A character that only ever describes themselves as half-human. They never clarify on what the other half is, even when pressed, and gets insulted that it isn’t already obvious to the other pcs.
Bonus Points: The other half is also human
Tags:
#fun with loopholes #story ideas I will never write #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog
All the Vulcans are fiercely protective of the ‘fragile, illogical, prone-to-danger, smart, reckless little human’.
To make the human feel more accepted (as it is only logical) the Vulcans try to include aspects of terran culture in the ship’s day-to-day life, failing spectacularly at it.
@jvlianbashir THAT’S A GOOD END TO THAT EPISODE THOUGH…
the vulcans put together awful, bland decorations. they make a cake because it’s of “significant importance”. they go through the process of putting together this party and Studying this Human Ritual and the entire episode is setting up to what you KNOW will be a horrible result. they do a bad job!!
then when the human’s birthday comes, and they reveal the off-the-mark, underwhelming looking birthday bash, the human just. starts crying. because they had no idea their crew would go through all this trouble to celebrate their birthday, and even put up DECORATIONS, or make a CAKE, and there’s a birthday card with extremely polite impersonal messages written and a hundred perfectly tidy signatures.
and the vulcans are just standing around like “you appear upset. the Birthday Party was unsatisfactory”.
“Humans require regular physical contact to remain healthy. We have a weekly rotation for The Daily Shoulder Pat. Please inform us if this is insufficient contact, either in frequency, magnitude, or duration.”
So in movies and shit people are always getting really angry and flipping tables and smashing their own shit. Not to spite anyone or anything, but just because they’re all mad or something.
Is this supposed to be relateable? Do people actually do this? Or is it just supposed to be dramatic shorthand?
Violence against entities that can’t feel pain is entirely unsatisfying, so eventually I stopped bothering with property damage because it wasn’t any better than repressing it.
Tags:
#reply via reblog #violence cw #is the blue I see the same as the blue you see
for work work I just use the company provisioned MacBook, the Surface comes out when I actually need Windows for something work related
This is rather tangential to your main point, but an FYI: you can get free Windows VMs from the Microsoft developer site. The license is short-term, so they’re not good if you need an environment that takes a while to set up. But if you just have to occasionally test a website in IE or something (as I occasionally do for my work), you can do that on your company MacBook with those.
Yeah these are pretty useful
although I guess they’re trending towards reduced relevance now that chromium edge is a thing?
Tags:
#oooooh #useful things #the more you know #Windows
(someone asked for an example of a dear dentist joke, so here’s my favorite)
My Dear Dentist, I have a problem. Please inspect me, I need your help!
My Client, please open your mouth. Oh, I see, there’s a chip in your tooth.
My Dear Dentist, I have a chip in my tooth! What shall I do?
My Client, if you have a chip in your tooth, then you must apply a hornet!
Tags:
#Amenta RP #Amenta #puns #bugs #language #unreality cw? #now see this is the kind of amazing bullshit we need more of #I went and dug it up to show you guys
Things that should happen in a Sci-Fi story with a Universal Translator
One character who constantly makes bad puns … except the UT totally fails to translate them. “I guess you could say he … had a bad time”, “Well, I don’t think they’ll be … visiting again any time soon”. There’s some other aliens of the same species who groan every time
A group of aliens who share a common language get into a discussion about grammar … but the UT translates the word they’re arguing about the same way every time. “It looks like they left in a hurry … or is it ‘left’?” “You’re expressing uncertainty, so you have to use the subjunctive form ‘left’” “No, you don’t use the subjunctive here, you’re expressing a deduction based on evidence, so you have to use the deductive form ‘left’” “Wait, you say ‘left’ for the deductive? Are you from the Southern Continent?” “Yes, I am. Wait, what’s it in your dialect?” “We say ‘left’ where I’m from”
A character unexpectedly becomes angry at another character. At the end of the episode you find out that the first character had switched verb forms to a more affectionate form when speaking to the second character and was mad that they were ignoring the obvious indication of their feelings
The captain nearly derails tense diplomatic negotiations because of a UT slip up, inadvertently implying a definite claim to a particular planet, as opposed to a tentative claim subject to negotiation
The crew is visited by a group of aliens whose UT is a few centuries out of date, so they’re greeted with Early Modern English
An alien recites the equivalent of Jabberwocky and the UT just completely gives us “’Twas something and the something something did something and something in the something …”
okay but I once went researching pumpkin names in French and Google autotranslated and I read with my own eyeballs the sentence, “Pumpkins, pumpkins and pumpkins are all different from each other.”
‘no es lo mismo ser que estar’, or in english, ‘being and being are not the same thing’
Tags:
#language #story ideas I will never write #yes this #some of these would be a bit embarrassment-squicky for my *personal* taste in stories #but still #and anyway when writers ignore translators sometimes they *still* end up with cringe-comedy mistranslations by accident #so it’s not perfect protection #(like in one of the comments that I will be rounding up soon) #((Cardassians try to hold a detective denouement #but due to a translation error half the people there think it’s a trial and try to apply a trial’s rules))
Script for the unaired scene of Aziraphale opening his bookshop in 1800
I’m not saying that we were robbed, I’m just saying that we were EXTREMELY robbed
“Michael’s a wanker” OHHH COME ON! WE DESERVED THIS SCENE
Tags:
#Good Omens #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(I don’t know how to tell whether this is a genuine deleted scene or if it’s fanfic) #(but it’s great either way) #long post
1) there’s a youtube video in which George RR martin shares his opinions on new york pizza
and
2) said opinions are thoroughly peasant-tier
Given one of our previous discussions [link], my first thought was that a peasant-tier opinion on this is “the best pizza is the kind you get for free by showing up to NYC tech meetups and pretending to care about The Cloud”. I *suspect* that’s not actually what you meant, though.
Tags:
#reply via reblog #food #adventures in human capitalism
