For some reason this morning I was thinking about l’esprit d’escalier (or, no, we’ve started calquing that into “staircase wit”, haven’t we?), and this one post I read maybe a year or three ago.

I think the blogger (I don’t recall who it was) was talking about being “good, giving, and game”: that when negotiating a sexual relationship, it’s good to be open to doing things that, while you really don’t *mind* doing them†, you don’t find erotic yourself (but your partner does).

And the example they used was how they once encountered a man whose primary fetish was painting women’s fingernails while they were under sedation. And this, they said, is someone who is probably only going to be satisfied in a relationship with someone good, giving, and game: after all, women in the audience, would *you* get off on having a man paint your fingernails while you were under sedation?

And I don’t think I ever commented with “Well, actually…”, and I kind of regret that.

—

(To be fair, there’s still a GGG aspect there, since I don’t care about fingernail painting. And while in *theory* being sedated is hot, in practice sedatives tend to come with side effects (unconsciousness, amnesia, non-lucidity, sometimes all of the above) severe enough that it’s not worth taking them recreationally. (though in fairness to *that*, I *am* pretty sure the question was phrased as “would you get off on it” without reference to “and would you be willing to do it IRL”, and the 5 – 10 minutes or so on dimenhydrinate where you’re high but haven’t lost consciousness yet *are* definitely erotic) And it would make a good segue into a related negotiation point of “sometimes kinks are compatible even when they’re not pointing at the same thing”. And–I think this was the thing that actually stopped me, since at the time I probably still *could* have responded–it felt like something of an asshole move to fight the hypothetical when they could just as easily have picked some other obscure fetish such that nobody in the audience *did* find it appealing.

But it was still kind of a prime comedic moment that they picked *that* example when talking to a group including *me*.)

—

†Not to be confused with sexual acts you’re *grudgingly* willing to do, which are generally a bad idea.


Tags:

#oh look an original post #people who can distinguish between their drive for sleep and drive for sex fascinate me #sexuality and lack thereof #drugs cw #nsfw text #(and I think it’s close enough to put it in here too:) #high context jokes

@acemindbreaker​, I didn’t want to directly reblog this thread (there were some pretty pressuring bits in previous parts of the reblog chain, and I follow a no-guilt-trips policy), but I did want to try and answer your question.

You live in Saskatchewan, right? It looks like this is Saskatchewan’s version of the medication assistance program my family’s on.

IIRC, the Ontarian program specifies that to qualify for it your household must spend more than 4% of its collective income on prescription meds†, and the program acts to cap your spending at 4% of income (each quarter you only pay up to that figure, and then the program kicks in and pays for the rest of your meds that quarter). The Saskatchewan page seems rather more vague about what its qualifiers and effects are, but the information might be buried in there somewhere, and presumably it has *some* effect for *some* people.

—

I was not involved in the decision to make No Frills our primary pharmacy (it was a while ago), but I assume my parents had their reasons to switch over from Pharmasave, and they were probably financial reasons. The No Frills website says there are only three of them in all of SK, so you might very well not live near one, but the general idea might hold. I don’t know what websites might help you in determining which pharmacies are cheaper than others, though: search listings seem to be clogged with places trying to smuggle(?) Canadian meds into the United States.

—

(And the smuggling brings up something that may be worth noting, that in some cases the efforts of Americans to get cheaper meds are just trying to bring prices down to a level Canadians would consider full price, and to some extent the reason there is less Canadians can do is because there is less to be done. I still remember, shortly after we moved, how horrified our new friends were when they heard what my parents had been paying for their medications. But I don’t want to put too much emphasis on that: even when things are better than they *could* be, it’s often important to try to make them better still.)

—

†so I suspect we’re going to get kicked out at the next assessment now that we’re making more, but anyway


Tags:

#this post technically qualifies as: #oh look an original post #but is closer to the spirit of: #reply via reblog #our home and cherished land #adventures in human capitalism

{{previous post in sequence}}


brin-bellway:

sinesalvatorem:

thebaconsandwichofregret:

weepingdildo:

Send me to Mars with party supplies before next august 5th

No guys you don’t understand.

The soil testing equipment on Curiosity makes a buzzing noise and the pitch of the noise changes depending on what part of an experiment Curiosity is performing, this is the way Curiosity sings to itself.

So some of the finest minds currently alive decided to take incredibly expensive important scientific equipment and mess with it until they worked out how to move in just the right way to sing Happy Birthday, then someone made a cake on Curiosity’s birthday and took it into Mission control so that a room full of brilliant scientists and engineers could throw a birthday party for a non-autonomous robot 225 million kilometres away and listen to it sing the first ever song sung on Mars*, which was Happy Birthday.

