dagny-hashtaggart:

andmaybegayer:

Estimates say there’s under 20 million Tumblr users and we summoned 25 million crabs. A crab in every heart…

As pleasing an idea as it is, I can’t help but feel that we’ve been burned in the past by cases concerning statistical representativeness and arthropods


Tags:

#April Fools #Spiders Georg #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog #(note: I did not personally summon any crabs)

cabeverian:

45c571982e10bc5db1b0fb881b4b232eec4e11a9

Poking around on “does the dog die?” website and found possibly the best comment on the Mad Max: Fury Road page


Tags:

#Mad Max #relatable #(not the *having* a stunning disregard for traffic safety) #(the describing of an action movie in these terms)

{{previous post in sequence}}


rustingbridges:

one the one hand, washing my hands after moisturizing them kinda defeats the point

on the other hand, I need to use my computer. I’m not gooping my computer

 

brin-bellway:

Three useful tactics:

1. Moisturise in tiny amounts (so that it’s pretty much all been absorbed by the time you reach your computer), making up for it in frequency.

2. Moisturise at bedtime.

3. Wear gloves over the top. (Also combines well with 2, to avoid gooping your bedding.)

 

rustingbridges:

unfortunately there is no tininess of amount that will make my fingertips not feel goopy. if somebody else wanted to rub the moisturizer into the tops of my hands it wouldn’t matter because I wouldn’t have to touch my keys with it

I am extremely weird about hand cleanliness with my stuff and basically only my stuff. I don’t care much normally but if you are using my keyboard, controller, or guitar, you gotta wash them grubby little mitts

I can rub it into the backs of my palms without using my fingertips, by rubbing them together, but I can’t really get the backs and sides of my fingers well done, which is historically a problem area

I technically can use the computer with gloves on, and I have done it in cold weather, but I feel so much less competent at typing and mousing that I really avoid it when possible

I do moisturize before going to sleep and wear gloves over it, but since I prefer to do so after I finish reading on my phone, and I’m often very sleepy by that point, it’s less than maximally reliable

the best solution to this problem is to adequately humidify my environment such that I don’t need to moisturize at all, but until I get the right quantity and quality of humidifiers sorted moisturize I must, and deal with some level of goopiness I must also

the best time slot for moisturization I’ve found for me personally is before going for a walk, as I usually wear gloves anyway and don’t use my hands much

 

brin-bellway:

>>unfortunately there is no tininess of amount that will make my fingertips not feel goopy

I do hear some brands absorb a lot slower than others, so it’s possible switching brands would help. I’m currently experimenting with Live Clean’s “intense moisture” lotion and finding it decent. (A bit of poking at Amazon suggests that Live Clean *exists* in America but might be harder to find there?)

>>I technically can use the computer with gloves on, and I have done it in cold weather, but I feel so much less competent at typing and mousing that I really avoid it when possible

Same, TBH. Apparently it works well for some people, though, and sometimes I’m desperate enough to do it myself.

>>the best solution to this problem is to adequately humidify my environment such that I don’t need to moisturize at all

I run a humidifier in my bedroom overnight, and if I’m not working food service I generally find that moisturising once a day is enough (with larger quantities in winter). But I *am* working food service, so I need to break out the big guns in order to get anywhere near keeping up.

 

brin-bellway:

Also, while we’re on the subject:

I’m not sure where it falls on the absorption-speed spectrum, but in terms of *effectiveness* the best lotion I’ve yet encountered is Beekman’s honey and orange blossom: the only one that’s ever allowed me to actually *keep up* with food-service levels of handwashing instead of just partially mitigating the damage. Horrendously expensive, though, which is why I’m still experimenting with other brands. (Probably less horrendous in America, with domestic shipping costs.)

 

rustingbridges:

yeah some brands are better than others. even very good ones by this metric are imperfect, tho, and tbh I don’t want to spend that much money on goo

if I am only washing my hands for textural reasons I can use water without soap which is much less damaging to the skin, so theoretically with good enough humidification I don’t need any moisturizer. I have achieved this level in new york, it remains to be seen if it’s possible in colder & dryer places.

Update: Aveeno oat and shea butter is *also* good enough to keep up with food-service work, while being much cheaper and *much* more readily available than Beekman. It’s so nice to have fully functional skin again.

