feynites:

writing-prompt-s:

You’re a mystic who runs a shop full of mysterious artifacts and potions and you’re sick of uninformed middle-aged suburban moms asking for energy crystals and herbal weight-loss mixtures while throwing around made-up terms.

When a middle-aged woman rolled into my shop and told me she was looking for ichor, I didn’t think much of it at first.

You get all kinds in a shop like mine, and doubly so when you put up the right signs on your door. The signs that let certain kinds of people know they’re welcome, not just the collectors or the curious or the new age mystics, looking for this root or that crystal or wanting to gawk at a jar of old bones, but the less innocuous individuals as well.  The kind who mean business when they come looking for their… less run-of-the-mill specialities.

Keep reading


Tags:

#storytime #death tw

yawpkatsi:

Concept: Some jackass shows Bucky how to make a blog and it becomes really popular. Not because it’s the blog of James Buchanan Barnes, American Legend, War Hero, Infamous Assassin, Alleged Terrorist. Nobody even knows it’s his blog. It gets really popular because people think it’s a really great shitpost generator or something. Because Bucky is just a Weird Fucking Person and everything he posts on his fucking personal blog comes off as somewhere between dril and Jaden Smith and people are like “this is some quality garbage right here” and thus Accidental Memelord Bucky is born.

 

hellenhighwater:

Bucky posts things like

“What is wrong with bananas. I ate a banana today and it was Wrong. America why”

“Every time I put on my eye makeup it gets bigger. My whole face is eyeliner now.”

“Why does friendship feel so much like punching”

“When I wake up in the middle of the night I am either thinking ‘who am I? does my life have meaning?’ or “did I already eat all of the plums?’”

“Why are you so grumpy” they ask me. they do not realize this is just my Face.”

“I know i said i would give my left arm for a cup of coffee but i am more awake now and i would like my arm back please”

“I guess I must have done something horrible in a past life. I mean. I definitely did something horrible in this life, so. “

 

yawpkatsi:

OMG I LOVEEEE

 

mewwitch:

YEEESSSSSSS!

“Guy in front of me won’t move his car seat up. I think that might still be upset about all those times I tried to kill him.”

“Got lectured by a guy who had been complaining about how things were Back In The Day. I don’t understand why he got upset. I too lived through the Great Depression and was drafted for the War.”

“The economy in this century sucks. Who exactly though another Stock Market crash was a good idea?”

“Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them. On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.”

“‘If you don’t behave we’ll send (mutual) after you.’ Jokes on them. I’m the one who trained them to be an assassin in the first place.”

“Tried to buy a Chicken Dinner candy bar at the supermarket today. Turns out they were discontinued 54 years ago. Super bummed.”

“Wait. People were on the moon?! We got into space? There is a way off of this rock?! Why am I only just hearing about this?!”

“’Have you been living under a rock the past 50 years?’ No I was cryogenically frozen for 70. I don’t appreciate your tone young man.”

“My friend likes convincing people that I’m the Reckless one in our friendship. As if he won’t find an alley behind a bar to pick a fight in if I take my eyes off him for two seconds.”

 

hellenhighwater:

“Why would i want to get a haircut when instead I can look like i just returned from a 12 year jaunt in the wilderness every time i grow a beard”

“was having a hard time finding noodles in the grocery store & asked a clerk for help. she looked at me like a crazy person. lady, it’s not my fault you don’t speak russian”

“what kind of idiot thinks dancers are sissies? literally every ballerina i have ever met could kill an adult man with just her legs”

“today i discovered Conditioner. the future is a miracle and my hair like a cloud now”

“apparently just jumping on to a moving bus when you are running late is not a thing people do anymore. please stop yelling at me.”

“went to a club last night to see what the hip kids were into. apparently the latest thing is just having sex standing up with your clothes on in a room full of people.”

“on the one hand, people dressed much nicer in the 40s. on the other hand, yoga pants.”

“rode in a car with heated seats today. it is my house now. i live here.”

 

hellenhighwater:

“i have acquired a small bear. i am putting a collar and leash on him. he is my dog. no one tell animal control”

“i am working on this whole Good Guy thing but anyone who cuts me in line at starbucks deserves to have their kneecaps shot out okay”

“why did they have to make escalators so terrifying to get on and off of? from now on I’m just jumping off the mall balconies. none of this awful moving teeth staircase”

“i don’t care if it’s a ‘priceless historical artifact,’ punk, i didn’t wanna do the dishes and it makes a pretty good spaghetti bowl”

“hoodie pockets are so great. i can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm”

“i really though we would have flying cars by now. the future is such a letdown.”

“changed sam’s ringtone to jesus take the wheel.”

“do you know that feeling when you go to lean on your short friend’s conveniently arm-rest-height shoulder but you forget they had a huge growth spurt and you just awkwardly lean your elbow into the middle of their bicep”

“i swear i didn’t know your girlfriend was coming over. i always ominously clean my assault weapons on the coffee table like that. it had nothing to do with you.”