This isn’t a sad story, this a happy story about the ridiculousness of humans and the way we love things. We built a little robot and called it Curiosity and flung it into the star to go and explore places we can’t get to because it’s name is in our nature and then just because we could, we taught it how to sing.

That’s not sad, that’s awesome.

*this is different from the first song ever played on mars (Reach For The Stars by Will.I.Am) which happened the year before, singing is different from playing

Human Beings: These Are My People

(You can hear what the song would have sounded like here.)

@agapi42​, thank you for reminding me it’s Curiosity’s birthday today! Here are some more details.

The link I included last time has since rotted, so here’s a replacement.


Tags:

#birthday #Curiosity #Mars #the power of science #music #space

hugealienpie:

marauders4evr:

15-underscores:

ihsnamih:

I love how casually knowledgeable Ronald Weasley is, talking facts, including the year and the venue

like that.

Charlie studied dragons. Ron isn’t just casually knowledgeable, he takes an interest in his brothers’ hobbies

I’ll bet it wasn’t just an interest. In fact, I’ll bet those exact words were repeated in the Weasley household on a weekly, if not daily, basis.

“But Mum, my mate’s cousin’s sister’s uncle has the egg just ready to go and honestly, who better to take care of things than us, because after all—?”

“Dragon breeding was outlawed by the Warlocks’ Convention of 1709, Charlie!”

“Dad, seriously, the guy in the alleyway was practically begging me to take the egg and I mean—”

“Dragon breeding was outlawed by the Warlocks’ Convention of 1709, Charlie!”

“Good morning, family, let’s say I managed to convert my bedroom into a habitat suitable for a Chinese Fireball, wouldn’t that show that I’m respons—”

“Dragon breeding was outlawed by the Warlocks’ Convention of 1709, Charlie!”

It’s just on a gigantic af poster in the middle of the Burrow’s kitchen. Hanging right there above the tea kettle: 𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕠𝕟 𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕠𝕦𝕥𝕝𝕒𝕨𝕖𝕕 𝕓𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕠𝕔𝕜𝕤’ ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕧𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕠𝕗 𝟙𝟟𝟘𝟡, ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕖!

It just wasn’t mentioned because it wasn’t relevant to Harry’s journey.

Not a poster. A sampler, spite-embroidered by Percy one very surly winter.


Tags:

#Harry Potter #fanfic #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #dragon

Anonymous asked: Have you joined pillowfort? Why or why not?

lavender-sprinkles:

I personally don’t have a Pillowfort account yet, but my partner does and she has let me look at her account fully to see what it is like. I’ve also viewed Pillowfort’s demo account which is linked to on their Kickstarter. I am waiting with anticipation when I can make my own account, but right now Pillowfort is in a closed beta which means the only people who have access to the site are ones who have been given special registration links. They were doing waves of free beta accounts a bit ago (which is how my partner got her account), but right now for every $5 you pledge to their Kickstarter you will receive a registration key if the Kickstarter gets fully funded (they are as of today 40% of the way to their $39,900 goal).

Here is why I’m excited for Pillowfort:

  • If you delete your original posts, every reblogged version will be deleted too. Edit your original post and the changes will appear on every reblog,
  • The ability to make posts visible to everyone, just followers, just mutuals, or just yourself.
  • A functional blacklist where you can blacklist a post body & tags or just tags.
  • A terms of service that explicitly states you hold all rights to your own intellectual property. It also states clearly that it forbids callout posts, doxxing, degradation, harassing, hate groups, spamming of tags with unrelated or offensive material, and slurs against minorities. If there is a user that is doing anything offensive or hateful, it is encouraged and mandated you don’t make posts about it and instead flag it and let the site moderators take care of it. This sort of system cuts down on “dashboard drama” and harassment that sites like Tumblr are known for. 
  • They have threaded comments which means discussions or praise no longer clog up your posts and your blog, keeping things much more organized and clean. We can also use tags for their ACTUAL purpose, tagging of posts for ease of search and organization instead of talking.
  • They have communities and a more connected user-based and user-led environment.
  • Posts in chronological order like they should be!
  • A staff that actually cares about the input of their members and is driven to listen and collaborate with their members to create a site that the users actually want instead of being led by a corporation that has their own agendas in mind.
  • A staff that wants to avoid corporate involvement, unwanted ads, and selling of user info to fund Pillowfort.
  • The future possibilities of what the staff can do with the site that we didn’t dream could be possible to have all in one place including accessibility and a functional mobile app.