Next I’m going to try the store-brand knockoff with a *very nearly* identical ingredient list (even cheaper and almost as readily available) and see how that goes.


Tags:

#reply via reblog #oh look an update #recs #body horror?

fairycosmos:

me in my head at the supermarket: nobody is ever going to fucking love me. omg 25% off


Tags:

#the wounds in the world are innumerable‚ a constant aching wrongness whose healing is a Sisyphean task #oh fuck yes the cashews for $6/lb are still in stock #re: prev tag #(”it is only by the grace of god that i am not a highly active couponer”) #I am absolutely a couponer† and it’s great #it’s like accounting except you can’t fail the job interview #you just show up with your carefully optimised lists and buy $300 of groceries for $200 #(some people in the notes are saying that grocery stores are *especially* Like This) #(I agree that grocery shopping *was* a wild emotional ride in 2020 #–(…OP wrote this on 2020-03-14‚ so there’s that)– #but if you filter out enough of the aerosolised anxiety particles it’s fine) #†(the Canadian manifestation of this focuses more on price-matching‚ though literal coupons do make an occasional appearance) #tag rambles #food #anxiety #adventures in human capitalism #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what

birdblogwhichisforbirds:

My brother, listen, do not be afraid.
I have descended into Hell to talk
About forgiveness. Yes, Pilate, with you.
With others too – with everyone who’s here.
But you first. Even Judas, my old friend,
Must wait a while for me. We have a while;
The sempiternal agony of Hell
Exists outside of human history. 
Souls killed in every century are here
Millennia before and after you.
You stand among those millions who share
An everlasting sentence for the crime
Of “just doing your job.” Your job killed me.
Your job ripped my skin open with a lash
And drove me, bleeding, shambling up the hill
Where your job drove an eight inch iron spike
Through each hand and each foot, and hoisted me
Towards the sky and left me there for hours
To slowly suffocate. You did your job
To many more like me. Their names were all
Forgotten as they rotted on the cross
Unburied. Hell is teeming with the souls
Who did their job, who served the empire well –
Not just your empire, all the ones that rose
And fell, before and after your own Rome’s.
You asked me once what truth is. That is it.
That is the truth about your whole life’s work.
You know this and it sears worse than the flames.
But that is not why I descended here.
I’m here about forgiveness. Listen. Please.


In the beginning was the Word of God.
That’s me. Like you, I had a job to do.
By me all things were made, and without me
Was nothing that was made. The universe
Was my life’s work, the empire that I served.
My father’s will for Mankind was my law.
One act of disobedience was enough
To sentence every one of you to death.
I did my job, and did it thoroughly:
The hands that made the stars built every tomb.
They sculpted tumors, planted neat rows
Of plagues in human lungs and skin and guts,
Conducted rousing symphonies of storms,
Earthquakes, tsunamis, fires, and wrote
In stone: if you survive all this, the time itself
Will kill you. Yet this law, My Father’s Law,
No – our law, I share blame for it – forbade
The dead to die. Infinities of pain,
We gave as punishments for finite crimes.
My father made me judge, and I looked down
On human beings. I saw their sinfulness
And built sparse Heaven and a crowded Hell.
I thought this law was justice ‘til the day
I learned what it is like to be condemned.


Pontius, I have no right to punish you.
I killed you. I killed everyone you loved.
I tortured you, but this ends here. You’re free.
All Hell breaks out today. I will not judge.
From now on, I refuse to do my job.
I am not Christ the King. I abdicate.
How you repay your debt to those you killed
Is your own cross to carry – they decide
Whether they will forgive you when you meet
In Paradise. And Pontius, I forgive
You for my death, of course. How could I not?
But I’m not here to tell you that, I’m here
To ask, to plead, for what I don’t deserve
From everyone in Hell, but first from you.
Brother, when we last met I said to you
That you would have no power over me
Were it not given from above, but now
I bow my head, give power from below.
I beg you for the one gift only you
Can give me: I have sinned against you, please
Brother, can you – will you – forgive my sins?


Tags:

#Christianity #poetry #that one post with the thing #hell cw #death cw #murder cw #illness tw

argumate:

argumate:

funny if it turns out Musk’s whole deal hinges on this elaborate humiliation fetish of his corporate lawyer

or an elaborately deniable attempt at courting Matt Levine??


Tags:

#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #adventures in human capitalism #this probably deserves some warning tag but I am not sure what