Author: Brin

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

unknought:

I’m lying in the dark and something like oblivion starts to flood my mind. Am I falling asleep? It occurs to me that I don’t actually know. For all the thousands of times I’ve fallen asleep, I can’t remember a single one. I don’t know what it feels like to stop being conscious. If I am in fact falling asleep right now, I realize, then what I’m experiencing in this moment will be gone from my mind when I wake up.

A tiny part of my mind panics: I don’t want to be erased! I don’t want to die! I’m jolted back to full consciousness. I lie still for a while, my thoughts slow, my mind starts to fill with something thick and sluggish and quiet, a part of me panics again. Not most of me; I know that I need to sleep. But enough of me to manage a veto, or at least a filibuster.

In the morning I wake up. I remember the cycle of drifting off towards probably-sleep and being repeatedly pulled back by a tiny fear of oblivion. I don’t remember how it ended.

Saaaaame.

(My feelings about this are so complicated and connected to so much other stuff in my head that it’s hard to really express them properly/coherently. And it might be TMI anyway.)

(I get the impression from reading about other people’s experiences that there’s quite a range of hypnagogic recall ability, and I’m towards the worse end of the scale. TBH, #1 quality-of-life tweak I would make to the human brain is improved hypnagogic recall. Since there are already people who have it, it’s clearly possible to set up a brain that way.)

Tags:

#obligate dozing fetishism + poor hypnagogic recall + psychological Issues regarding memory and existence = cruel joke of Nature #(of course it’s bedtime now isn’t it) #(I suppose I shall go nobly sacrifice very-near-future!me for a better-rested tomorrow) #(like every goddamn night) #reply via reblog #amnesia cw #death tw #infohazards #(you can really see the mishmash of grandfathered blacklist-tag formats on posts like this) #sexuality and lack thereof #people who can distinguish between their drive for sleep and drive for sex fascinate me

~ Brin ~ 2 Comments

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…they just completely dropped the whole thing.

The arc is over, without Extremis ever affecting anything.

Perfectly good mindfuck wasted.

Tags:

#I’m not saying I even necessarily *like* mindfucks #(it really depends) #but dammit I know a lead-up to a mindfuck plot when I see one #and you can’t just do that and then *not deliver* #you can’t just have the characters ignore the single largest threat to their plan #and have them be *right* to ignore it #*headdesk* #Doctor Who #dw spoilers #The Lie of the Land #oh look an original post #negativity tw #reactionblogging

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~ Brin ~ 2 Comments

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Also, please tell me I’m not the only person whose reaction to the next-time-on trailer was “what these people need is some key lime pie”.

Tags:

#…I’m the only one aren’t I #goddammit #Hidden Almanac #Doctor Who #high context jokes #The Pyramid at the End of the World #The Lie of the Land #dw spoilers #(although tbh it’s only a spoiler if you’re familiar with the Fathers arc of the Hidden Almanac) #(which you’re probably not) #(but just in case) #oh look an original post #reactionblogging

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~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

New DW episode tonight.

Place your bets on whether the Resistance will realise the need for frequent shadow-testing.

Tags:

#after last week’s stupidity my hopes are not high #in their defence it’s currently not clear if the Resistance even has access to enough background knowledge to figure this out #the Doctor’s alpha-timeline self #–and therefore all of his forks from that point on– #know about shadow-testing #but it’s not clear if he’s told anyone else #(I’m thinking the answer re: the Resistance is either ”no” or ”they find out partway through the episode”) #(and that the regeneration scene that’s going around in gifsets takes place in a shadow-world) #(leaning toward ”find out partway through” on the grounds that) #(IIRC) #(none of the characters have made *any* use of the information from the Extremis recording yet) #(all of their dealings with the Monks would have gone the same way if they’d never heard of them before) #(so I’m hoping the writers will realise they haven’t actually fired that proverbial rifle yet) #((but they might not because on the surface it *looks* fired already)) #((just in ways that didn’t actually affect the plot)) #tag rambles #Doctor Who #negativity tw #oh look an original post #reactionblogging #(sort of) #The Pyramid at the End of the World #The Lie of the Land #dw spoilers #(…I just realised I forgot to spoiler-tag my reaction post last week) #(oops) #(too late now I suppose)

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~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

another-normal-anomaly:

My dumb brain: is steel wool vegan?

Me: unless they’ve invented a steel sheep, yeah, I would fuckin think so

My brain: hey, you don’t know all the new pokemon! There might be a steel sheep by now!

Me: STFU

Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #in which Brin learns to speak Pokemon

What’s your favorite type of porn?

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

asexualactivities:

Ace/grace/demi respondents only, please!

[Asexual Activities Open Question Weekend! | Audience Participation!]

Written word. Consenting characters. Contains no conventionally sexual content (but can contain some stuff that’s only conventionally sexual when foreplay or aftercare, like cuddling): only recognisable as porn through the right kink goggles.

(Willing to bend on the no-sex criterion, especially since with writing you can skim. These days, mostly unwilling to bend on consensuality: I have no ethical problem with the existence of non-con fiction, but it’s not my thing. I try non-written porn sometimes, but with audio and video the bandwidth is too high and it’s too hard to pause/skim/skip-back. Image stills can be okay, but not as good as text.)

Tags:

#sexuality and lack thereof #reply via reblog #nsfw text