etirabys:

Recently, I’ve been fascinated the payoff matrix for two people who are breathing with their mouths very close to each other.

If they’re breathing out of sync – one person inhaling for the exact duration the other person exhales – then this is the worst case for both of them, because they both get stale air.

It’s maximally cooperative of them, and raises quality of total air intake, if they’re completely in sync. When they both exhale, they push a lot of stale air out, and when they inhale, combine their forces to bring new air into the area around their mouths.

The part I’m interested in is defection. The way you maximize your air quality is by setting your cycle slightly after theirs. They start clearing the air when they breathe in, so you get cleaner air if you wait until they’ve done a bit of it to start yourself. The air is best when they’ve just stopped but you’re still inhaling for a second.

The other part I’m interested in is: few people think about this, so if I defect on someone I’m making out with, they’re probably not going to know. It’s like the perfect crime.

After days of mulling over this, I told all this to the new person I’m seeing, and added, “I have defected on you several times, just to have the experience.” They found this amusing, and did not dislike me upon knowing how they’d been cheated. Again, this makes this the perfect defection. I recommend it to anyone else who craves the cheap thrill of ripping someone off.

I also think about this, but in the context of cuddling, so instead the conclusion I came to was that the optimal move is to simply never be face-to-face with the other person. I’ve never made out with anyone and have no plans to, so I hadn’t thought about how it would also be an issue (and one not as easily solved) in that context.

Tags:

#reply via reblog #interesting #unsanitary cw? #asphyxiation cw?