So far, I’ve seen a lot of good things and I’ve been really impressed with how the staff is handling the site and how they have explained their plans for the future of Pillowfort.

If you say you really want a social media site that actually cares about their users, this is it. This is your chance to have what pretty much all of us want. This new blogging platform is all the best parts of Tumblr (and for those who miss Livejournal this is like a wedding between Tumblr and Livejournal) with all the parts we hate and loathe about the site scraped out of it.

If you like everything that you’ve read about Pillowfort.io, please pledge to their Kickstarter. Even $5 can help and it will get you a registration link to get on Pillowfort yourself if the Kickstarter gets fully funded.

If you can’t support Pillowfort monetarily, then please, please reblog, tweet, share, and spread it about everywhere you can. 

This is our chance to have a social media made with us in mind and it’s already starting out so well with 10,000 users in the closed beta. Let’s bring it to the next stage of its life!

 

Um.

Look, I understand why people would think having veto power over your OPs is a good thing, but also I really don’t want a site where bits and pieces of *my blog* are rotting out of existence because the thread originators unilaterally decided to delete them. Especially if–and I can’t find anything in the site’s about section that says for sure whether or not they do this, but it seems like the most obvious way to handle it–deactivating your account deletes all of your posts. You ever look at a years-old section of someone’s Tumblr and see how many of the OPs are deactivated? I want my blog to be an archive, not just an ephemeral stream†.

And I don’t want comments to be sequestered away within their associated posts, so that it’s not a standard action to say “hey, Brin often has interesting things to say and good taste in things to say them about, I want to be shown every thread where she comments”.

(having the *option* to make a particular comment sequestered rather than shown to your followers is good (perhaps a more robust version of the Tumblr “reply” function), but it should not be the default)

(likewise, occasionally you want a post to be sequestered, and I do agree that a better version of Tumblr would have a friends-locking system)

Pillowfort doesn’t have the best parts of Tumblr. It has the parts of LiveJournal that make LJ inferior to Tumblr, the parts that exalt posters over commenters, force you to make primarily OPs or be a second-class citizen.

(And, as I was saying the last time somebody tried a (somewhat more literal) marriage of Tumblr and Dreamwidth††, the whole reason I’m able to make Tumblr OPs is because I know my OPs are just one aspect of my blog and don’t have to stand alone.)

Each blog being a combined feed of the user’s posts and comments *is* what makes Tumblr great, and no “”new and improved”” Tumblr-inspired social-media site is ever going to have a hope of attracting me and others like me until they understand that.

—

†And yes, I *have* taken steps to ensure my blog archive outlives Tumblr itself.

††Notice how the OP on that post deactivated two years ago? And I’m still able to show you what my comment was?


Tags:

#reply via reblog #<– my favourite thing about having a Tumblr #Tumblr: a User’s Guide #amnesia cw #discourse cw? #(the following category tag was added retroactively:) #Pillowfort

nonomella:

Coraline is a masterfully made film, an amazing piece of art that i would never ever ever show to a child oh my god are you kidding me

 

cthullhu:

Nothing wrong with a good dose of sheer terror at a young age

 

whatthecurtains:

“It was a story, I learned when people began to read it, that children experienced as an adventure, but which gave adults nightmares. It’s the strangest book I’ve written”

-Neil Gaiman on Coraline

 

greenbryn:

@nightlovechild

 

lierdumoa:

This is a legit psychology phenomenon tho like there’s a stop motion version of Alice and Wonderland that adults find viscerally horrifying, but children think is nbd. It’s like in that ‘toy story’ period of development kids are all kind of high key convinced that their stuffed animals lead secret lives when they’re not looking and that they’re sleeping on top of a child-eating monster every night so they see a movie like Coraline and are just like “Ah, yes. A validation of my normal everyday worldview. Same thing happened to me last Tuesday night. I told mommy and she just smiled and nodded.”

 

redgrieve:

Stephen King had this whole spiel i found really interesting about this phenomenon about how kids have like their own culture and their own literally a different way of viewing and interpreting the world with its own rules that’s like secret and removed from adult culture and that you just kinda forget ever existed as you grow up it’s apparently why he writes about kids so much

 

12drakon:

An open-ended puzzle often gives parents math anxiety while their kids just happily play with it, explore, and learn. I’ve seen it so many times in math circles. We warn folks about it.

