “go do something weird and off-routine”, then, serves as a way to ensure that one has the chance to step out of whatever tunnel-vision one’s normal routines might inflict. A chance to rest and relax, if otherwise in a state of permanent exhaustion, or to do something intense-and-tiring, if otherwise not doing much; a chance to spend time hanging out with crowds, or with small groups of people, or alone, if one usually doesn’t get the chance for one or more of those activities; a chance to spend time outdoors, if usually inside, or to spend time inside, if usually outdoors; et cetera.
(These are, to be clear, not intended as an example of routine-breaking things that it would make sense to compress together into a single holiday, but rather as examples of things that would make sense to try to cover within the space of a properly-diverse collection of holidays.)
More specifically, then: a well-designed holiday should involve activities which are fun or otherwise fulfilling and worthwhile-feeling for most people—in order to drive people to participate—but which are not part of most people’s normal routines and not easy to integrate into said routines, in order to help give people the sort of out-of-routine experiences that might help them catch potential improvements to their routines. And then there should be sufficiently many different well-designed holidays that, even taking into account that any given person is likely to find some of the holidays unfun-and-thus-skippable and to find some of the holidays’ activities to fall within their normal routines, most people will still end up getting a nonzero number of properly-routine-breaking holiday experiences per year.
Not all holidays are well-designed, by this standard. America has several interchangeable holidays whose primary means of celebration is “do a barbecue”, for instance, and several more which don’t really have any standard celebrations at all beyond “take the day off work” and/or “do some sort of party maybe”, which would benefit a lot from more differentiation than they’ve currently got. But many holidays are well-designed, by this standard. So I no longer dismiss the value of holidays so much, nowadays. They’ve got room for improvement, sure—some holidays would benefit from the addition of more distinctive and/or more enjoyable celebration-patterns, and some days which currently aren’t holidays would probably benefit from being turned into holidays—but the general idea is sound, nonetheless.
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#yes this #but also‚ dedicated routine-breaking days serve as a *meta*-routine #a way to give rhythm to the passage of time #I’ve had to skip or reschedule so many holidays these past few years because of resource constraints and it’s awful to be so unmoored #(originally I was going to reblog this on Boxing Day) #(during the time I would normally have spent exploring the mall together with my mom but which we could not afford this year) #(but I was not really feeling up to talking) #(however‚ this week we celebrated my mother’s birthday late because everyone else was working that day) #(so this seems like another fitting time to bring it out) #((*could* we have arranged to take the day off? yes. but loss of wages is its own punishment.)) #time #tag rambles #adventures in human capitalism #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see
Remember that scene in The Princess Bride where Westley challenges Vizzini to a battle of the wits—you know, the one with the iocane powder?
The last few times I watched the movie, something about that scene didn’t set quite right with me, and I’ve been developing a theory about what’s really going on.
Westley was involved in a battle of wits against Vizzini, a battle which, necessarily, involves a certain amount of deception. I think that Westley was deceiving Vizzini about his use of the iocane powder.
Westley describes iocane powder to Vizzini as being “odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.”
When presenting the poison to Vizzini, Westley also gives him the explicit instructions “Inhale this, but do not touch.”
While I believe Westley may truthfully have spent several years building up a resistance to the effects of iocane powder, I propose that rather than poisoning both goblets as he claimed to have done, Westley didn’t pour the iocane powder into either cup of wine!
Especially since the iocane was in powder form, I suspect that rather than being an ingested poison, it was an inhalation poison!
Vizzini wasn’t poisoned when Westley poured (or didn’t pour) iocane powder into the wine goblets, but when Westley told him to waft the vial of iocane powder. Since iocane powder is odorless, Vizzini wouldn’t have noticed that trace amounts of one of the “more deadly poisons known to man” had been introduced into his system…trace amounts that were still enough to kill a man within minutes.
And since iocane powder came from Australia, and it’s well documented that Australia is home to some of the most venomous species of plants and animals on earth, there’s no reason not to believe that such a small quantity iocane powder could have killed a man of Vizzini’s stature.
Westley had already won the battle of wits before it had begun, and was simply stalling for time until the poison took it’s effect.
All quotes from the script accessed from this site: [X]
This is, in all likelihood, the most important post I’ve ever made on this blue-bordered website.
Is there a word for that like, “bright darkness” you get in winter?? When it’s been snowing or it’s supposed to snow past sunset and the sky isn’t Dark Enough. One of my favorite things
Thanks to @raindropwindow and a handful of articles, it’s called snow albedo, skyglow, snowglow, or just light scattering! It’s the result of moon- or artificial light reflecting off ground snow, low clouds, or ice crystals.
that nsfw snow…
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#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #juxtaposition #snow #language #pretty things #landscapes
So there’s this company in the UK, right. They brand themselves on producing fancy free range eggs and as part of that they have breed information written on the carton.
I did some snooping and found that every miracle news story of a supermarket egg hatching in the UK traced back to duck eggs, specifically the Braddock White duck eggs produced by this one company for the supermarket Waitrose.
And one day my mum brings them home and says “I bought these to eat but aren’t they the ones that hatch?”
And it’s spring and I’m hatching a ton this year so in they went.
On candling we had three fertile eggs! That’s a fertility of 50% – the same as shipped eggs from a breeder!
Hatch day comes and we get 2 ducklings, Curie and Becquerel. Sadly, Curie contracts duck septicaemia from an infected navel and doesn’t make it, but Becquerel is a healthy bird and growing like a weed.
I had put 4 breeder eggs in a week after them in case just one hatched, so Becque now has two Khaki Campbell cross friends called Tsuki and Hoshi so she isn’t lonely.
And as of today’s 7am Quacking – Becque is a female! Which means she’s capable of laying eggs and therefore I have pirated a duck.
You wouldn’t download a duck
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#food #ducks #adorable #death tw? #fun with loopholes #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(I did laugh at the ”pirated a duck” line‚ but‚ like‚ they *did* pay for the egg) #(I guess it’s more like DRM stripping)
It doesn’t get talked about enough, but This Discord Has Ghosts In It is a rad example of how you can adapt game design to your surroundings.
Basically, This Discord Has Ghosts In It is a digital larp. It’s Phasmophobia played by chat. Your group creates a discord server to function as a haunted house, then you all explore it, building new ‘rooms’ out of channels as you go.
Some players take the roles of ghosts, and are muted but can affect the environment in the haunted house.
Other players take the roles of explorers, and can talk, but the ghosts are all listening.
Discord wasn’t built to be gamified this way, but that doesn’t matter.
As long as you can guarantee consistent behavior from a thing, you can build mechanics off of it.
Anything in your environment can be turned into a game.
And in this particular case, it’s a really good one!
The mechanics lend themselves well to the kinds of pacing, limited communication, and untrustworthy setting that any good ghost story needs.
Characters being compared to dogs always use terriers or pitbulls or something for their metaphors. “They grab on and they don’t let go” “They keep worrying at it until it’s dead” etc.
Anyway, I want to see collies used as metaphors. Albert Payson Terhune style. “He was like an attack dog–making slash-and-run attacks, cutting them up worse every time, never staying in range long enough to get hurt but circling back over and over.”
He was like a beagle – AAAUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *breath* AUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #dogs #language #overly literal interpretations