 

yawpkatsi:

“anyone else got that one limb that’s super fuckin loud yeah buzz buzz i get it now buzz off ya jerk”

 

hellenhighwater:

This post has continued to gain momentum, and some of you people have followed me over it. So I made a separate sideblog: Bucky, King of Memes.

http://buckykingofmemes.tumblr.com/

it’s literally just bucky shitposting. 

 

yawpkatsi:

OH MY GOD

 

jukeboxemcsa:

I just picture all these people following him and really getting into his posts and then seeing, “Fuck all this, going back to bed until they invent a way to stop me suddenly wanting to kill people,” and getting really worried.

 

thestoryofaslut:

Fucking amazingly brilliant.

 

hypno-sandwich:

Awesome!

Cc: @emilianadarling, @enscenic @theleeallure

 

mindmadeofmagicandmusic:

Oh memelord Bucky, how I’ve missed you.

But now there’s a blog!


Tags:

#Marvel #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

adzolotl:

mark-gently:

shlevy:

oligopsonoia:

quick, random poll: can you imagine smells? (I cannot, or at least my attempts to right now are failing, and I also can’t recall ever specifically doing so)

No! This is disturbing why didn’t I know this?

i can!

(i have no memory/record regarding whether i could do that before i worked at Bath & Body Works)

I can, but not very well. Taste is much easier.

I guess? I don’t know how I’d go about creating new imaginary scents, but I can copy scents I remember. Not all that well, but my visual imagination is also towards the low-detail end.


Tags:

#reply via reblog #survey #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see

redbeardace:

redbeardace:

Oh, Tumblr, thanks for hiding a really important reblog with some really important commentary from me.  What else are you pretending hasn’t been said?

In just a minute or so, I’ve found two more cases where this happened.

That means it’s happening all the time.

WHAT THE HELL.

Were they all first-degree reblogs of asks? Reblogs of asks, if they are reblogged directly from the OP, show up as commentary-less in the notes regardless of whether they actually lack commentary. Reblogs of reblogs do show commentary. (I don’t remember if the intermediary reblog needs to have commentary or not, but I don’t think it does.)

This is a long-standing and widely known bug, but not always widely known enough.

(Probably we should adopt a social norm of avoiding commentary on first-degree ask reblogs. If one really wants to reblog an ask to respond to it, and there isn’t already a first-degree reblog available, one first reblogs it without commentary (perhaps a small note to one’s followers that one is about to add something) and then reblogs oneself to add the commentary.)

(Is there some sort of centralised wiki or something for unofficial Tumblr documentation? Spreading each individual fact through word of mouth does fit with the general usage style of Tumblr, but the coverage isn’t always that great.)


Tags:

#reply via reblog #Tumblr: a User’s Guide #the more you know #I know I’m supposed to complain here about the ”blue hellsite” #but honestly I can’t be bothered to give a shit #it is what it is


{{next post in sequence}}

I present to you an excerpt of something I experienced from the midnight release of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix:

boardgamebrony:

(Everyone is standing in line at the San Antonio Rivercenter Mall book store. It is very close to midnight)

Girl in the Line: READ US THE FIRST WORD!

(Employee opens up the book in front of everyone. He speaks)

Employee: “THE”

(Everyone cheers)


Tags:

#Harry Potter #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog

Anonymous Collections and Disappearing Works: An AO3 Mystery (that’s not actually a mystery at all)

wrangletangle:

I’ve seen several people in the past 2 weeks post in utter confusion about their works disappearing after they were notified that they’d been added to a collection – or not notified at all. This sounds like a deep mystery, but it’s not.

A somewhat new feature on AO3 is the ability to invite works to a collection. Each user can set their preference to either accept all such invitations automatically or decide each one manually. You can also set whether to be emailed about invitations or not. These settings are under your “Preferences” menu, in the “Collections, Challenges and Gifts” section.

Recently, several users have started creating collections instead of using personal bookmarks for a topic. This is fine! These users then started inviting works to those collections. Also fine! That’s what the system was designed for.

Some of those collection owners got excited about the Anonymity function that collections can turn on or off. They decided to make their collections anonymous. To protect anonymity, if a work is listed in a collection that is set to anonymous, the work does not appear on your personal works page. This makes sense if you enter a challenge and it has an anonymous period before reveals – having the work appear on your personal works page would break anonymity pretty badly!

Unfortunately, I think most people setting Anonymity on these new invitation-only collections don’t realize that they’re making people’s existing works disappear from their works pages. If you have “Automatically agree to your work being collected by others in the Archive” and “Turn off emails from collections” both checked, your work might seem to literally vanish. Someone adds it to their collection, you don’t get an email because you turned those off, and you never find out what happened.

However! There’s a very simple solution.

  • Go to your works page (http://archiveofourown.org/users/YOUR USERNAME/works).
  • Select the button “Works in Collections”.
  • All your works in collections will pop up, and all the collections will be listed in the filters.
  • Skim down to find your missing work, or use the filter list to look for a collection you don’t remember seeing before and filter by it.
  • Edit your work.
  • Under “Post to Collections / Challenges”, press the “x” beside the collection’s name.
  • Save your work.