 

gokuma:

Neil Gaiman also said that the difference in reactions stems from the fact in “Coraline” adults see a child in danger – while children see themselves facing danger and winning

 

rosymamacita:

i never saw so much push back from adults towards YA literature as when middle aged women started reading The Hunger Games. They were horrified that kids would be given such harsh stories, and I kept trying to point out the NECESSITY of confronting these hard issues in a safe fictional environment.

 

jewishdragon:

Also, in an interview, he said that Coraline was partially based on a story his not yet 6 year old daughter would tell him 

SAGAL: No. I mean, for example, your incredibly successful young adult novel “Coraline” is about a young girl in house in which there’s a hole in the wall that leads to a very mysterious and very evil world. So when you were a kid, is that what you imagined?

GAIMAN: When I was a kid, we actually lived in a house that had been divided in two at one point, which meant that one room in our house opened up onto a brick wall. And I was convinced all I had to do was just open it the right way and it wouldn’t be a brick wall. So I’d sidle over to the door and I’d pull it open.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Right.

GAIMAN: And it was always a brick wall.

SAGAL: Right.

GAIMAN: But it was one of those things that as I grew older, I carried it with me and I thought, I want to send somebody through that door. And when I came to write a story for my daughter Holly, at the time she was a 4 or 5-year-old girl. She’d come home from nursery. She’d seen me writing all day. So she’d come and climb on my lap and dictate stories to me. And it’d always be about small girls named Holly.

SAGAL: Right.

GAIMAN: Who would come home to normally find their mother had been kidnapped by a witch and replaced by evil people who wanted to kill her and she’d have to go off and escape. And I thought, great, what a fun kid.

 

somewhereinmalta:

It’s anxious adults who desperately want to “soften” stories. Kids prefer the real thing: with monsters, bloodthirsty ogres and evil murderous stepmothers; where the littlest brother always wins and all the villains are horrendously punished in the end. The world is threatening to the eyes of a child, so they need a fictional universe where the little people have a fair chance against the big and strong.

 

maryellencarter:

Sometimes. Other times you have small anxious children who really, really don’t want anything upsetting or traumatic in their stories. Those do exist; I was one. The whole thing about “children don’t want soft stories, children want gore and horror and decapitated barbies” may apply to a majority of children, but not all of them. :P

#i also went hoppity-skip of my own volition   #i am not and was not a Real Child   #still kind of sensitive about that   #i was easily frightened and easily traumatized   #and the only people who seem to acknowledge that possibility at all   #are like Think Of The Children conservative activists and helicopter parents   #idk if i have a point here   #i just get a little tetchy about Real Children

—

Oh god, same.

The person right before you in the chain says “The world is threatening to the eyes of a child, so they need a fictional universe where the little people have a fair chance against the big and strong”, and while there’s a important harm *reduction* in that, also very important is “so they need a universe where things *aren’t* threatening for a change”.

This world is one *so* thoroughly threatening that even its *sitcoms* contain shapeshifting monsters that camouflage themselves as normal parts of the environment, and plagues that drive you insane and which can infect you through a phone call. A world where cars have stickers constantly reminding you of the terrible things that can happen to you in them, and every grocery store has a random chance of triggering you, re-rolled every four minutes (and you don’t have enough autonomy to even *attempt* to do anything to counteract it).

Why the fuck *wouldn’t* you want a break from that hellscape?

I did read Coraline as a kid, and I don’t think I found it *especially* horrifying, but “not especially horrifying” is *not* *saying* much at that age.

(I continue to be very glad that I did not read Animorphs.)

—

(Although, re: decapitated Barbies specifically, I *did* play barber-surgeon† with my stuffed animals. This somehow did not stop me from being what I think was the expected level of horrified by those bits of Toy Story; it wasn’t until I was an adult that I realised I was Sid.)

—

There’s *some* ways in which I rolled with it more as a kid (for example, my inclination towards fluff is actually *stronger* now), but I think that’s…sort of a learned-helplessness kind of thing? When horror is everywhere, there’s nothing you can do *but* take it.

(related: the thing where younger!me was into (what I would now recognise as) erotic horror because *that was all there was*; my tastes shifted heavily towards fluffy consentful stuff pretty much as soon as there was fluffy consentful stuff to be had)

—

I wonder if this relates to the assumption between adults that everyone’s masochistic.

—

†I don’t think I ever actually called it that, but I figure that term gives you a good idea of the sort of things involved.


Tags:

#the last time I walked into a grocery store and they started playing That Song #I walked right back out and listened to Florence and the Machine on my smartphone while I waited for them to be done #(and it *still* sucked just not as much) #ten-year-old me did not have that option #reply via reblog #long post #amnesia cw #ageism #nsfw text? #death mention #illness mention #my childhood