This is a legitimately fine poem. I say so with my BA in English and Philosophy and my PhD. It’s DAMN HARD to write something like this. Be impressed, yo.
First the cracker batter baker bakes a cracker batter batch then the cracker batter mixer door will open and unlatch so the batter mixer nozzle can descend onto the patch where the cracker batter spreads out for the nozzle to attach.
When the cracker mixer nozzle sprays the cracker batter spray and the cracker batch emulsion lies a-soaking in its haze then the cracker batter mixer starts to stir up all the glaze that the final cracker stacker needs to lubricate the way.
Once the cracker stacker handle stacks the cracker batter squares then the cracker batter’s hardened into double stacks of pairs. Now the cracker separator breaks the crackers in the stackers so the wrappers on the stackers fit the finished stacking crackers.
I read this to the ridiculous tune of the “Sprocket Rap” from the Jetsons Movie (Lock the sprocket locker key in the pocket of your jacket / Got the sprocket locker key in my outer jacket pocket…)
Tags:
#poetry #may or may not have reblogged this before #I haven’t read it aloud as such #but I found once I got the rhythm of it it was much easier to recite in my head than I thought it was going to be #food mention #I didn’t actually laugh aloud but it still amused me enough to reblog
I wonder how many interfaith families do combination Easter egg/Afikoman hunts
I wouldn’t call us interfaith (Mom converted to Judaism in part to *avoid* having an interfaith family), but yes, there was at least one year where my parents hid plastic Easter eggs they’d filled with kosher-for-Passover chocolates around the house.
#bringing this back for the 4th #happy America Day folks #home of the brave #food #(I haven’t actually read any of my dash yet or anything) #(just popped in to post this before going back to accounting practice exercises)
My brother saved this document and everytime he gets angry at our neighbours for being loud he prints it to their wireless printer and you can hear the wife shout “Why the fuck would you print this AGAIN?!” to her son.
1. If you were wondering, you can type the numbers in the works cited into google and they appear to be medical journal articles about using medical imaging to detect and diagnose a rare form of Gastritis.
2. Please enjoy the offical powerpoint presentation of this paper at an academic conference by the original author, complete with Q&A:
When I saw this cross my dash tonight, I smiled and thought “yess, the chicken chicken chicken post, I get to reblog it again and inflict it on all of the people that have followed me since last time”, and then I scrolled down more and to my utter delight there was A VIDEO, needless to say my night has been made
I love that he was absolutely 100% prepared for a question in chickenese.
Tags:
#anything that makes me laugh this much deserves a reblog #(though tbh I was already going to reblog it before that) #may or may not have reblogged this before #definitely have seen it before #chicken
Launching into the sunrise is beautiful. @spacex (at Cape Canaveral, Florida)
Tags:
#indeed it is #pretty things #the power of science #the brightest star in our sky #(the description on the original SpaceX Instagram post says) #(that this is a launcher for a cargo vessel bringing supplies to the ISS)
Listen, I hear what you’re saying, but Young Sam being the deadly combo of his mother’s powerful Ladies Who Organize tendencies, and his father’s stubborn anti-authority pragmatism makes him an ideal community organizer. He’s cheerful and unflagging and drinks coffee at a rate that would impress even Maladict; he has a dartsboard in his office with an iconograph of Lord Downey II pinned to it, and when asked his response is invariably a chilly, “he knows what he did.”
When you look deeply in his eyes you can see the abyss looking back.
(It wants to know if you’ve signed that petition yet.)
Brinens and Things 