This will remove your work from the collection – for now. If this happened to you, I highly recommend turning off “Automatically agree to your work being collected by others in the Archive” in your preferences to avoid the work being re-added to the collection by a confused collection owner who doesn’t understand what happened.

Collection owners, please make sure you understand what Anonymity does before enabling it! For most invitation-only collections, it doesn’t make sense to enable that, because the works already exist and have names attached to them on the archive.

 

copperbadge:

This is a helpful FYI! This happened to me – I approved adding Exclusive to a collection because I didn’t know anything other than “yay someone likes my work”, and Roos let me know this morning that my work was showing up as orphaned. I was very worried until I saw this post. Went in and removed it from the collection someone had added it to, and it no longer looks orphaned. Thank goodness.

 

tehnakki:

Copperbadge Posted ''Exclusive'' (Again)

Haha, and apparently yanking your fic back from a collection results in a notification to subscribers that you’ve posted a new work.

 

copperbadge:

Oh nooooo, I have faked everyone out! D:

 

enmuse:

This is super helpful to know because I’ve been trying to FIND fic and maybe this is accounting for some of the issues. If I get a direct link (like from a tumblr account I happened across) I can get the fic. BUT the story doesn’t end up in tags I follow.

This just happened with a Bucky/Tony story. Drives me batty to suspect that there’s more WinterIron stories I could be reading but don’t know about D:

 

wrangletangle:

Hm, @enmuse, that sounds like a different situation entirely. Collections don’t remove works from the tags. Could you contact the Support team at the “Technical Support & Feedback” link at the bottom of every AO3 page, to give them a link to the work and a list of tags it’s tagged with but not showing in? It sounds like a rare but known bug, and they’ll know how best to fix it. (This also goes for anyone else who finds a work older than 2 weeks that’s tagged with a thing but not showing in the tags for that thing.)

 

coaldustcanary:

Actually, a much quicker solution (speaking as a support volunteer) is to let the author know about the issue in a comment, and suggest they Edit the work or the most recent chapter of the work and then Post Without Preview (they don’t actually have to change anything in the work!) to nudge the Archive into re-indexing the work in question.

If you contact us in Support as a work creator, this is the first thing we’ll suggest you do, and it solves the problem more than 90% of the time. It’s also much faster than the necessary steps on our end to talk to a tag wrangler or database volunteer to shake the archive on our end!

Of course, if this doesn’t work, definitely put in a ticket!

 

wrangletangle:

Well there you are, a better answer from someone who fixes things regularly. Thanks, coaldustcanary!

 

cosmic-llin:

As far as I know this is also a problem if you add works to a new collection that are also in an old collection (usually a challenge) with hinky anonymity settings – I had some trouble with this with the Women of Star Trek collection when I invited works that were also in older collections, where individual works had been revealed but the overall collection was set to Unrevealed or Anonymous. Adding them to the collection reset them to being unrevealed/anonymous.

Also, as someone with tons of pending invitations to my collection, I’m partly reblogging this just because I wish more people knew about collections generally and checked their collection invitations! It’s a really useful bit of the site!


Tags:

#AO3 #the more you know

📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎

{{OP by a-bell-to-rise-and-die}}

yumantimatter:

📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎📎


Tags:

#high context jokes #the only reason I’m reblogging this is to celebrate that I finally managed to get emojis working on my laptop #I can actually see what this is now! #it’s not just a bunch of boxes with hex digits inside!

faerveren-of-doriath:

wheelrider:

assassinationtipsforladies:

atamajakki:

I love when ghost hunting shows are in a fucking ancient ruin and ask their questions in english

“what is your name” homeboy I was a viking several hundred years ago I don’t know what the fuck you’re saying

Is anyone else imagining “J.R.R. Tolkien: Ghost Hunter”

“Alright, now I’m going to try 8th century Anglo-Norse”

YES

#Hm no how about 4th century Gothic #Welsh? No? #Let’s try good ol’ Latin #this could go on and on #safe bet he wouldn’t accidentally insult the ghost’s mother or anything

#keeps trying different languages and none of them work#accidentally slips into sindarin#ghost recognizes it hoLY SHIT WHO IS THIS?#tolkien


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #language #ghost #Lord of the Rings

Two down. Two to go.

I’m doing really well: it’s only been six and a half months since the last one, and I wasn’t even working towards this the whole time. (I also bought a lot of other familiars, a full vista collection, and a fully expanded lair.)

(Plus, this one actually cost 20k gems less than the last one, at 135kg. I already had 125k in gems, so I only had to sell two of my personal sprites to raise the remaining funds.)


Tags:

#okay so I looked at my accounting spreadsheet #and it looks like other familiars + vistas + lair expansions = ~83.5kg #so yeah if I’d gone straight for a second KS familiar I could have gotten there a *lot* faster than 6.5 months #I’m…actually kind of worried about what I’ll do after I get the full set #I guess prepare for the possibility of another Boolean auction? #not sure it’ll be as fun without a clear goal in mind #Flight Rising #adventures in dragon capitalism #oh look an original post