Author: Brin

~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

dracobaby:

harry potter starts a youtube channel and all of his videos are called like:  

“STORY TIME: I WAS A TEENAGE CHOSEN ONE”

 “BABYSITTING MY FRIEND’S WEIRD DEAD HORSE (INVISIBLE)” 

“THERE ARE DARK WIZARDS TRYING TO KILL ME BUT ONLY THREE PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT MY HOUSE”

 

dracobaby:

would like to add to this post and say that harry is uploading these videos to standard muggle youtube. people see this kind of scruffy, obviously Fucked Up kid rambling nonsense into his deskptop camera and just think he is really really good at shitposting

 

dracobaby:

Harry, *filming himself with one hand, throwing raw meat at a seemingly empty space with the other*: “So anyways, you guys probably can’t see him through the camera lens but this weird fuck belongs to my best friend Luna who can’t actually take care of him right now because she’s out riding drag- er, um she’s on vacation in Romania so I have to do it. Um, the only reason I can see him is because I watched my close friend get murdered by an evil wizard when I was fourteen which, by the way, was around the same time I started to think I might be gay. Anyone else?”

Teens on tumblr who have no idea he’s being completely serious: “This is the only man alive who truly Gets me.”

 

professorsparklepants:

Hermione finds out about his channel because someone she went to primary school with posts it to Facebook and then she marathons his entire channel overnight to make sure he’s not going to get arrested for breaking the statute of secrecy

 

ayalaatreides:

Hot Take: they can’t arrest him for jackshit because Hermione shows them Muggle memes and demonstrates that the Youtube audience legitimately has no reason to believe he’s anything but an elaborate shitposter.

 

shipdumbass:

Slughorn:let me tell you the story of the kid who survived and killed the dark lord who was in this exact class where i teach him the most important part of potions

Muggleborn:cool cool

Slughorn:Harry Potter

Muggleborn: THE FREAKIN YOUTUBER

Tags:

#Harry Potter #fanfic #story ideas I will never write #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

yudkowsky:

prokopetz:

Bad: Superhero whose secret identity is just staggeringly obvious, but nobody picks up on it for various implausible reasons.

Good: Superhero whose secret identity is just staggeringly obvious, and everybody “knows”, but in spite of countless people’s best efforts nobody can actually prove it.

“Literally everyone knows that Bruce Kent is the Masculine Mongoose,” said the woman sitting across from me in our candlelit dinner. “The superheroes know it. The villains know it. The guy on the street knows it. Uncontacted tribes in the Amazon know it. The Enquirer doesn’t break the mask code when they print your picture because they don’t even bother mentioning who you are. If I need to have conversations with you pretending not to know that Bruce is the ‘Goose, we’re going to be the only two people on the planet pretending that.”

My expectations for this date’s viability were starting to sink. She was saying intelligent things, and saying them with remarkable confidence and self-possession for somebody who thought she was talking to the Masculine Mongoose himself. It was impressing me and more than slightly turning me on. But the conversation had taken a turn I’d been down before, and not a promising one. “I don’t want to get into a relationship under false pretenses,” I said.

“Yeah,” she said. “Like if I slept with you under the impression that you were just an ordinary playboy millionaire, instead of a superhero.” She sipped from her champagne glass, visibly trying not to smile.

“Look,” I said, trying to make my voice as persuasive as I could. “Just like you say, everyone knows that Bruce Kent is the Masculine Mongoose. People have believed that for eight years. And in all that time, nobody has ever managed to prove anything – never mind suggestive evidence, nobody has ever shown it for certain. Shouldn’t that give you pause?”

Keep reading

Tags:

#storytime #superheroes

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~ Brin ~ Leave a comment

lesbianshepard:

i kinda feel bad for oedipus b/c everyone assumes he chose to fuck his mom when in fact he went out of his way to avoid it. he left his hometown and distanced himself from his parents because he was afraid he would somehow get tricked into fucking his mom. everything could have been avoided if his adopted parents told him he was adopted.

 

lesbianshepard:

someone: oedipus was fucked up like who fucks their own mother??? fucking weirdo.

me: it’s not his fault! he didn’t know!

 

lesbianshepard:

also the point of the myth is supposed to show how despite your best efforts no mortal can thwart fate but also? what the fuck? the whole thing was an oracle telling laius that his son was going to murder him and fuck his wife. that shit came out of nowhere. he didn’t offend the gods or anything. they just decided for no reason other than the world is fucked up sometimes.

 

lesbianshepard:

i have been informed that oedipus’ dad, laius, did in fact bring a curse upon himself for kidnapping and raping king pelop’s son chrysippus.

i stand by my stance that it’s still ridiculous to punish oedipus and jocasta for laius’s crimes. also why would the godss curse oedipus for fucking his mom when they tricked him into doing it in the first place? fucked up.

 

the-cheshire-cat-grin:

You’re assuming the gods are ruled by logic and not by zeus nudging poseidon and saying “hey you know what would be so fucking funny”

 

fangirltothefullest:

This is so accurate

 

gaiusthegenius:

did u guys ever watch the BBC drama “Atlantis”
where the main character is a modern guy who accidentally travels back in time to Ancient Greece

and tbh it’s full of him having moments where he realises this is a myth

like this woman comes to him and asks for help because her husband is trying to kill her baby so he helps her smuggle the baby out of the city to be taken in by another family and the other family ask the baby’s name and she says “Oedipus” and the guy is like

oh fuck

and then he meets a girl called Medusa and the whole time is just like
shit shit shit
then she goes missing and they track her to a cave and he is like “guys this is gonna sound weird but does anyone have a mirror”

BEST MOMENT  is he meets a guy who says “Hi I’m Pythagoras” and he blurts out “THE TRIANGLE GUY” and Pythagoras is just HEART EYES like “YES I LOVE TRIANGLES HOW DID YOU KNOW”

Tags:

#mythology #incest cw #anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(Pythagoras) #this probably deserves some other warning tag but I am not sure what

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

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rustingbridges:

brin-bellway:

femmenietzsche:

I’m grateful that the ability to call people bitches has survived wokeness more or less unscathed. I figured it would, but you can never be 100% sure about these things

…it has?

I mean I guess under a model where it’s important that swearwords be *transgressive*–and where (somewhat) greater acceptance of swearing has thus made them less potent–one could argue that wokeness has *encouraged* “bitch” by shoring up its transgressiveness. But to me it definitely feels like it’s in that transgressive-but-not-totally-beyond-the-pale zone, and for primarily SJ reasons.

(Noticeably further into the zone than calling something “insane”, likely because of the remaining force of the obscenity. I might use “insane” colloquially after some hesitation or if my emotions were running high, but would probably not use “bitch”.)

intragender bitch seems to have survived, intergender seems fairly dicey at present

Tags:

#language #our roads may be golden or broken or lost #conversational aglets

~ Brin ~ 1 Comment

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itsmaledict:

brin-bellway:

thisismycursed3rdblog:

My favorite trope

Strangers TO friends TO enemies TO we have to work together so we can survive TO this relationship is a complex thing that even though they should hate each other and have tried to kill one another they are drawn to each other in a way they can’t fully understand TO friends again TO lovers

@itsmaledict is this Umineko

 

(I’ve been reading it on your recommendation, am currently early in episode 6; pretty good but *damn* are these people fucked up)

no no, Umineko is friends TO strangers TO enemies TO rivals TO we have to work together so we can survive TO gotcha, enemies again TO rivals TO murder rivals TO oh my god why are these lesbians trolling us TO lover TO lovers TO murder lovers

Tags:

#fair #and thanks for the luck I think I’m going to need it #Umineko #conversational aglets