teatraysandtypewriters:

When Harry becomes the DADA professor, kids constantly ask him for an autograph, but he refuses, saying the only thing he’ll autograph is a detention slip. Eventually, though, he starts carrying around a stack of autographed pictures of Ginny, which he gives out when people ask for an autograph. It gets really popular, so he starts mixing it up with autographs from other people, mostly Ron and Hermione. But the students love it, so he adds more. Soon he’s giving out autographs from like fifty different people, including all the teachers at Hogwarts, and a bunch of other random people like Luna, Lee Jordan, Oliver Wood, etc. He even has some fairly rare ones from Krum and Fleur. It becomes a game in Hogwarts to collect all the autographs, like chocolate frog cards. Some of them are more limited edition than others, like signatures from all the ghosts (though Harry won’t reveal how he managed to get those). George starts to offer a discount at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes (and a prize autograph from Peeves, who will only sign Bertie Bott’s scratch-and-sniff cards) to anyone who can prove they’ve collected the whole set. Harry provides him with up-to-date lists of autographs to check against. Every Hogsmeade weekend there’s a line of Hogwarts students in WWW’s Hogsmeade branch trying to get the discount.

At some point a seventh year comes up to Harry and asks for his autograph, but not as the Savior of the Wizarding World, but because they now have the autograph of every other Hogwarts teacher and want Professor Potter’s to go with them. Harry–trying not to tear up–agrees, but only in exchange for the student’s signature. He begins offering this deal to all departing seventh years, his autograph in exchange for theirs. He tells them it’s in case they ever get famous, so he can add it as a limited edition autograph, but really he keeps them all in a big binder just for himself, to remember all his students. (A couple times, though, when a students does become famous, he will contact them and ask if they’d like to be added to the game. So far no one has said no.)

When Teddy starts at Hogwarts he begins a black market autograph trade because he has access to a lot of the people Harry gets autographs from. Harry’s other three children proudly continue the trade when they get to Hogwarts. They’re all secretly aided by Ginny.


Tags:

#fanfic #Harry Potter #headcanons #adorable

andmaybegayer:

Inside of you there are two wolves. That’s nowhere near enough wolves to sustain the population, so we’re starting a reintroduction program. Open wide, please.


Tags:

#body horror? #wolves #(sort of) #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog

Multilingualism on DS9

apolesen:

The Universal Translator is the most boring invention in Star Trek, which is why I tend to ignore it. It’s useful for first contact, but the idea that everything someone says is translated means that we never get any depiction of linguistic diversity in Star Trek, particularly in something like DS9. Imagine the possibilities: 

  • Kira being sent on a crash-course on Federation Standard when she is made liaison officer.
  • Bashir sitting with several dictionary PADDs and a grammar, trying to figure out if the translation matrix Garak ran the Cardassian novel through has messed up or if Garak is playing a very intricate practical joke on him, because surely it can’t mean that
  • Molly cheerily code-switching between Japanese, Irish and English. Sometimes she throws in some Bajoran too – Aunt Nerys taught it to her.
  • Sisko asking for Kira’s help to get better at Bajoran. They meet over coffee and practice Bajoran.
  • Dax sometimes dreaming in languages she no longer knows, but previous hosts were well-versed in.
  • Kira and Odo always speaking Bajoran to one another and only switching to Standard when Starfleet folks are there.
  • The entire storyline of Garak, Kira and Odo with the Cardassian Resistance being in Cardassian
  • Kira learning Cardassian properly only then – before that she spoke only a Bajoran-Cardassian pidgin which developed during the Occupation.
  • Nog teaching Jake Ferengi as a way of returning the favour of Jake teaching him how to read.
  • Garak eavesdropping on everyone. No one is sure how many languages he understands. 
  • The chatter of dozens of languages on the Promenade – the gutturals of Klingon, the uvulars of Cardassian, the retroflex liquids of Bajoran.
  • Multilingual swearing!

 

conceptadecency:

Julian gets really confused because there are about fifteen different past tenses in Cardassian and according to Garak he’s using the wrong one every single time. There is only one future tense.

 

sigynpenniman:

15 different past tenses and one future feels perfectly culturally sound for Cardassian.

 

vanshira:

Jake trying to write a story in Bajoran – which he thinks should be easy, because he’s been living among Bajorans for so long he can speak it almost as easily as Federation Standard – only to be hopelessly tripped up by the fact that there are actually three forms of Bajoran (colloquial spoken/written, formal/religious spoken, and formal literary) and he really only knows colloquial Bajoran

 

apolesen:

I love it! Kira agrees to read it to help him out with some of the dialogue. She’s all for the use of colloquial Bajoran in writing – feels more real. 

 

conceptadecency:

Jake, along with a lot of Bajoran writers who grew up during the Occupation and so did not have much formal schooling, start a literary movement of writing in mostly colloquial Bajoran. It’s very controversial, with some saying the more formal written forms of Bajoran are being lost and that’s another thing the Cardassians took from us, and others saying, what, so we can’t move forward and change just because we were occupied?

 

aidaran-alha:

Has anybody written a series with this premise yet? Because I love it. As someone who writes in a language that’s not her own, and if she did, would do it in her our dialect instead of a neutral, I feel so attracted to this idea.

 

gplusbfics:

Yes, somebody write this, please?


Tags:

#Star Trek #DS9 #fanfic #story ideas I will never write #language

prokopetz:

Intellectually I know that just about any species that lives in social groups and engages in mutual grooming as a bonding activity will probably enjoy scritches, but on an emotional level I was unprepared for that category to include fish.


Tags:

#fish